I was trying to sleep. it had been a very long and drawn out week. I was full of anxiety.  everyone in my house was down for the night and I was just laying there trying not to think of what I just went through that day. I was with my dad when he passed.  I heard something and looked at the end of my bed and there was a black shadowy figure. shape of my dad. he had his hands at his side. I gasped so loudly because I got so afraid that someone was in my house I woke my husband. he said what's wrong and my heart was beating so fast . the figure went away and my husband went back to sleep. still I have full anxiety when its time for bed. I know it's my dad but not a way I want to see him.  the next time I saw him was in a dream and it was so peaceful. I was dreaming I was in a car with my sister and we told of a death in the family so we went to the families house. I then saw myself sitting on a couch that faced a doorway to a kitchen. I kept noticing something floating across the ceiling. every time it went by it got easier and easier to identify. I screamed out "hey that's my dad!" all of a sudden he was in front of me. I could see his face so clearly and his shoulders. I reached to him and said dad give me your hands. I could feel them. I told him they felt cold but warm. he just kept smiling at me. he was in such a beautiful bright light that surrounded him but not blinding. I felt so happy.  I then heard a noise in my ear like a hello so I instantly woke up and looked at the clock. it was 7:20am and I tried so hard to go back to sleep to see him. I got out of bed and quickly called my mom. oh how I want that again! I also am not sure but two times including last night I woke up at 2 or 3 in the am to a smell of toast or and English muffin being cooked in the toaster. no one was up in the kitchen but the smell was very distinct. I got worried something was burning but no just the smell.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    a hello but it was in a weird tone and it sounded like hi lo instead of hello. it was deep sounding like mans voice but it was rattled

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  oh definitely outside of me

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           yes

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no way

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

I felt his hands

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   they were cold but warm but gentle

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  no

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  no

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

I saw his face and his shoulders. he was healthy and beautiful. he was surrounded by a bright glow but not blinding to my eyes

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            clearly but looked almost waxy

            How much of the deceased did you see?       his face and his shoulders

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       when he died he looked awful. so skinny and very aged. when I saw him he looked like he did probably around 2 years prior to his death. he looked so healthy

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            very healthy

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Uncertain

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           toast or English muffin cooked in a toaster

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     sure

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   no

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        no

How long did the experience last?        a few moments

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         started gradual the ended suddenly

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

I could see he was smiling so I guess he was happy. I want to believe that he was happy and is happy

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           because I experienced it. I know what is real and what isn't. I felt him. I knew this was his way of telling me he is good now. I have cried so much and I miss him so much and this has helped me get through this ordeal. I want more from him and I am trying to do as much research as I can so I can actually try to understand this better and know that one day I will see him again.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

one experience was a dream but turned in to reality. I think it was a way for my father to be able to contact me without scaring me like he did the first time.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I had many so the first night incredibly sad. the next one I'm not sure

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I got that he was healthy and happy again for the fist time in a long time

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      best was seeing him worst was having him leave again

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I feel if you believe in god and the power of love and you are open to this you can have peace

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     still I need more guidance and research to learn more. I definitely am more apt t see things and hear thing I didn't notice before.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            pure joy but still missing him so much and wanting more from him

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Uncertain

my husband was next to me but doesn't quite remember me waking him up

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain

not sure but I felt it was just me and him

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Uncertain

during the time I saw my dad in my dream we were at a gathering of the family for a family members death but no one was mentioned. I did see other people there while I was trying to figure out what was floating at the ceiling in the kitchen. everything around me was grayish and I couldn't make out the people. the couch I was on was floral. that is what I saw . when I finally noticed it was my dad on the ceiling everything else disappeared and he then was kneeling next to me

Did you see a light?           Yes

be hind him surrounding him

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     my mom and two sisters have had their experiences as well. we share everything with each other

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I cant wait for another chance to see him or talk with him

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes