First of all I enjoy your site. It comforts me reading different NDEs. Thank you.
Our daughter, I'll call her Britney, took her life a year and a half ago after going through depression, boyfriend problems (a very troubled boy who quit school at 16 and who we did not accept).
She also was disappointment with our current and only move, small town social politics and life as a whole. She was very smart, had 100-95% scores on her report card, thoughtful, very witty and had a super cute sense of humor and was a cool kid. I wish I was as cool as she was when I was younger.
I had and still have great pride in her. She was a remarkable young lady who could do anything with great ease. She had it all going for herself, including loving parents. She believed there was a God and had a spiritual acceptance, but had a problem with churches and considered them more of a business and the governments way of controlling people's behavior. She asked several questions after church in her later years, many which were hard to answer. During the 10th grade she applied for a Governor's college scholarship without any help from us saying she needed to do it on her own. A week after her passing it came through and she was one of 30 students in the state who were selected. We were so proud of her but at the same time saddened.
I was there when she took her life and it constantly goes through my mind. Technically she did not die on the spot but was kept alive by machines for 2-3 days. She was a prearranged organ donor which she done 6-months prior when receiving her driver's license. I know this was strange but I felt a weird comforting feeling that came over me the moment she did it. Yes, I was in a complete panic state and but angry she did what she did, and as a father I felt helpless. I could not cry for many hours afterwards and did not know why. Everyone there said I was in shock but inside I disagreed with them. I was more mad at the time than anything.
We had several incidences in which Britney has made contact with us and we would like to share them with others to help prove there is an after life. By no means is it OK for someone to take their life and I don't want to give the wrong message to others that everything will be OK. Britney was special girl and we knew it.
The first: We have a young man who works with us at our business. He was like a son to us and a big brother to Britney. We asked him not to see her in the hospital because of her condition and he understood and agreed he didn't want to remember her that way. He too was frustrated and mad it happened. It was out of our hands and in God's hand.
He called and checked on her several times a day and one of the early calls he said he had something strange to tell me and didn't know if now was a good time but he had to tell me.
He said he was lying in his bed the night she entered the hospital. Not sure if he was half asleep or awake, he said Britney came to him at the bottom of his bed and said either "I am going to be OK" or "I will be OK". He responded with an "OK.........." and then she was gone. After he told me I cried and had to hang up. I called back early the next day because I wanted more details.
I wanted so badly to see her too and make sure in my mind she was OK. I am convinced her soul left her body the second she took her life and medical crews kept the shell of a body functioning. He told me she was somewhat blurry and her hair was a little messy and she wore what looked to be a white gown or hospital clothing and he said her mannerism was "just Britney".
One month later my wife and I were 6-7 hour from our home in a motel on a business trip. I went to bed at 10:30 pm, my wife decided to relax in the tub before she turned in. While relaxing in the tub, she began humming a song. Britney's voice came to her clearly saying..."Don't worry mom, everything will be ok, just sing". She could not remember what she was humming and so she started to sing the Barney song she sang to her when she was younger. Then she was gone.
About a month later, one evening I was sitting on our front porch looking into the stars and thinking about her. I guess I went into a relaxed zone where I was thinking of really nothing, just relaxing. From about 10 feet away a comet like figure came towards me. It was Britney's face, clear as can be, giving me a goofy smiling face. She was making her face move side to side like "I can see you....but you can't see me". While living she would make funny faces at me all the time. She did not say a word but was smiling the whole time. I can't recall a body and she was about 8 inches or less in front of my face. I only remember seeing her full face.
I felt bad for myself because I would never have the chance to see her get married or go to the prom and get all prettied up. That evening I saw the prettiest Britney I have ever saw. Although she was playing with me, giving me her goofy faces.... she looked so beautiful. Her hair was pulled up or loosely braided in the front, like never before, displaying her entire face and she had a great smile exposing her beautiful teeth, a smile we haven't seen in a long time.
She normally wore her hair hanging over her one eye. I use to make her wear a bobby pin to hold her hair back when driving because I considered the one-eye look a safety hazard. For the first time in a long time she did not have a single bit of makeup on and she looked so nice, just like an Angel. I only had approx 5-8 second to view her but it was more than enough to slowly look over her entire face with just my eyes moving and believe me, it was so cool.
She must of placed me at a calm where I didn't even blink, flinch or be startled at any point of the visit to include her zooming entry. As fast as she appeared she was gone. I do not remember how she left, she was just gone. After she left I sat there for a few seconds and felt real good. I had like a renewed energy in me and stood up and went into the house to tell my wife.
I have had several good dreams of Britney since her passing in different stages of her life. Every time I was thoughtful enough to ask if she was OK and she calmly said she was fine or shook her head yes and went on doing what she was doing in my dreams.
The first dream I ever had of her, my deceased aunt, who was one of my favorites (not even blood) was sitting at a table with her hands folded in the same room with us just looking straight ahead and looked to be in her 20's as I remembered her while she baby sat us. Britney and I were just moving around the room, not really doing or saying anything to speak of. My aunt's funeral was the only funeral that Britney ever attended and Britney was 10 or so at the time. Another good dream, she was about the 15-16 yr stage and she was hanging up a painting or picture while standing on a couch. She said you know I have to go soon. I asked her for a hug and it felt so good and really real. I woke up in the morning feeling just as good.
Britney was a very special girl and all I could say was she knew things....she had a good sense of what was happening with the world and somewhat believed in the beginning of the end of the world in 2012. She often said, "what is the use? They say we will not be here when I graduate".
Looking back, our real first living incident with Britney was at age 5 or 6 while she was playing in the small hallway in our first home outside her bedroom. She was visited by a lady who she said was "all white". Britney was a good child who never lied to us about anything and we believed her. She was still playing with toys at the time and calmly told us what happened. She said the lady was floating and showed us with her hands approx 10 inches high off the ground. We asked what the lady was doing and she said she was just watching her play. We asked if she was scared she said no. She acted as if the incident was nothing.
My wife and I was hoping she saw what she saw and nothing mental was going on with her. Now, I believe in guardian angels and think it may be my Mother who died when I was 3 watching over her. She had one other similar incident about a year later but we have very little details. Nothing ever happened from there on until after her passing.
I believed in an afterlife and so did Britney. She was good at getting around while with us and just as good today.
To strengthen my believes of the afterlife, I have my brother and a good friend of mine who is a doctor ....both died while in the hospital and came back to tell their stories. My brother's was short and he thinks it was our father (younger version) who died when I was 19-20 yrs old who he said, sternly told him to "go back". At that time he was yanked back by his shoulders into his body. Doc' story is too complex and for him to tell.
My wife's last visit was about 6 weeks ago is the best...but I had another personal incident a few days ago which I like to explain first. I really do not know if this ties into the whole picture but it also happened to me 25 years prior while I was a young airman in the USAF while stationed in Germany and again a week or so ago. Back then I was laying on my couch after working dayshift and I was not asleep but just laying there resting which I seldom do.
All the sudden I could not move anything but my eyes. It was like I was paralyzed. I tried to break loose but couldn't. It did not scare me, but made me very frustrated. This went on for about 15-20 seconds and all the sudden I "broke loose" and immediately stood up. It was strange and nothing like that ever happened to me before. At the time it was my only weird story I could tell people whenever the subject of weird stuff that ever happened to you came up.
Well, it just happened again to me, this time while sleeping in our bed. My wife was next to me on the other side of our king-size bed. I am a very light sleeper and this is a bit confusing. Something woke me up. (I think I was sleeping on my back) My right hand was hanging over the edge of the bed and but was held up by someone supporting it. I pulled my hand back and laid there and thought about it for a moment and kind of wrote it off.
That part may of been some sort of a dream but was too real...but what happened soon after wasn't.
Moments later I was positively on my back and I thought I heard something down our hallway and I froze just like I did in Germany. I could not move. Like before, I could only move my eyes and I don't think I could speak. I thought about trying to wake up my wife but felt as if I couldn't...the words would not come out but my head was turned her way.
I was thinking what if someone broke in, look at me, the protector of the household, all frozen. I was thinking... is this how I was going to react in a real scenario? Mind you I am a retired SMSgt from the USAF, did combat sports in the past and own and run a business where I sell sporting good along with firearms. I thought I was a quick one to react.
Again, just like 25 years ago, after 15-20 seconds I "broke loose". I then sat up on the side of the bed for a moment feeling foolish. Moments later I walked through the upstairs of our house and all 3 dogs which Britney saved and brought home were all lying in their places as if nothing ever happened. I told my wife about it that morning and told her it happened before in my mid 20's. She asked me why I didn't say anything before. (I really thought I told her before...oh well)
I am not sure if this was a player in the post Britney happenings but I thought it was important to tell about the similar incident of the past, although someone seemed to be supporting my hand at the time.
Well last but not least, ....my wife's last encounter with Britney. What was said....bothered me and had me thinking what she meant. My wife is on a new health kick thing and enjoying it. She gets up every morning at 6 am and goes down in the basement and runs/walks for 1 1/2 hours. Downstairs we have a family room, a workout area, my computer room and a section of the downstairs where Britney had "her world", equipped with everything.
Well one morning, about 3-4 weeks ago she was running and the noise of her treadmill always wakes me up. Once I am up, I am up.
So I do my morning stuff, I know I should be doing what she is doing but I do stretch a bit, clean up and make my coffee and come downstairs to say good morning and check out my e-mails and such in the computer room right next to her workout area.
She just put up another nice picture of Britney which I liked the day before and placed it across the room on a cabinet. She was in a zone near the end of her long sweaty workout. (I know the zone, I use to run myself a few ...10 years ago).
Mind you... my wife is very particular about things and is the type that will not let you touch paint unless it reached it's prescribed drying time...right up to the hour and reads all directions, so regardless what happens she will continue her workout.
She had like a lap and a half to go on her treadmill and her hands started to tingle. As she was jogging/walking she was thinking of Britney and looking across the room at her picture. She said something weird was going with her but she continued to press on....she wanted to finish and not cheat on her workout.
While running Britney had made mental contact with her....but kept running. After it was all over she came to me and asked me to feel both her hands.
They were ICE COLD...feeling like she was holding her hands in an ice bucket.
Mind you, her whole body was drenched in sweat, running off her nose, etc. She was trembling a bit and said she just spoke with Britney but it was in her head... not spoken words.
She said Britney told her that Britney did it for us. That she/we had to trust her. If she stayed, things would have been much more tragic, she said. My wife, in her head talked back to Britney and told her, "No, we could have helped you, we could have gotten you help". But Britney replied "No, you don't understand, I would not have listened, you have to trust me" My wife then told her "I do trust you and that someday I will be with you again and hold hold you again".
Britney then told my wife in a fading voice, "Tell dad....tell dad....tell dad."
I asked my wife many times over and over about what exactly was said. I wanted to make sure she said "did for us" and not just for her...as if I snapped or something or her boyfriend got physically involved somehow and things got crazy because a lot of things were happening at the end and we never knew what to expect. What was tragic to her; a divorce, court or possibly other deaths if she stayed with us?
I felt it was important to share our experiences. I now believe it was her time to go, this earth was not enough for her. We may sound crazy to some but it is what we witnessed and hopefully somehow it will help someone else in some way. We own a store and talk to many folks from all sorts of lives. You would be surprised what others have felt, heard and seen. What we see now, Britney still has Britney's personality, sense of humor etc, but she sees things differently (more mature like) now in the afterworld. Believe me when I say, there is a heaven and we can not wait to join our daughter and the rest of our family and friends when it is our time. Until then, we will continue to try to enjoy what time we have together while still on Earth.