Kristine P's ADC

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Experience description:  

It had been three weeks since she died, and there hadn't been any "sign" that I could definitely attribute to my daughter.  I had begun to question all of my beliefs.  I wondered if I had handled the funeral and all involved in that correctly (from a religious standpoint).  I wondered if my belief that her soul left her body and she was finally free wasn't correct.  I questioned everything and was terrified.  All of these fears, and the fact that I miss her so badly just added more pain to an already awful situation.  I think I had just expected something to happen.  Mikaela was never able to speak while she was alive - but we communicated in our own way every day.  So I suppose I just thought something should have happened by then.

I was sobbing, and for the first time since she'd passed away, asked her to do something - anything - to let me know she's alright.  I eventually calmed down and went to bed.  It was a Thursday night (December 12, 2002).

The following Sunday morning (December 15, 2002), my Grandmother called me.  I was in a rush, and told her I'd give her a call back when she said, "I just wanted to tell you that Mikaela was here,".  Obviously, I was all ears at that point. 

She told me that it began on Thursday night.  She said she didn't know how she knew - but she knew it was Mikaela.  There were "little sparkly stars" grouped together more or less, floating about three feet off the floor, then up near pictures, then lining up and moving down the hall - very fast sometimes.  The grouping moved, and at one point, one of the "stars" "bumped into" a dresser handle and got very, very bright and a little bigger for just a second.  When she was explaining it, she said it was a real attention getter - so my guess is that this was the point of it.

She said she never felt any fear - just a feeling of awe, and of honor, and of happiness.  She chuckled as she told me these things - especially when she said "she's a lively one", and "ya know, I think she was following me around!".  :) 

She said she didn't know if she should tell me.  She didn't know how the news would make me feel - or if I'd think she was crazy, so she waited until Sunday to tell me.

At first, I didn't know how I felt about this.  Why would she go there instead of here - her own home, my home - the home where she lived her whole life, and the home where she died?  I didn't understand, and felt hurt and confused.

That night, I was in my car on my way home thinking about this when it suddenly 'clicked'.  I suddenly understood it all.  You see, one of my fears was that since she died here at home, that she was stuck in this house, or something to that effect.  If she had done this here at home, that question would still be left unanswered.

The way she chose to do it was absolutely perfect.  The relationship that she and I, and my Grandmother had/have, is a very close one.  Mikaela  1) knew that (eventually) my Grandma would tell me about it;  2) she knew that above all other people I know - I trust my Grandma;  3) she knew that my Grandma would believe what she was seeing, and see it as the gift it is; and  4) that yes - she still exists - and is free and full of life.  She answered all of my questions in the way she did it. 

After I understood it all, I thanked her over and over again for her wonderful gift to me.  She was always, and still is, such a good girl!  :)  The 'sparkly stars' appeared several times to my grandma Thursday, Friday and Saturday - but since she told me, it hasn't happened again.  I do not think it will happen again.  Her message was sent, and heard.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No


Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        1 minute or so - several times over a course of 3 days.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

My grandmother smiled and chuckled as she described Mikaela as "lively", a "stinker" in regard to her following her around.  :)

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I know she's ok.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?       Sacred,   Joy 
 
Thankful to her (my daughter), as well as thankful for God allowing our experience.


Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Uncertain

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes

I think it re-affirmed the beliefs I've had for quite a while now - the beliefs I was beginning to question.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I felt relieved and elated, and very proud of my daughter - very honored as well.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes

Some (most) cried with joy, others seemed to be spooked, still others seemed to be humoring me.

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Uncertain 

When I was a kid (12 or 13) a friend of mine and I played a "pass out" game whereby you essentially make yourself hyperventilate until you faint.  It worked for me, and I believe I left my body and "flew" to my home and saw my family watching tv while eating popcorn.  My friend and her sister were the whole while (it had only been a matter of seconds) trying to wake me, and soon did.  They said I had been shaking and jerking around (I now guess that I was seizuring or something similar).  I slept over at my friends house that night.  When I got home the next day - there were popcorn bowls in the kitchen.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes