|ADCRF Home Page|
I had experienced a great deal of guilt surrounding Michael's (Mugsy's) death. I hadn't seen him in a couple of years nor had I brought my then infant son to visit him. He had remarried and his new wife, though a wonderful person, was chain smoker and being a new mom, I panicked over the thought of smoke around my baby. So, I stayed away. In addition, his daughter and I had more or less parted ways for reasons I prefer not to go into and I felt funny about visiting him... even though in retrospect, I know that it wouldn't have mattered.
His daughter called to tell me that he was in the hospital and dying of a heart attack on Memorial Day weekend in 2000. I asked if I could go see him to say goodbye and I was told no because I wasn't family. I was very hurt by this because I know that Mugsy always thought of me as one of his kids. I didn't argue though.
No one bothered to call me to let me know that he had died. I read about it in the paper a couple of days later and I spent the next six months worried that he was angry with me for not coming to see him more. While I was worried that he was mad at me when he died, I would also like to point out that I didn't go around dwelling on the topic. I have full life and life does go on. He was in the back of my mind though.
In November 2002, I had a dream, or communication, with him between the hours of 3A.M. and 6 A.M. (also the most common time for my communications). In this experience, I found myself in a very large stadium or gathering place. It was Greek in nature (I think) and was open to the sky. There were people everywhere but I did not feel the least bit threatened.
I was immediately focused on a coffin and knew that it was Mugsy. I began to cry and walk toward it. As I approached, I leaned over to look in and Mugsy suddenly jumped up and out of coffin and yelled, "Boo!". This was definitely something he would do. He had a great sense of humor. I jumped back and the first thing he began showing me were his legs. In life, he was paralyzed from the waist down due to a logging accident when he was sixteen. The last two years of his life, he had been bed ridden with an infection. In this communication, was jumping around and dancing....and laughing. His joy was obvious. The other thing I noticed was that his hair had gone from gray to jet black. He appeared to be about 35 years old and in perfect health.
He began communicating with me but no words were used. Everything was done via telepathy or by showing me pictures. He had important things to say to me... least of all to stop worrying about things so much and that he wasn't angry with me.
was finished communicating, I asked him how to go home and he directed me to a
lady who basically instructed me to wake up. I did just that and upon waking
felt absolutely wonderful.
Date of experience: 11-2000 (exact date unknown)
Length of time between death of deceased and your experience: approximately six months
Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience: Sleeping...dream state. Somewhere between deep sleep and light sleep. This level of 'sleep' is where most of my communications take place.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? No
Did you see the deceased? Yes
In life he was paralyzed, older and had gray hair. In this experience, he was tall (had both legs again), had black hair and was about 35 years old.
How clearly did the deceased appear? Very clear.
How much of the deceased did you see? All
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? No
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? Perfect health...vivacious
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? NO
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
Playful, impish and also an underlying sense of seriousness. There were things that needed to be discussed and Mugsy was a no holds barred kind of person.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? he confirmed things I had already suspected.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: Unless you experience such things yourself, it is difficult to explain the knowledge that comes from such 'visitations'. I simply know the difference between regular dreams and a visitations. The other thing is that my experiences are not limited to dreams. My son has a 'shadow' that hangs around. He calls him his friend "Shadow". Shadow likes to torment me and scare the crap out of me at times...a story for another day! When my husbands grandmother passed away this past summer, she followed me around for a couple of weeks. I could smell her and feel her. This was significant because in life, I found her a tedious human being who caused a great deal of pain in her younger years.
grandmother passed away in April of 2002 and I immediately dreamed about her
stuck in my mother's basement. I did not communicate this to my mom however, she
then stated as a matter-of-factly that she didn't want to go down to the
basement because Grammy was down there and confused. So you see, my experience
are various...this isn't all of them. I simply know that these experiences are
real. It's natural for me to know things before they happen, to sense things
about others (this drives my husband nuts because I'm always right about people)
and to receive (but not initiate) communications from deceased persons. I don't
always have to know the people either... that point should be made. There are
times when I have zero ties to people who come to me.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes
It was in sleep state
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Awe
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
already described it. I felt happy.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? There is no bad part. The best part was closure and seeing him with his legs.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?
I believe that I have a gift. I value it. I don't dwell on it...it's just a part of who I am.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Uncertain
Death is still a mystery and I still have a fear of it. I have more faith that there is something beyond us but the reality is that I simply do not know what to expect. I do take great exception to people who have no faith in the possibility of an after life however. I find them tedious, and often time unimaginative and lonely. That emotion has grown since my own experiences have increased.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? No
I asked Mugsy (in this communication) what it was like 'over there' and he told me not to worry about it.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Uncertain
Mugsy verified information pertaining to situations that we were both aware of. He verified what I had already suspected and basically told me to stop worrying about it because there is nothing that I can do about it.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Elation and relief. I felt energized...like i had just had the best nights sleep of my life
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Uncertain
Mugsy was younger than in life. I got the sense that time didn't matter a great deal
Have you shared this experience with others?
Musgy's daughter was angry because he chose not to come to her... this is a typical reaction for her. My husband thought it was special and asked if it made me feel better. My mother also has these abilities and was not at all surprised.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? Just that I read this back to myself and realize how crazy it must sound. My major in college was psychology and I'm well aware of some of the diagnoses that come from such experiences. I'm confident of my sanity and I don't go through each day dwelling on these experiences. They happen when they happen and I have very little, if any, control over them.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Uncertain
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes