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Leigh's ADC 2356

Experience description:  


That day I got a phone call at work from my father that my mother was sick. He never calls me at work. I knew something was off . I am a nurse so I finished what I was doing reported off to my boss and rushed home. I called my friend on the way home. I was supposed to go on vacation the next day . I was crying and I told her my mom was sick and refusing to go to the hospital . I was crying . I said I better not have to code my mother. . I was mad she was being stubborn and wouldn't go.    When I reached my parents house she was on the floor and having trouble breathing but she was talking to me and my dad. I told her she was going to the hospital and asked her if she would get in the car or go by ambulance. She said she would go by ambulance . The ambulance arrived in minutes and she was talking fine. When she was on the stretcher she looked at me with wide eyes and said my name. She said, "I think I am going to die ." I told get she wasn't going to die all the paramedics and fire dept were there. I almost laughed thinking there is no way. She is 56 . I was relieved she was going to the hospital after arguing with my father about it . Then she reached out her hand and her eyes rolled back and she coded. It felt like a knife went through my soul. Like my soul burned. I don't think I can explain it. They did CPR for an hour and she never came back .

After much crying and going back to my parents house from the hospital I decided my husband and I should stay at the house . That night I had the most real dream. It started out like I was following my mother. She didn't look at me only walked forward towards this giant stone gate . There was a small path that went through the gate . It looked man made but it was taller than the eye could see. It frightened me but she kept walking toward the opening so I followed her. We were on a dirt path but we weren't walking. More like floating along. I say walking because it seemed like we were in a way. When she went through the gate like structure there was a stream that turned into a river but it was not wet nor did it seem to flow. It was just sort of there and got bigger. Next there was this light. And then there was a left and right and both sides were equally beautiful. But my mother was still standing on the river. She walked to the right. There was a lady there who I didn't recognize . My mother did. And a sort if tree house made of bronze but without a tree. Just like stairs and house. The grass was green but more green than real life. There were animals there too as far as I could see. Then my mother took the other woman's hand . They went up the stairs to the bronze house. I told my family about it and my aunt had the same dream when her grandmother , my great-grandmother died but without the bronze house . The lady in my dream was my great grandmother with my mom. I found her in pictures of my moms.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     Yes   There was a cliff like gate that was so tall you couldn't see the top. Very frightening or intimidating . It was more like a path that separated this giant like stone that was flat and reached up to somewhere

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?  Uncertain 

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   Yes   

Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:     Before they went into the house my mom wanted tea- which is something she drank all the time and I'm assuming that's where they went  

Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?   I was dreaming-unsure 

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     Unsure     

Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   Possible  

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   I was dreaming

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   Uncertain  

Describe where and how you were touched:     At her death when it felt like my chest would explode like something went through it. It was painful

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Painful. Like someone like punched through me  

Was anything communicated by the touch?   Like her soul left the world- that's the only way to describe it.

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   I don't know.

Did you see the deceased?   Uncertain    In the dream she looked younger and rather floated. Her whole being looked lighter.

How clearly did the deceased appear?   She looked more vibrant and youthful but I knew it was her.

How much of the deceased did you see?    The back of her most of the time . My great grandmother from the front then my mom from the side and front as she went up the stairs .

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?   Younger. Almost glowy.

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?    They did not appear Ill. They both were younger. My mom maybe in her 30s and great grandmother maybe 50s

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?    No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    No                

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     She was happy to see the animals and her grandmother

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   She did not talk to me at all.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    It felt more real than I thought possible. I think she was trying to show me it's okay.

Was the experience dream like in any way?    Yes   

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    Yes   

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    When she died that was the worst day of my life. It was a lot of whys. It turned out she died of a massive ovarian tumor which spun off blood clots and she died of pulmonary embolisms.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    Yes    I know she Is not alone and that provided some comfort            

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Yes   

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   Yes That my aunt had a dream of the river and two sides with meadows after my great grandmother died who was also in the dream

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    Yes    Aunt - mothers sister had dream of same place. She was pretty freaked out by my dream.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       Uncertain   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        Uncertain   

Did you become aware of future events?           No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain   

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    Uncertain   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    Yes    Animals I think one was my deceased dog

Did you see a light?    Yes    As she went through the gateway

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   Uncertain   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    Yes mostly my aunt

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No   

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?    That she seemed at peace. Like her short life was okay and that where she was was where she wanted to be.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No   

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      Uncertain    I'm a nurse I see life and death experiences a lot. But never a spiritual event

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes