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I was laying in bed getting ready to fall asleep when I felt the presence of my spirit guide standing next to my bed, I relaxed when I realized it was him (I don't know who my spirit guide is, but I can sense it's a male). However, as I was closing my eyes to go to sleep my spirit guide walked out of the bedroom. It was then that I closed my eyes and I could very clearly see my cousin Alex's face. He smiled at me, and though his lips didn't move, I could hear him telling me that he was okay and that he made it, that I didn't need to worry anymore, he made it ok and he was ok. I could not respond to him but I was able to just smile. Immediately after he said this to me I could feel the sadness and heaviness from his death leave my chest. There is much question as to why a 28 y/o would die from a heart attack, so I was very bothered by why he had so suddenly passed. I was also feeling sad about that fact that I could not be closer to him and my other cousins, our family is large and not very close. But all of those feelings left me when he said those words to me. I was not scared by any manner or feeling disturbed. Interestingly enough, the day before my cousin died I had a random funny thought about him, a good memory from our shared grandparents house. Understand that I do not think of my other family on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, so this was a VERY random thought. Alex died on a Sunday night/Monday morning 8/28 - 8/29 (unsure of the time). That Saturday, 9/3, after he had passed, I was getting into my truck to head for work and a small whitish gray colored dove feather laid on my driver side windshield wiper. I immediately thought to myself, Alex was here to visit me. Tuesday the 6th was when I had my experience.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?          No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?       Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:          My cousin told me that he was ok, that he made it ok and I didn't need to worry anymore.

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?          It seemed to be coming from inside of me, I could hear what he was saying though his mouth wasn't moving. But it also seemed like I had a sense of knowing what he was saying to me also

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?    His voice was similar to what I remember it sounding like

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No there were no other sounds, I was laying in bed next to my significant other who was also trying to fall asleep

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?       No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       No

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

The only thing I could see was Alex's face, and it seemed similar to how I remember him looking

How clearly did the deceased appear?            I could clearly see his face in full color

How much of the deceased did you see?       Only his face

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?   He appeared to be the age he was when he died

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?           He looked happy and healthy, like he felt 100% okay

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No, I do not have any pictures of my cousins nor have I seen any pictures of him in many years

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      less than a minute

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?      more sudden, when I shut my eyes he appeared and as soon as he was finished telling me he was ok, it was like I shut my eyes again and when I opened them he was gone

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

He seemed happy and at peace with his death, reassuring that he made it where ever he was going and that he was ok

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?          Other than that he was ok given his sudden death, no he didn't say anything else

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   I believe that my experience was real because just seeing his face and then hearing him tell me that he was ok and physically feeling my sad and heavy emotions about his death leave my body as he said what he said to me, there is no chance this did not happen.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes

It was dream like in the sense that I saw him when I closed my eyes. I KNOW I was not sleeping when he visited me, because after he left I opened my eyes again, smiled and laid there for a while living in the experience and the feelings associated with it

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I felt extremely calm during the experience, when Alex smiled at me and told me he was alright, I could feel the sadness about his passing leaving my chest. As if someone was standing over me and lifted the heavy rock off my chest. Like I could breath more freely.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

Before my experience I would think about Alex and cry. After my experience I can freely think about him and the fun times we had all together and I just feel happiness and reassurance that he's alright

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     The best part about my experience was that he told me he was ok and I didn't have to worry any more. The worst part of my experience was that he didn't give me more detail about where he was or what really happened to him.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     Before I was nervous about after life and having my spirit guide following me around. My spirit guide has followed me for a number of years, but has never talked to me, I can just feel his presence. Like I'm not alone even if no one is in the house. Now I feel more open to contact and accepting of what could happen. I feel more trusting of my first gut feeling than questioning all that time why things happen.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? No      Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?          Uncertain     I feel like I am sure there is a after life, however I am not sure where Alex is. So I wonder where he really is at, like if he's in heaven or if he's a spirit guide now to his siblings. I'm curious as to where he went.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?         No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?         I felt extreme calmness and happiness that he was ok. A lot of relief that I didn't need to worry or wonder about him anymore.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

It was like he was visiting me on a different level in my own consciousness. But I was very much awake, I don't know how else to explain it. Like if my own spirit lived on a different level then my present conscience, it was like he was telling my spirit he was ok, not me to my face. If that makes sense?

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?  Uncertain

It was almost like an out of body experience, but I couldn't see myself laying in bed, it was like I delved deeper into my own sub conscious because it was just like a black/gray misty background behind Alex, I could only see his head, not even his neck

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?        

Did you see a light?        Uncertain

It was kind of lighter around his head but not significantly

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?      

Yes    I shared the experience with my professor at school. She has long studied after life and spirits, as she is the one I confided in about my spirit guide (she's the one that told me its a spirit guide). When I explained to her what happened, she told me that it was an after death contact. She said that my cousin gave me a special gift because he could sense that I was disturbed about his death. Even with my random thought about him the day before he died, the spirits were preparing for him to come to the other side and because I am sensitive to spiritual presence, I could pick up on the vibes that his spirit was going on a different path. Even though I wasn't aware at the time that he was going to die.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?       No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?     No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes