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Kathy F's ADC

Experience description:  

I had been unable to sleep so I was walking around the house and decided to lay on the living room couch.  I laid down and at the moment I closed my eyes my husband appeared sitting right in front of me on the floor with his elbows up on the edge of the couch and his face in his hands and he was just smiling at me with his face 2 or 3 inches from my face.  He didn't say a word and I was so startled seeing him there I jumped up and I guess that I opened my eyes because I looked back down and he was gone so I thought to myself "Oh my God, I'm finally having my dream and so I hurried up and immediately laid back down and tightly shut my eyes and there he was again in the same spot but kind of nodding his head back and forth kind of laughing to himself I guess at how silly I must of looked.  He still said nothing but he reached for my hand and I at first held it back because I was a little bit afraid because I knew he was dead but still he was in front of me and it was like he knew what I was thinking and he just smiled and grabbed my hand anyway.  He pulled it toward him and then he put my wedding ring which had been lost or stolen for many years back on my finger and then he just said "I still love you Kathy" and as fast as he appeared he was gone.  I jumped up and immediately put my hand up to look at my ring he had just put on my finger totally expecting it to be there but it wasn't.  It was so real that still to this day I know I wasn't dreaming but I must of been or the ring would of been there.  That was the only experience I ever had since he died 15 years ago and I remember it as vividly as if it happened yesterday.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I heard his voice just like it always sounded and the only thing he communicated was that he still loved me and that was all.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  His voice came from him just like he never died and was sitting right in front of me.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           His voice was just the same as in life

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           NO

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   NO

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

He took my hand in his hand and put my ring on my finger

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   completely familiar as if he was never gone

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  just love like he wanted me to know that love lives even after death

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  NO

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

He looked like he did in life although the room I was in was very dark and he almost seemed to have a light or a glow to him because he was easy to see almost as if there was no darkness in the room but there was.  I remember he was even wearing a pink izod polo shirt which he did own and I still have.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            he appeared solid

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I think I saw all of him, I don't remember if I saw his feet but he had jeans and the polo shirt on so I definitely saw most of him

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       He appeared the age he was at death

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He appeared very healthy, but most importantly he just seemed completely at peace with everything, he had a confident calmness about him which I can't really explain and which he never really had in life.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        maybe two minutes, not very long, not long enough.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Very sudden, no warning he was coming and no warning he would just disappear so quickly.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

He just seemed at peace with everything and just wanted to make sure I knew he still loved me.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I really don't know how to explain it... I just know I was not dreaming even though my logical mind tells me I must of been.  That experience proved to me that Bill may not be here with me and his kids but I have no doubt that he is okay and we will see him again one day.  The experience had to be real because I have never remembered any dream as vividly as this experience.  I remember it more vividly than I remember yesterday and its been 15 years.  Can't explain it!

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Completely shocked, in disbelief it was happening and at the same time excited nervous, happy, and I remember I could hardly wait to run into my sons rooms and wake them up to tell them what happened.  Needless to say they were not so impressed, they just asked what happened and I told them and they said "that's all?"  They were only 6 and 9 years old and probably thought I dreamed it or something I don't know I just know I felt like a huge weight was lifted off me and a lot of my anger about his dying seemed to go away.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes    

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes            Instead of trying to have faith that life goes on after death, I knew that life goes on and that death really is not the end.  In a strange way it's something I almost look forward to now, although I'm in no rush to get there.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

Yes, my husband and I had talked about it not long after we were married and we said if there is a way to let the other know we are okay we would.  At the time he really didn't believe in God or heaven so he said he would haunt me being sarcastic.  About two months before he died he told me for the first time that he really did believe in God and had a change of heart.  Seems almost ironic he would die not long after finding God. Maybe that's what God was waiting for.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I was happy, relieved and grateful that I had the experience.  I didn't care if anyone believed me or not, I knew it was real and I had no doubts anymore, it all confirmed to me that life really does go on and I just knew that everything would be okay.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I don't know if they really think it was real even though I think they really want to believe it was.  I think its a personal experience that nobody else can really understand unless it happens to them personally.  I stopped telling people and trying to convince them that it was real, I don't need to convince anyone, I know what I know and I don't need people to believe me.  The experience was meant for me and

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       Love never dies....it goes on and on and when our life here is done the people  we loved and loving things we have done are the things that matter most.