Experience description:
In our auto were my aunt, whom had raised me after my mothers death.
my young 7 year old niece and myself. I was 20 years at the time. It was
August, deep summer in the country, the brush had grown high surrounding a rail
track that ran along side the road and made a sudden turn to cross it at an
unmarked crossing. We pulled in front of a speeding locomotive. I remember
looking up from my car seat, I sat on the front passenger seat ( right side) the
train was on the right side right above me. It was huge and right there - I
knew I would die. The train hit us and the car was locked onto the front of the
train. I was later told the car engine had split in half from the impact. We
were drug nearly the length of a football field before the car fell off of the
front of the train. When the car dislodged from the train my niece had been
partially decapitated and blood and brain matter were all over my body - here is
where the NDE happened -- it felt there was no time - and there was no sound -
which was strange because we were still only feet from the train that was still
rolling down the track and had yet to stop - I climbed out of the car and was
standing on the side of the track and I thought "this is what it is like to be
dead" There was no pain (I was severely injured) but there was no sound and I
was standing there within feet of the speeding train that had just hit us and
looking at the wheels on the track and thinking ummm no sounds??? -
and then all of a
sudden there was a giant "whooshing" feeling - there are really no words I know
to truly describe it but like I was being sucked back - from ???? I don't know
but a whooshing sucking feeling on me - and then a bang and then I was back -- I
was back -- and there was sound and feeling and here - while I was there - there
was no fear even though I looked at my dead and disfigured 7 year old niece, I
had no pain with my injuries (many broken bones and cuts all over my body) just
calm and acceptance of what is - no fear -
I
knew I was not here - but somewhere on the other side. And then the whooshing -
can't really describe it - and bang - it was sooo loud when I came back. I
really feel like I was between the two worlds - not really here or there - still
tethered to my body here but not quite just here either.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes very hard to put into words what time felt like at that moment - I was
at a boundary but still and the best word would be "tethered" to this time
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes A violent auto accident. Our car had been hit by a train. The train had
hit within feet of where I sat. There was one fatality in our car. I was
severely injured.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
when I was there - the in between - I knew the horror of what had happened but
was not upset nor frightened or even repulsed by the gore of it - it just was
what was - there was no assignment of any type of judgment to the situation just
a total ok and acceptance. I had no worry of thinking so this is what it is
like to be dead.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
when I was there - the in between - I knew the horror of what had happened but
was not upset nor frightened or even repulsed by the gore of it - it just was
what was - there was no assignment of any type of judgment to the situation just
a total ok and acceptance. I had no worry of thinking so this is what it is
like to be dead.
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
No I'd like to clarify because mine was different - I really think I was
in between and in between there was no sound - no physical sensations - but
sight was the same
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Yes in between for me there was no sound - that stuck out to me
due to the situation - there was VERY loud sounds after I was sucked back into
my body
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Uncertain
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
total acceptance and calm - no judgment on situation just observation
and acceptance
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Uncertain on my way back - I whooshed back through something - it was a
physical sensation of whooshing back into the world
Did
you see a light?
No only on the front of the train right before it hit us (bad joke)
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
No
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Uncertain according to docs and rescue personnel I should not have been
able to get out of the car. They could not believe I did not die from where I
sat - I was in the hospital for 14 days following accident with injuries - since
I did not go all the way to the other side - kind of n/a
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes time seemed much slower - hard to explain - there seemed to be no time -
the whole thing must have only lasted seconds but it could have been a hundred
years to me the way it seemed.
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes I knew that this is what it is like to
die - I knew that and it was not frightening It did not hurt even if you were
hurt and you were not scared.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Uncertain only the sucked back in feeling from the absolute quite and
timelessness of there - when I was sucked back in - everything around me was so
loud and crazy I missed the calmness and peace of it - and it was only for a
split second.
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Yes I had a dream about 3 weeks following - in the accident my 7 year old
niece was killed. My mother had died when I was 4 years old (I did not remember
ever having a dream with my mom before this) In the dream my niece came to me to
tell me she was ok - that she was happy "here" she said I am happy here - she
had been so badly wounded the funeral had been closed casket - I was in the
hospital during her funeral but I had seen her body at the accident. in the
dream she had been put back together with different color skin parts - brown,
etc. I commented on it and said they fixed you up - she said yes, we are all
alike here. She said she was allowed to come back to tell me she was ok because
I was so worried about her. She said she can't stay here long - then she went
out side and I followed her to the door - beyond our door was another world -
and at that world's entrance was my mother - I had never had a dream of my
mother since her death. She had "escorted" her back - my niece was with my
mother on the other side - I knew somehow she was with the other souls that
belonged with us on the other side - then they went into the other world. I
knew when I woke up it was not a dream - my sister - her mother - had the same
dream at the same time - I know because the next morning when I said I had the
strangest dream she said me to - we told the story taking turns telling and
finishing each others sentence from the parts of the dream - it was the same
dream.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes my family - accepting - others interested
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real a knowing of something beyond us - that even
though it is beyond we are a part of - that we are bound/tied to our bodies in
this world but very much a part of something bigger - and we are pretty much
ourselves over there. I was still me.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
the
total calmness and acceptance there - even in the in between - the fact that we
are somehow and I can't explain it but can feel it from this - we are tethered
here somehow ... like a balloon on a string tied to a porch rail - we can only
go as far as our sting can go but it can go pretty far if a huge wind picks it
up - but as long as it's tethered - it'll bounce back.
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real I really feel like I was in between worlds for
a moment. Not quite dead but not quite still here either ... somehow, like
somewhere a split second decision was made and it said "no not her she is
suppose to stay" I value live greatly - more than I think I would otherwise - I
see even tough things here as a gift - somehow I know I am suppose to be here -
even on bad days - I could NEVER think of ending my life or someone else's -
that is not our choice - I value life so very much - if we are here - we are to
value our every moment here. But I am not scared to go there - and we are still
us there.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Uncertain
it's
been a long time. I am sure that my every relationship since that day has been
colored by how this changed me. My life changed suddenly and drastically right
afterwards, yes, my happiness moved very quickly even in such a sad time for our
family. I fell in love - got married- moved to Europe - good stuff accelerated
very quickly.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
very open and interested in all religions. I have an
unyielding believe that we are all good people. One thing is funny - I have
compassion for all souls - when I watch the news if someone has committed a
horrid crime/murder I feel for their soul - I feel oh you wasted it - I am so
sorry for you - I don't judge but it is strange -- I feel for the victims family
for their sorrow and loss but I feel for the other soul too - I feel sorry they
are here and wondering - I am much less judgmental of
folks. I being up that specific thing because my co-workers and I were talking
about a murder trial and I said I feel so sorry the murderer is so lost - after
I explained my view they kind of understood.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
it
is priceless to me - a glimpse we belong to something much bigger than we know
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes