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Judith H's ADC

Experience description:  

The first experience was while I was asleep.  I felt the mattress move and my husband say "oh dear" and then felt him rush by me into the bathroom the way he used to before he died. 

The 2nd experience was a few nights later when I got up to go to the bathroom I thought I saw him sitting on his side of the bed (back view only). 

The 3rd experience was a few nights later.  I was lying on my left side with my arm out and I could feel his neck and head in my hand.  I looked down into his face and he said "you shouldn't be doing that".  It took me a little while to figure out what he meant.  I had been reading "Hell'o From Heaven" and I thought perhaps he meant I shouldn't be reading it.  I then realized I had been doing a lot of crying at that stage and I think he meant that I shouldn't be crying because he is ok. 

The 4th experience was at the 12 month mark.  I dreamed I could see his hand floating in front of me so I reached out and took it and it was warm and reassuring and it felt so good. 

The 5th and latest experience was at the 14 month mark.  I was sitting in bed watching a movie and I noticed a white oval mark on the wall above the lamp on my dresser.  I didn't remember it ever being there before so I thought it might be the light from the dresser causing it so I got up and turned it off but it wouldn't go away.  Then I thought it might be a dirty mark so I got some cleaner but it still wouldn't go away.  Then I thought it might be coming from outside but the venetian blinds and the draperies were tightly closed so it couldn't have been that.  I got back into bed thinking I would ignore it but I couldn't so I went back to looking at it and suddenly I realized it was the exact shape and size of my husband's head and you could see shapes that suggested eyes so I thought I would talk to it to see what happened.  I talked about what I had been doing, how much I missed him, asked him for advice and told him how glad I was that he was checking on me.  This went on for about half an hour when all of a sudden it just faded away but it left with with a very warm and comforted feeling that maybe he was watching over me.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you see the deceased?         Uncertain

The white glowing mark on the wall was the same size as my husband's head and it rather looked like him from a rather transparent point of view.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            The mark on the wall had a rather transparent glowing white appearance but was very similar in appearance to my husband.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       Just his head

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       Same age as when he died - 58

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            That's what was strange.  I had heard that an ADC was supposed to show the person back to the way they were before they got sick but I got the distinct impression this hadn't happened - he still looked ill.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   No

How long did the experience last?        The longest experience was the latest - about an hour in total.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          My husband and I had 33 very happy and loving years together for which I will be forever grateful.  He was my lover, my husband and my best friend.  We always said that together we were one person.  In other words when he died I lost the other half of myself.   

I am a very level-headed person and he was ill for 4 years so I had some time to get myself ready for the inevitable end.  Both my doctor and grief counsellor tell me that I am doing well and making good decisions and my boss tells me that I have displayed great strength of character going through this and trying to get on with my life. 

Having said that, I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and everytime I did I would ask Peter to help me to get through this and would tell him that I couldn't live without him.  It took until the 6th month following his death before I started experiencing thinking I was seeing or feeling him and each time I felt comforted and a bit stronger as if I could face life again because he was there.  As well, sometimes when I am in the car I will talk to him and I would swear that I could hear his voice tell me "it's ok littleone, you're doing great and I'm right here with you".  I obviously don't know if any of this is real but it is terribly comforting.   

One of the reasons I think all this could be real is that my husband was terribly interested in science fiction - he read everything ever written about it for 33 years so if anyone could find a way to talk to me he could.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           In every case I felt happy and comforted.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           No

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      My mother thought it was just silly and that they were just nightmares and that I should just forget about them and my friend who is Senior Vice President of Human Resources where I work said that it was definitely Peter checking in on me and was thrilled for me.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            Only from the perspective that I like feeling like Peter is watching over me.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   No       Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Uncertain            I am very interested in finding out about the Afterlife

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            A feeling of peace and comfort knowing he was watching over me.

Did you see a light?           Uncertain  Only the light from the mark on the wall

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes    

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes