I was overcome with grief.  I loved this man dearly, and could not bear the thought that he was gone.  Shortly after I went to bed, I knew I was not going to be able to sleep.  I was crying, and I said to God, "I don't care where Dad is, I want to see him right now".  Instantly, my room filled with as bright light (as if a flash camera had just gone off).  I was all of the sudden in a beautiful, beautiful garden.  "Dad" was there; only he looked about 30 years younger.  He was slim, with as full head of dark hair. (At his death, he was grossly overweight, with snow white hair).  He took me in his arms and gave me one of his special hugs.  He said, (with out words, really, more with thoughts), "oh Judy, you are going to love it here.  It is so beautiful.  Even the children do not cry when they fall down". At that time, I was a preschool teacher, so the comment about the children meant a great deal to me.  He also conveyed the thought, "you will be here with me one day, it will seem like a long time to you, but it will only be a twinkling of an eye here".  I always teased him about his twinkling eyes.  Then I had the perception of being filled with "great knowledge".

After another bright flash of light, I was "returned" to my bed in my room. My deep grief had dissipated, and I felt a deep since of love and piece in its place.  Except, that I did not what to "come back". I felt very sad and angry at that. 

After this experience, I went through a traumatic 3-year depression.  I think it was because I had to come back to this plane.  Eventually, I came to believe that I still have a purpose here, although I don't know specifically what that is. 

I have been able to transcend space and time, and return to this garden and Dad, at will. I also "know" that he is no longer there, just an illusion of him is still there.  This has been very comforting and reassuring to me.  Also, I seem to gain much insights and "knowledge" from these visits.

Since this time, I have had numerous experiences of knowing when a friend or relative has "reached" the other side, the garden.  Some go immediately there, and others take time, but everyone eventually gets there.  I have "learned" about the "reflecting room" that some people spend time in, before entering the garden.

As a result of these experiences, I do not believe in Hell.  I believe we create our own level of hell here on earth, by our own actions and awareness's.

Did you sense an awareness or presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them ?  No
       
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?  Yes
      Describe:  I heard with "thought words". It was communicated to me that this was a beautiful place.  That everything, (petals on flowers, blades of grass, drops of water in the water fall) has it's own distinctive note, or song, part of a great and beautiful harmony. Many great and wonderful things were communicated to me.  I remember them, as they are needed in my life, or the lives of those around me.
      Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated?  His voice seemed to come from his thoughts into mine.

      If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar to the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?  It was exactly his voice as I remember it to be.  Same deep resonance, pitch, tone, etc.

      How clearly did you hear the deceased?  Perfectly clear.  As the saying goes, "from his lips to my heart"..

      Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  Absolutely not.  I was in a quiet room in the dead of night.  There were no radios or TVs on in the house.  It was winter, so the windows and storm windows were tightly shut.  It was a single family home, not an apartment.

      Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  No, I have always had exceptional hearing.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?  Yes

      Where and how were you touched?  I felt him hug me, in a very special, warm and loving way that he always hugged me.

      Was the touch familiar?  Completely familiar.

      Was anything communicated by the touch?  Pure and absolute love.

      Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  No, my husband was sound asleep on his side of the bed, with his back to me.  He did not make a sound or a move.

Did you see the deceased?  Yes

      Describe the appearance of the deceased:  He looked 30 years younger, and yet exactly like him, at the same time.  He was about 200 pounds lighter, and had dark wavy hair (again, at the time of death, he was grossly overweight and had snow white hair).

      How clearly did the deceased appear?  Solid, steady, firm.

      How much of the deceased did you see?  I saw him completely.  We walked together in the garden as he showed me around.

      Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?  No, he appeared to be about 30 years younger.

      How healthy did the deceased appear to be?  He appeared to be in perfect health.  Whereas in life, it was grossly overweight, diabetic, with a heart condition, poor circulation, difficulty walking, etc.  None of this was apparent on the other side.

      Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  No, I was in a totally darkened bedroom, with blinds and drapes closed.

Did you smell a distinct smell, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?  Uncertain

      Describe:  He had a very "healthy" scent about him.  Previous to his death, he had a sickly sweet, unhealthy scent.  That was completely gone.

      Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?  Fresh, clean, healthy.

      Was anything communicated by the smell?  Health and wellness.

      Is there any possibility the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  No, again, it was winter, the house was shut up tight.  There was no one or nothing that could have caused or created any of the sensations.

How long did the experience last?  Unsure.  I did not look at the clock prior to, nor after the event.  Seemed like minutes, but was left with a "lifetime" of knowledge.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?  Sudden. Started and ended with bright flashes of light, such as a flash bulb from on old time camera.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?  Yes, he was very peaceful, happy, and healthy.  Full of joy at the beauty of the place.
      Describe:  Yes, he was very peaceful, happy, and healthy.  Full of joy at the beauty of the place.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  That no one is sad there.  That there is a "reflecting room".  That everyone crosses over, eventually.  That there is no space or time on the other side.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:  Experience was definitely real

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Joy at seeing Dad.  Awed by the beauty and love in the Garden. Sad and angry that I had to leave.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have:      Joy
      Other Attitude or Belief
          I believe that I was given part of a gift of knowledge during this experience.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?  Uncertain
      Describe:  At first there was severe depression at having to come back.  Now, spiritual healing and forgiveness towards others.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes
      Describe:  Yes.  As explained earlier, I was given the gift of knowing about a "reflecting room" where most, but not all, people spend time in, reviewing their life's events.  Also, I "know" that Dad is no longer in the garden.  I now just see, and talk to, an illusion of him.  I am not sure where he is.  Either a higher plane on the other side, or he has been reincarnated.

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  Yes
      Describe:  I have often had the sense of leaving my body, of "visiting" different people or places.  Have had experiences of knowing about place I have never been before. Also, since this incident, I am often "given the knowledge" when someone has made it to the garden.  Usually at night, either while sleeping, or upon awakening.

To the best of your knowledge, did the deceased, during their life, ever have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual experience?  No comment
      Describe:  I don't know, but I know he was an extremely spiritual man.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  No
      
Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body? No

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  A bright flash of extremely bright, white light.  Similar to a flash bulb from an old camera.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?  Yes

      Describe:  I saw children playing on the other side of the garden.  They appeared to be playing, "Ring Around the Rosy".  Hence the comment from Dad, "even the children do not cry when they fall down".

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Uncertain

      Describe:  About 6 months after this event, I saw Betty Eadie on the Oprah Show.  As she described her experience in the "garden", I began to shake and cry.  She described "my" garden to a T, even the musical notes made by every living thing there.  I knew at that moment that I had not dreamed, or imagined this event. 

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes

      Describe:  The Garden.  The colors were so vivid they were almost neon.  Every flower petal, every blade of grass, every leaf, every drop in the waterfall had a special musical note that combined to make a beautiful harmony of love.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  There was no space or time.  It was infinity...

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  I felt as I was given a "knowingness" or "the gift of knowledge".

Did you become aware of future events?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Only that one day I would be there.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  The knowledge when someone passes into the garden.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  All fear of death has left me.  I now have a wonderful anticipation of my passing.  I also now know that death is the ultimate reward.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  I just try to be kinder and more accepting of others.  I know that we have all come from the other side, and we will all return there.  I also have conversations with my grandchildren (ages 3 years old, and 4 months old), with their experiences of "before" coming here.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  Most of the people I share this with are spiritual in nature.  If this has influenced them or not, I can not say, but I would like to hope it has.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  No response
      Describe:  Just briefly with Dr. Jeff from this website.

 What emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?  Immediately relief that Dad was ok.  Peace, love, hope.  Then, I was angry and depressed that I had to come back.  Now am accepting of that, and looking forward to my return.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The best part was seeing Dad, and experiencing "pure love".  The worst was knowing that I could not stay there.

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?  Only that I wish I could pass this knowledge to my sister who is dying and terrified of death.  She does not believe in "any of that kind of crap".  I think she would be able to let go, and pass if she would just grasp this.  Instead, she suffers horribly, as she fights death on a daily basis.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  My beliefs are stronger.  I have no fear of death for myself.  My grief at other's passing is not so intense. I see death as the ultimate reward now.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  Uncertain
      Describe:  Only that I can go to the garden at will now.  I can be given more knowledge any time I want or need it.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes
      Describe:  I hope so.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire:  This was very, very through.