K Mann's ADC
As I said above, I went back to the sofa-bed to relax and sleep at around 2:30-3pm after doing some rigorous thinking, re-writing of my resume and sending out job applications.
I was fast asleep, out cold, when suddenly in my mind I saw a purer than white sleeve with an intricately embroidered, gold band at the edge of the sleeve; it was absolutely incredible, like nothing I had ever seen before. In the sleeve was a right hand and part of a forearm. The two lower fingers were curled in on the palm and the thumb held down those two curled-in fingers. The other two fingers were pointing out straight, as if one is making a gun with the hand, but lacking a trigger. The detail in the hand was as exquisite as the embroidery I just mentioned. The hand with the two fingers pointing out and the sleeve took up the entire view in my mind.
Now, the part I just related could easily be interpreted as a dream, and I'm willing to accept that it was. However what happened next is more real than I am sitting here typing this account.
I felt two hard and very distinct prods in my right shoulder. I jumped up with a start. I saw my wife talking with my daughter in the kitchen. And my (cell/mobile) phone rang.
My mind went back to what happened earlier in the day, and my first reaction was, "Nah! no way!"
I could still hear my phone ringing. Again, I picked it up, and sure enough it was ringing. I answered it and signaled my wife and daughter to "tone it down"; they were, as they were in the morning, having mother/daughter "arguments".
I turned my attention to the phone, spoke for a few minutes and thanked the caller.
I had been offered the job of my dreams. Of all the jobs I had applied for, I knew this one was the one for me. I was absolutely ecstatic.
But it doesn't end there.
I knew that prod. I knew it was my dad. I felt him there. The very next day I took time to watch a bit of TV. I had no sooner got up of the sofa-bed I was sitting on, turned on Foxtel went to turn 180 degrees to my left to get back to the sofa when I saw them... I had got through exactly 90 degrees of my turn.
A crowd of people, and I mean a crowd, twenty or more, standing there in the house, all enveloped in absolutely brilliant white light, and every one of them, except one, was dressed in the same white, gold-embroidered robe from my earlier "dream". They were waving. They were laughing, and they were very, very happy, for me. That was the feeling I experienced, not that they were happy, but that they were happy for me.
Being aware of what had actually happened I said aloud, "Thanks guys. Really." It took a split second and I completed my 180 turn. I turned back 90 degrees and they were gone.
Two things stood out. One of the people was not in the same clothing as the others, he was very tall and wore a hat. In front of the crowd was a young lad who looked perhaps 10 or 12. 12, and he had fiery red hair, a trait of my family from my father's side. I knew the lad but at the same time I didn't. I knew I had a connection to the boy, but my entire life experience does not allow me to know who he was. Odd. Being logical, I am not prone to things like this happening to me.
I told my mother of my entire experience. I mentioned the gold embroidery and the tall man who was dressed differently. She put her hand over mouth and made an exclamation. She told me that she had once 'seen' my father, but his mother was not with him. He told my mother that my grandmother had gone to 'get' my grandfather. My mother also told me that my father had said that my grandfather "was not ready to be in this place."
When I told my mother
of the prods I had got in the shoulder, she said, "Oh! I get that!"
Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience: Location and activity at the time: Very odd circumstances, around 8am or so. I fell asleep on a spare sofa-bed in the main rooms of the house the night before and woke up in the morning to my wife and daughter talking in the kitchen, which is clearly visible from where I had fallen asleep.
I woke up because I could have sworn I heard my mobile phone ringing, which has a very distinctive and very annoying sound. I chose it so that I knew for sure it was my phone that was ringing or not. I also have it turned up loud because I am deaf.
Like I said, I woke up because I could have sworn I heard my mobile phone ringing. It was not ringing. I told my wife that I thought my phone was ringing. I distinctly recall jumping up with a start, fumbling for my phone, which I kept by me, and I recall feeling a little confused that it was in fact, not ringing at all, despite my having heard it right inside my head. I am quite deaf so I know exactly what something inside my head sounds like.
I put it down to one of
those weird things in life. I later spent some heavy-duty concentration time on
adjusting my resume for specific job applications. The rest of the day is rather
vague and uneventful. I went back to the sofa-bed to relax and sleep at around
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
I am fully aware of experiences that cannot be described in words. Our language is limited and the receivers of our words must make assumptions about my meaning, For example, if I say I am happy, the receiver relates my use of the word happy to their own experience of the same word. They then infer their own experience upon my words and attribute it to me. I do know what human communication entails :)
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: During the midst of my trials at being unemployed for the first time in my life, I had been impatient to hear from prospective employers. One day I cursed and, again, inside my head, this incredibly calm and powerful voice, whom I knew was my father, said, "Patience, son". That is exactly what my father would have said.
It was as clear as a
bell. I had to almost pinch myself to make sure I was not on a different planet.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? The voice was, without a doubt, deep inside my head. It resonated. Heck, I'm almost completely deaf, hey.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? As I said, it was exactly what I would expect my father to say.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No. As I said, I had to almost pinch myself. I distinctly recall asking myself if I was lucid. I am almost completely deaf and would not have heard anything except plates being smashed in my immediate vicinity.
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? Hahaha. I am deaf. In the last decade no sound has ever impinged on my reality like this voice did. Not even my own thoughts.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
I am 100% certain that I was prodded twice in the right shoulder.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? I already explained this. I knew it was my father.
Was anything communicated by the touch? There was an urgency about the prodding.
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? I could have been dreaming, but this was real, and not a dream. Since as far back as I can remember, my dreams always take place on a black background. In fact, I get annoyed at TV shows making out that dreams are in full but fuzzy color on a fuzzy, full-color background.
I was completely alone
in the house. My wife was working and my children were at school. There is
nothing that I am aware of that could have influenced my experience.
Did you see the deceased? Yes
I saw the hand, as described, and with it there was a knowing. When I saw all the other people, I knew many of them, though some I did not consciously recognize.
How clearly did the deceased appear? How solid is two good, hard prods in the shoulder?
As for when I saw the
others, they were, without a doubt, 100% solid. however they appeared within an
arch of bright light and at some distance, despite the arch and these people
being right in front of me.
How much of the deceased did you see? The whole hand and forearm of my father, with the gold-embroidered robe, took up the whole of my mind. When I saw all the others waving at me, smiling and laughing as if they had just played a really big joke me, I saw all of them, head to toe, but at a distance.
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? to be quite honest with you, I have no idea how old they were but I got the impression that they were all, each and every one of them, at their best.
I did mention this to
my mother, see above about talking this over with her. My mother was insistent
that my grandmother looked as if she was 23-27 and in her prime.
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? My father was as sick as one might possibly ever get. He was the proverbial "old-banger" that fell apart as it was driven down the street, whereupon the frustrated driver gets out and walks off, leaving the old banger to fall apart on its own. My grandfather had severe renal failure, compounded by being hit by a runaway underground coal carrier, so I am told. Both my father and grandfather, whom I never met, had exceedingly great physical limitations. Odd that you should ask such a question, because I am 100% sure that the odd-one out in the crowd was my grandfather, and he came across to me as being physically crooked in some way. Physically crooked, that is.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Look, I was stressed and fretting at not having a job. I saw my house being sold from under me and I saw myself, my wife and my kids living in a caravan (trailer), for crying out loud. Heck, someone with my skills and experience should have been snapped up in a few days.
However that said,
there is nothing that any cognitive scientist on the planet could say or do to
convince me that my experience was not real. I mean, all of this was more real
than me sitting here right now telling you the story.
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? Yes
What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell? Funny you should ask. My mother was placed in an orphanage at a young age. Her father was, by my own account, not by mother's account, an evil and abusive man.
For several days before
these events, I could smell, wait for it, wait for it... sterilized milk. The
smell of sterilized milk is the smell I associate with my mother's deceased
Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar? It went even further than the scent of sterilized milk. A few months after all of these experiences transpired I was lying in bed, not the sofa-bed mentioned above, but in a real bed. The air was hot and thick. I was looking at the wall, wondering if I would ever get to sleep in the heat and stickiness I was feeling. Suddenly a cool breeze ran across both legs below the knee. I looked at the window because I was 100% certain that I had not opened it - it was cooler inside than out so it made no sense to open the window. I had no sooner acknowledged to myself that the window was closed when I smelled the distinct smell of a sickly-sweet perfume.
I sat up in bed and took a deep breath through my nose, mainly to check my own perceptions were still intact. I assure you I was 100% awake. And I could still smell this perfume. In one sense I knew who it was, and in another I suspected whom it might be, and in yet another sense I was unwilling to admit who it might be. The next morning I went down to the granny flat and asked my mother who it was that she knew might wear sickly-sweet, cheap perfume.
Of course, your guess is right. She said the name of the aunt whom I both knew and suspected as being the presence creating the breeze. There is nobody in my entire life experience, apart from that one aunt, who would be caught dead wearing cheap, sickly-sweet perfume.
Was anything communicated by the smell? Brilliant question. Now that I think about it, yes. The end is not the end.
Please be aware that this aunt... oh, good grief, I just recalled another incident with this aunt... I was, what, 11? Approaching 12? I was a drummer in the Boy's Brigade. For no reason known to me at all, I woke up one morning, took the drums down off the top of my wardrobe and played the death march. I got to my grandmother's house with my father and my grandmother looked terrible. She asked my dad to send me out of the room but my dad, being my dad, told her if she had anything to say, it can be said in front of me. My aunt had died a few hours earlier.
God, I felt like shit.
Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No. I was home alone when these smells were occurring. My wife was at work and my kids were at school.
How long did the experience last? This went on for weeks, months. A blink by any other standard.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? It wasn't either gradual or sudden. It was, funny enough, sort of expected. However if you push me to pinpoint time, it was sudden, but still not unexpected.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
Yes, I could. My father was immensely calm. When he said, "Patience, son", it was as if time stood still. It was weird, as if an eternal patience had impinged on my here and now.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? I did not receive anything at all that did not relate to three distinct things... 1) my here and now, 2) some odd sense of eternity and unfulfilled purpose, 3) that my spiritual life is somewhere-near tuned toward some unknown eternal truth.
Odd, I reckon.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: Look, I am down-to-earth, despite having said that, I know with 100% certainty that my experience was real. You could line up all the psychiatrists and psychologists on the planet and I would give every unbelieving one of them a good run for their money, not with emotive stories but with water-tight logic.
I was once involved in a terrible motor vehicle collision that, surprisingly, did not take my life. Afterwards, I was speaking with a psychologist who had the gall to ask if my flashbacks to the incident were real or imagined. He was intent on knowing my knowing. I laughed and asked him if our present conversation was real.
I know the difference between real and unreal, and I know that not one person on this planet can ever experience my reality; you, and everyone else must make assumptions.
The point? I was questioning the psychologist's reality. I don't think he liked that. It was easier for him to terminate our "business relationship", than it was for him to answer my questions.
Funny that. I needed
help and he had a business relationship.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
100%, as a fact, unquestionably established, these events were real. More real than me typing out a relation to them.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Oh, hey, I was over the moon. I had had received first hand knowledge that my suspicions and assumptions were not wrong. How would you feel at getting such vindication?
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain
I marked this question as uncertain because I knew beforehand that all of what I have written is true. I just 'know. But on the other hand, I am actively questioning my religious beliefs. This is a really tough one for me because the church I attend espouses predestination. Predestination requires others to be damned to eternal disconnection from God. I cannot honestly imagine a worse fate. Whilst I can understand all of that, it is still too difficult for me to damn even my worst enemy to such a fate.
Having said that, it is not my decision or my place to determine if anyone in particular should be so unfortunate.
In all honesty, when I
look at the question, "Was there any emotional healing in any way following the
experience?", the answer is no, there is only confirmation of my assumptions.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part was all of it. There was no bad part.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain Describe: This is odd. I knew this was true and yet I didn't really have the evidence before me to prove it to myself. I am in the unfortunate position of having a stack of evidence on one hand and doubts on the other.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes as I said, I am actively questioning some beliefs. I am not yet decided on these.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? No not at all. I expected this, but was doubtful I might be correct. I find it odd that 20+ years after my father's death, and given my experiences, I am still seeking tangible proof beyond my own experience. I guess I have to resign myself to the fact that, in this life at least, even the very best evidence does not equate to truth. And that self-evident truths do not require proof.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? Yes
Oh, God. My father always said he would come back as a lizard. I see lizards, real ones, everywhere, when I least expect them. However my oldest son once went to a psychic and the psychic couldn't tell my son anything other than that there was a freaking great lizard in the room.
Go figure, hey.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No Apart from the fact that others were happy, all of these events centered around me and my then situation.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? lol... truth is truth, followed by personal vindication.
Have you ever
experienced anything like this?
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes
I scrolled down and saw you have a section for the experience itself. Good, because so far you only have the preliminaries.
immediately prior to the witnesses who were then when my mobile phone rang. I
will get to it in the later section.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
Definitely. I think I always have had, despite these experiences I am relating to you.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
To be honest, I think this has always been true. What I have now is evidence to base my vindication on.
Did you become aware of future events? No
There have been major some news events that I already "knew".
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No
I think I had them before, but they were dormant for at least two decades prior to these events.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
That's a different story.
Did you meet or see
any other beings other than the deceased?
Did you see a light? Yes
White surrounded the hand and sleeve. White surrounded the crowd I saw.
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? Uncertain
Yes and no. The image of the hand with two fingers ready to poke me was "in my head". The pokes were in my reality; I felt them. The crowd of happy people were, at once, in my reality, though a split second later when I turned back, they were not there. When I saw the crowd, I was both here and there. I'm not so sure that makes sense, but that's what it was.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes My wife took it in her stride. My mother was a bit shocked, but she can be melodramatic at times.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
No, not at all.
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? Yes, I knew this to be the truth.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
I have taken medication to control anxiety for the last 12 years or more, due to a serious motor vehicle collision. Given the reality of the experience and the length of time I've been on the medication, and what it does for me (allows me to control every-day anxiety) compared to how recent the experience was, I completely discount the medication has having any role in this experience.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No never.
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes
I have had one OBE, and one event I cannot put a label on, perhaps vision is an appropriate word. The "vision" had a profound effect on my spiritual life.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
I have told you the truth as I know it. I have not tried to mislead you in any way that I am aware of.
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. The responses page needs cleaning up. Black text instead of bright blue would be helpful. Crikey, hey, long survey.