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Julie's ADC

Experience description:  

I was sobbing in bed. My mom was a wonderful, very much loved by dad, my sister, me, her sister, her nieces, her grandchildren. She was charming, sweet and very loving. Her death was unexpected. I am single and I had said to her a few weeks earlier, "Mom, I am going to feel so lonely and lost when you and dad are gone. "

I was crying in bed, just so sad and grieving and in shock, when I felt/saw something like a golden ball hovering near the ceiling by my bed. I sensed that it was my mom. I sensed that she was worried about me. I was the youngest, her baby, and she always felt so sad when I was upset about something -- broken romance, bad day at work, etc. She was grieving because I was grieving, and wanted to make sure I was okay. I lifted my head and said to her -- don't know if I said it out loud or not, "Mom, go to dad. He is so sad. He needs you." The light then sort of fluttered out of my room and into dad's room. He was crying and yelling and pounding his pillow, but in about 15 minutes or so he fell asleep.

Three days later, on the day of the visitation, I was picking up a salad to go with the lasagna we were going to serve to relatives who were coming to our house after the visitation. I felt so sad sitting there in the parking lot because a month earlier I had gone to pick up the salad when mom had the family Christmas party for the extended family (two weeks before Christmas).  I felt so sad and lonely. Then I felt like she was there next to me. Couldn't see or hear her, just sensed she was there. Sensed that she felt bad for me, because I was alone and had to do this all myself, and because she missed us. I reached over and touched where her hand would be. Didn't feel anything, but i just had a sense she was there. Haven't felt or sensed anything since the.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

It sounds so weird. I told someone about it, but said it was just a dream, even though it didn't feel like a dream.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        Just a few seconds.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden beginning and end.,

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably not real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          I am a practical, logical person. I do find comfort in prayer and going to church occasionally, but, still, would describe myself as a skeptic who finds comfort in the rituals, hymns and community of church.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Uncertain

What did you feel (while awake) immediately prior to your experience?            Sad

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Sad, but calm and peaceful.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

Just felt a little more peaceful, like maybe, possibly, just maybe mom was with her mother (a month earlier, mom had said how much she still missed her mom, who had passed 18 years earlier) and her father and other relatives, and maybe she wasn't in pain anymore.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best part -- felt that mom was okay. Worst part -- missing mom, wanting her to still be here.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? 

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Briefly, calm and peaceful before starting to grieve and cry again.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Uncertain      Shared it with a few people, but said it was just a nice dream.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       Very surprised to find out other people have experienced something similar.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes