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Kelly B's ADCs

Experience description:  

Many experiences:

1) 3 days after Bowie's death, heard something tapping at the window. I went to open front door to go out to see what was going on. Opened door only 5 inches and a huge beetle flies inside the house. It flies up into the light fixture overhead. It crawls around, then falls out of light onto the floor in front of me. I could see it was some type of scarab beetle about 4"x3" big (huge). I have never seen a beetle such as this where I live. I immediately thought about how the scarab beetle from Egyptian mythology means 'life after death' or 'regeneration' and then thought to myself, 'is this Bowie telling me he's okay?' 

2) Was grieving desperately for Bowie about 2 weeks after his death. I asked him to please give me a sign he's okay. I went to our old house to pack up remaining boxes (we had just moved to new house) and had forgotten about my request earlier that morning. While packing kitchen, heard a dog bark. I went to the front window to see what was happening. Neighbor boy from across the street was playing with a dog I had never seen before while living there. The dog was the spitting image of Bowie...Black with white chest, white feet, white marking on face, and white tip on tail. Dog was about 1-2 years old and playing with boy, running and jumping, fetching a ball, and so happy! Bowie was sending me a sign just like I'd ask him to. 

3) Was very upset and grieving one night, crying and angry at Bowie's death. Kendall was trying to comfort me while we were in bed. I was making statements that God was a jerk and so on just feeling complete anger at having to have lost Bowie and the unfairness of it. Every time I cursed God or said something about death or God in anger, my side table alarm clock would blink off. It was the blue lighted panel that shows the time and it would turn completely black then flick back on a few seconds later. This happened over and over while I raged. My clock has never done this before and has never done it since, and works perfectly fine.  

4) A few months after his death, I was alone in house for the week. I had started putting a stuffed animal bear on the bed at night to cuddle with. I got up one night to go to the bathroom. When I crawled back into bed I reached for the bear and he wasn't there. I turned on the light and he wasn't on the bed. I found the bear on the floor, about 3 feet from end of bed, laying right next to where I have Bowie's ashes. I quickly thought to myself, okay I must have flung it out of bed while asleep? I know I'm not a thrasher at night. Then I realized that I had just returned to bed via the same route the bear was laying and did not feel it with my foot at all where I would have tripped or stepped on it when walking if it had been there at that time. This meant the bear had moved to that spot after I had walked through that area and had crawled into bed, a mere seconds! Another thing that struck me about this is Bowie 'loved' stuffed animals and I think he was showing me again that he was still around by bringing the bear to where his ashes were. 

5) For several weeks now have had swarms of dragonflies hovering around our property - only our property and no one else's. This is still continuing to this day. Have had some people start commenting on it as it is very unusual looking. I just get a sense of calm walking through them and feel it is some kind of sign again. 

6) For several weeks a few months ago, every late afternoon, a group of about 13 swallows would fly in circles around our backyard, only our backyard and no one else's. 

7) Kendall has told me he has had several instances where he's heard Bowie's sharp bark in the middle of the night inside the house. I don't hear this. 

8) One night while I was telling Kendall how I suspected some things happening were signs that Bowie was okay and that there is life after death, we both heard a muffled dog bark. This happened during this conversation so we felt it very strange indeed. We both agreed it could have been Bowie saying, 'hear me for Pete's sake!'

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

Experience was more of a sensation, or 'knowing' that it was Bowie giving me signs that he's okay. Only signs that I would notice for what they were.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    Heard Bowie bark

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  Outside of me

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           Slightly dissimilar

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Wanting to soothe me, let me know he's fine

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No. Only that he was really fine.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

When the experiences happen, time seems to slow down, everything seems 'calm', I get a strong sense of 'peace'

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           A sense of wonderment, not truly believing what I was seeing, still thinking it wasn't 'proof enough' that I needed stronger 'proof' that Bowie was okay.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

Yes, during the experiences I definitely feel a healing, a calmness, a soothing, everything is okay the experience is telling me - life continues, Bowie still exists.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best = the hope it gave me. Hope that Bowie really is still existing somewhere and is okay, and that there is life after death 

Worst = Confusion, mis-trust, further questions, unsettled, not knowing absolutely

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            Only that I'm looking for more signs now, and actually attempting to ask for hard to dispute signs such as 'have a coyote walk by the window that has a white ear' and if that pans out, I'll have irrefutable proof for myself that Bowie is really trying to send me a sign

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     Questioning death, what happens after death, the unfairness of death, hating God if there is God

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Uncertain      If anything I am questioning my spirituality even more than ever. Feeling less belief in God than before Bowie died.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Confusion. Not trusting that what I experienced was real and not just a big coincidence or that I wasn't maybe looking for experiences? I so want a sign from Bowie so that I can feel okay with his passing that I don't trust the experiences even when some are undeniable.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Yes

Husband heard a clear dog bark during a discussion we were having about Bowie. Husband had several instances of hearing Bowie's sharp bark in the middle of the night (we had no neighbors with dogs at the time, and sound came from within house)

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes   Slowed down time, dreamy quality

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Husband thinks it's all coincidences. However, he doesn't question that he 'heard' Bowie barking in the night but I think he chooses not to believe in stuff like this.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No response 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

As a teenager camping I did experience a white light envelope me and feeling an enormous feeling of being 'loved', saw myself in a past life - Note that I had smoked a joint thought ;-) so I still don't trust what I experienced then. I also had a UFO experience at age 13 while not under any influence. My friend was with me and also remembers the experience. We both do not remember what we did immediately after seeing the UFO (which was hovering over us). We never discuss it either for some reason?

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               No

It wasn't just one experience, it's many and many questions asked about one experience when there were different circumstances for them all. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Have another option to complete questions based on having 'several' experiences.