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Jessica C's ADC

Experience description:  

It was 11pm and after crying all day, I did not want to wake my husband up by crying some more so I got out of bed and went to sit in our living room to cry. After about 10 minutes, my dog who was sleeping in her bed across the room jumped up, and looked around, then laid back down for a minute, then got up and ran to the doorway, then went back to bed..... This was not out of the ordinary, she is a terrier and is always in motion, I called her over and she came to sit on the couch near me, but not on my lap. I was still crying 10 minutes after that, when the dog ran back to her bed and burrowed in. Then at that minute, the intense sadness and inability to stop crying that had been constant all that day, stopped. It just stopped. I noticed the dog looking in the kitchen and I then saw my cat playing in the doorway, rubbing her face on the doorframe and messing with the door jamb and rolling around as per her usual (pre sickness) antics. She messed with a part of my daughters toy pony that was on the floor, and had it in her mouth and had looked like she was about to run off with it. She was constantly stealing my daughters toys and the ponies were her favorite. I think I either had to yell at her to drop them, or chase her down to get them back at least 5 times a day. When she picked it up this time, I was about to yell, but I stopped because I was certain I was going nuts and was not about to alert the house to that fact. She kept playing then moved on to the kitchen and was gone. I went back to bed. The intense, gut wrenching sadness returned the second I got into bed. My husband woke up, and after a hard 6 minute sob, the sadness suddenly just lifted. It was like a switch was thrown and I was unable to cry or sob or beg to have my little Poutie back. I did not feel happy, or mad or anything but normal. I laid on my side and then there I saw my cat again, this time she was laying on a chair near my bed, where she used to often sleep and she was staring right at me, purring, I kept staring and she slowly closed her eyes but kept purring, same as any other time she cat napped there. Then I fell asleep. In the morning I was in the process of waking up, and felt a cat hop onto the foot of the bed, and then walk up to the pillows along the side of my body, this was Pouter's morning routine, every single day except for her last week. I knew it was not one of the other 2, because when they hop in bed, the bed shakes as they are both plump (fat). For a second I thought the previous day was just an awful dream, and as I opened my eyes I heard her little kitty chirp that she always gave me when she woke me that way, as I was opening my eyes. I saw her again when I opened them fast at that point, but she was trotting to the foot of the bed. I blinked and then the intense sorrow was back, and she was gone. At this point, I knew I had lost my marbles. I sobbed for a while over my loss of my kitty, and apparently the loss of my mind as well. I got up and went about my routine, at around noon I took a bath. One of my other cats, Bob had followed me into the bathroom, his usual behavior when I was bathing. Every day for the last year and a half since rescuing Bob, I would have him AND Pouter in the bathroom whenever I showered or took a bath, before that it was just Pouter, she always sat on the toilet, and chirped whenever I opened the curtain, or moved the curtain. I think I mentioned she was quirky already. This day, I was sitting in the bathtub, crying, and scratching Bobs head as he sat next to the tub when I just felt ok again, and then saw Bob dash to the toilet, pause, and then back run back and play with the rug. Bob and Pouter were buddies, and played all the time. He often "greeted" her when she entered the room by running up to her and stopping so she could lick his head. Then they would play.

Later that day, before dinner I was in my bedroom, sobbing and crying inconsolably. We had just gotten a call from the vet who had tried to save my Kitty the day before, he had the results to the necropsy. She had died after eating string and it entangled in her intestines. I was devastated, enraged, heartbroken and stricken with guilt because I KNEW how that had happened. My husband is an avid do-it-yourself person, and had been working on another one of his "projects" and was using tons of embroidery thread for it. I had repeatedly admonished him for dropping scraps and pieces of it, I had told him it was not ok because not only could the cats eat it and get sick, it was a terrible mess, I was so glad when that project was done because I had to tell him DAILY to clean it up! In his defense, my husband is the baby in the family, his mother did everything for him until he left home after college, when the firm that hired him sent him on a remote job so he was put up in a hotel for 2 years, except for his weekly trips home, to his Mom. He has no idea how to clean up after himself. I fell apart because I knew my husband's messiness had killed my cat, and that I was responsible too for letting it happen. I was screaming, wailing, sobbing and my husband was standing in the doorway trying to apologize, he was crying too. Suddenly the "switch" was thrown again and I was calm. I then saw Pout run past the doorway down the hall and then heard her run down the stairs. Then there were her footsteps running back up the stairs. (in life, stairs were her second favorite toy) she ran past the doorway again, but then was back in the doorway, tail flipping fast and wild, same as when she was playing in life. She rubbed against the door frame, chirped and then rubbed against my husbands legs and then ran under the bed. (3rd fav toy was my bed skirt) About 10 minutes later my devastation returned. I took a sleeping pill in order to sleep and was asleep by 8pm. Today I woke up at 7am, and there was no Pouter. My heart sank, I knew the sightings the days before were a hallucination, and I was probably going nuts. I got in the shower and went about my routine, randomly crying, constantly feeling heavy hearted and sad. I work from home and at about noon I took a break to go make lunch for my son who was on school vacation this week, and as I walked into the kitchen there was Pouter, sprawled out across the kitchen table sunning herself. This was a big strict no no in my house, and I always yelled when I caught her, and she always scooted off when I did. This time I gasped, and she scooted away. There was nothing else unusual until after dinner, at about 7pm I was in from of my computer when again I saw my cat, playing with the cords near my desk. I just watched as she played for a few seconds, then washed her face and then went to go lay on her chair. As I sit typing at this moment she is not there in the chair, but she has come and gone from the room several times.  

My engineer's mind cannot make sense of this. I am either going nuts, or my cat is visiting. I want to think that her personality, and affection was so strong, that she feels like popping back in to play. I have had other pets over the years, and lost them to death, but this had never happened. Some of those I had much longer, some much shorter than my time with Pouter, and each and every animal I have ever had I have had strong and special bonds with. I cannot pinpoint a factor that would cause Pouter to be the one to come back to visit, and not the others

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

I wrote this the same as I would write a report on any project, but I still cannot fully explain the feelings at those moments, or the time immediately after

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?           


Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I clearly heard her chirpy meow, heard her feet on the floor and heard her moving things as she played with them

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  it was external but quiet like it was not in the immediate room but rather farther away

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           exact match

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no. I have fantastic hearing

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

she looks like her

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            but like a screen with bad resolution

            How much of the deceased did you see?       all I guess

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       same age

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            just as active she was before she showed her symptoms. before death she was listless and quiet

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           No

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I know the mechanical systems of my house, the lighting, the structure, etc. I know how sound, light and everything carry in it. I know the weather conditions at that time would not have caused anything along those lines. I am a rational adult, I have never had any psychological issues am not currently pregnant or anything hormonally related. I am in good health 

I am unaware of other factors that can lead to something like this

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           calm, amused at points

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           N0 comment

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best was seeing her play, and get into mischief

worst was when she was gone again

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            I have occasionally questioned what was happening

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            calm then sad

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     husband

he assured me I was not nuts

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes