My wife was one week past her due date and we went to the doctors office for a check up. They checked her heart rate and blood pressure and thought the blood pressure machine was broken, so they got another and had the same result. I do not recall what her blood pressure was but they told us to meet them at the hospital for emergency surgery. The hospital was just across the parking lot so we drove over. I was excited because I thought our boy was going to be born soon. My wife looked sick and fearful. I soon realized that things were not good. My wife went into surgery immediately and doctors were walking past me but would not even look at me. I tried to ask nurses to give me an update or at least explain what was going on. I just paced and prayed "God no. God no. God no."  A doctor finally came to talk to me but he didn't give me any information he just asked a question. If we can only save one which one should we save? Should we save your wife or your baby? This question was not as difficult as it seems. I answered almost immediately to save my wife. The doctor left me in the hallway. I continued to pace and pray "God don't do this, don't do it, don't do it" I know my prayer was elementary at best, but I couldn't even think.

Another doctor came to me and asked, "How long should we try to resuscitate your baby?" I didn't understand the question. I said as long as it takes.  He said, If your child has not taken a breath on his own and his heart is not beating how long should we continue CPR? I was confused and I asked, My baby has not taken a breath? The doctor explained that my child was still born and they had been trying for a half hour to resuscitate him. He said, I just need permission from you to stop. I nodded and he left. I didn't know what to do so I just ran. I ran out of the hospital and out into the parking lot where I lost all my strength and cried harder than I have ever cried before. After quite some time I made my way back into the hospital and I was met by several staff asking if I was Jonathan. I said yes and they seemed relieved. They rushed me back to see my wife. A doctor stopped me before I went in and told me that my wife was heavily medicated and I needed to tell her that our baby died. I was shocked that they had not told her yet. I went in and when I saw her alive I was comforted but I also knew I had to tell her the worst news she had ever head.

I said, "hunny, our baby didn't make it." we burst into tears and held each other, but she said I know. We stayed in the hospital room all day. We got to hold our baby's lifeless body before they took him for autopsy. We cried the entire day and well into the night. I was just wondering how we ever get through this. I almost knew that we never would. I was laying in a recliner next to her hospital bed and we were very quiet we were both completely exhausted but could not sleep. In my exhaustion I was in state between awake and asleep and I saw my son! He was very bright and floating in space. There were stars all around him. He was very much in a realm that looked like space, but he and the window into this realm were at the foot of my bed. I began to cry, because I knew I wanted him, but I also knew it was time for him to go. Telepathy can come closest to explaining how we communicated.  He was telling me that he was OK, and I was telling him that now I would be OK too. I could no longer see him or the realm he was in. Just then I saw my wife reaching for him. This was when I realized that I was not dreaming, because she was reaching right were I had just seem our baby. She fell out of bed reaching for him and I caught her. She was crying heavily and I said I know, I know. She said, No. You don't know. I said yes I do. I saw him too. We cried and held each other.

We talked excitedly and amazed about what we had seen. I got out of my chair and climbed into the hospital bed with her. We finally fell asleep. I know that without that experience, my wife and I would have had much difficulty in believing in God. She was not a Christian then and had even said to me that she could not believe in God and if there was a God she didn't like him. Now we are both Christians. We both believe in God and love Him very much. I can't wait to see my son. I know he will meet me as soon as I die. I hope Jesus is there with him.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          No     

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain     I was grieving heavily with my wife because our son was still born. She was also extremely toxic and sick from the effects of our child's body starting to decompose while still in the womb. She had come dangerously close to cardiac arrest earlier in the day, but prior to our experience we were both convinced she was going to live.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?  I was conscious the entire time but I did not realize it until my wife was reaching for him.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?          Normal consciousness and alertness         

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?          Yes    My son was made up of an energetic light. He was not completely transparent but was not what we consider to be solid mass either. Imagine a light so bright that you cannot see past it (like looking into the sun). But imagine that it does not hurt your eyes or make you squint.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
          Yes    There was no sound. I didn't hear anything until my wife began moving.  never heard anything from my son's realm. I knew what he was thinking and he knew what I was thinking. it was more than communication. It was communion.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Amazed at the experience, curious about how this was happening, confused because at first I didn't understand why he was with me. I felt relieved when I knew he was ok. I was still sad, but I was willing to let him go.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?        No      I could see through a portal. I guess it can't really be called a portal, because I could not pass through it.

Did you see a light?         Yes    I saw several lights like stars and my son was very bright.

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Yes    I saw my son.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?   No      I know that their is life after death.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         Yes    The fact that my wife saw the same thing at the same time and was active in the experience verified it.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?          Yes    The dimension was very much like the area we call space, but I believe it was probably past all planets. I did not see anything that looked like a planet.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No      Not that I could tell. I have no idea how long the experience actually lasted but it seemed to me that it only lasted 45 seconds to a minute. I remember thinking to myself. How long can we stay here?

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes    I think that God gave us the separation of death as a rule that cannot be breached. This is an important rule because it forces us to learn faith and hope. However, God is above even His rules. He created the laws of physics. We know that people cannot walk on water. That is a law given to us by the creator, but then the creator came in the form of Jesus and broke his own law. Why did God break his Law and allow my wife and I to see past death? Because we were weak and we needed to or our spirits would have died. The same reason Jesus appeared to Thomas and allowed him to touch his wounds.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes    I could see into the spiritual realm but I could not enter it.

Did you become aware of future events?      No         

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?       No     

Have you shared this experience with others?        Yes    Most seem to be speechless. Like they want to believe it but can't. It seems that they begin to try to come up with reasons that explain it, but all the obvious reasons are gone. They can't say that I was delusional or crazy unless they are going to say that my wife is crazy too and we are both crazy in exactly the same way. They can't say it was the drugs she was on, because I was not on any drugs and saw everything too. They can say that I was lying to protect my wife, but I am willing and would be more than happy to submit to polygraph (lie detector).  They can say that she was lying to protect me, but she was a part of the experience and it would have been impossible for her to play along unless she knew what I was seeing. I think it just confuses people.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No      I just found out that they were common a few days ago. Now I am studying other peoples experiences.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   Because it was a shared experience I know that it is real. If it was not shared I do not think that I would or could believe it. I would probably have gone to a psychiatrist to get medication.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire experience was extremely significant.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:          Experience was definitely real         Only because it was a shared experience.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?          Yes    Yes my relationship to everything. There really is life after death. Science says that once energy exists it cannot cease to exist. Our souls are energy. They continue to exist in a very aware state.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes    My level of faith in God increased greatly which led me to a question. If God is real then who is Jesus? Then I found a chapter called Lord, Liar, or lunatic written by C.S. Lewis and it makes perfect sense. I also read the Athiest counter to the literature and it made no sense at all. How could someone mistakenly think that they are God? The Atheist say that he could have been confused about being God without being crazy. I simply don't agree. If anyone truly believes that they are God and they are not then they are crazy.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?          Uncertain     I have had no other experience like this. I have had dreams similar to what I saw. I also have dreams about being at work. That doesn't mean that work isn't real.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?       If you want to know anything else you can e-mail me. It's ok if you are skeptical. I am not going to try to sell you a book or make any gain from what happened. I have no reason to make this up.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes    I believe that even through all of the typos that anyone who reads what I have written will understand a great deal of my experience.