My step father died on November 3, 2000.  Following his death, my family and I had numerous "contacts" from him.  I knew that my dad was ill and was fortunate to have lived as many years as he had.  I didn't expect his death to effect me as strongly as it did.  Although I was not suicidal, I could not shake the desire to be on the other side with him. 

Months later, my youngest son, 3 yrs old at the time, was still having difficulty understanding his grandpa's death.  He began telling me about a man named Jo-Jo that would come and play with him.  For over a week he would talk about the man ... I didn't really pay close attention to what he was telling me and his story went on for about 2 weeks before I sat down and really paid attention to what it was that he was telling me. He explained that Jo-Jo had been in an automobile accident and was taken to the hospital where he soon died. "After he died, he went to heaven and that is where he lives now", my son told me.  Following his play sessions with Jo-Jo, my son had a clear understanding of his grandpa's death and no longer ask me or my mother "when is Grandpa coming to see me".   

A month or so following my son's experience with his "friend", I had gone upstairs to take a nap as I frequently do.  I lay down on my bed, in a kind of on my side, kind of on my stomach position.  As I started to relax, I felt my body begin to levitate.  Needless to say, it scared the crap out of me.  I grabbed the rod iron in my headboard and pulled myself back down to my bed, all the while trying to force my self to come back to a fully awake state ... although, I didn't feel as if I had actually gone to sleep.  As I felt my self come back down to my bed, I let go of the headboard in order to use my arms to push myself up so I could get out of the bed.  Before I could get my arms positioned to lift myself, I began to levitate again.  Again I grabbed the headboard and struggled to bring myself back down and again I was successful.  No sooner had I began to release the headboard I began to levitate a third time.  Before I could grab a hold of the headboard I was caught up in a "whoosh" and immediately a feeling a calmness overcame me and I relaxed and let go.  I can't say that what I experienced was a tunnel but I don't recall ever feeling like I was just floating in space.  It felt as if it was very intentional, very organized and once I was caught up in the "whoosh", very natural.  Almost instantly, I found myself standing ... not standing as we do here on earth ... maybe I should say I was "being" in a very bright hallway.  I knew the second I found myself there that I was there to find my dad and I had a feeling of urgency ... I knew my time was very limited. At the end of the hallway, I could choose to go either left or right.  As I approached I saw my Grandmother, she had been dead for about 12 - 13 years at the time.  As I started toward her, she said ... without words ... Laura Dew, I know you are in a hurry but I knew you were coming and I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I told her that I was sorry, but I had to find my dad and I only had a little time. She already knew this before I told her. All of the "conversation" flowed all at once.  It wasn't as if I spoke, then she spoke, then I spoke, then she spoke ... it just was.    The meeting was not as I would have expected it to be.  Seeing my Grandmother was natural ... like seeing a family member that you see everyday coming home from work or school.  We both had this, "I will see you shortly" attitude. It is strange to me because my Grandmother and I were very close and I had always expected our meeting to be more enthusiastic.  I headed off to the end of that hall and the only way I could turn was left.  To my left a woman was standing there ("being" there).  I told her I was looking for my dad ... again without words ... she knew why I was there and told me that he was just down the hall in the room on the right.  I hurried down the hall and entered a room ... the wrong room.  In the room was what I know was a man.  I don't remember seeing him, I just knew he was there.  The only way I can explain my experience there was that the energy in the room, the energy from the man was bad, even evil.  There was another man in the room, he was what I can only describe as a guardian angel or a watcher.  He was there to help the man.  His energy was of strength, calmness, peace, love.  I was immediately terrified upon entering the room and knew I was in the wrong place.  I felt as if I was in imminent danger and I wanted out.  The "watcher" protected me and showed me back out the door and directed me back one door. He did this without actually doing or saying anything at all.  As I entered the room that my dad was in I noticed that there was a bed ... like a hospital bed ... my dad was laying in it.  Next to the bed was a small table and next to the table there was a chair and in the chair there was a man.  I felt stunned to see my dad in a hospital bed and I said, "I thought he was supposed to be OK?"  The man in the chair looked at me and said, "He is O.K." my dad looked at me and very peacefully and loving said, I am O.K.  The man in the chair, from what I can only guess was my dad's guardian angel or watcher.  I knew that he was there to help my dad through some phase of his transition.  As soon as my dad told me he was O.K., I felt a brief "whoosh" and was back in my body and immediately wide awake.  The experience was as real ... even more real ... than my being here now.

After the visit with my dad, I didn't feel anymore grief nor did I have a desire to be on the other side with him.  For years I have pondered the experience.  I know that there were no mistakes in what happened in my visit.  I know that each thing had a reason.  I am not exactly sure what those reasons were but I can guess.  The building I was in was like a hospital ... a place of healing.  My grandmother was there not just to say hello but to show that family and friends that are on the other side can come to visit and show love and support.  The "evil" man that I encountered shows me that somehow everyone, no matter how bad, makes it to the other side and receives the help they need to progress.  Why was my dad there?  He was in a healing phase ... also, while he was on earth, he was always telling us "don't forget it" meaning, don't forget that I love you.  He didn't want to leave us and even after he died, he made his presents known.  Still to this day, without a doubt, he tells us, "don't forget it".  I think that he was having as hard a time transitioning to the other side as we were with his transition. I feel that he was there to get the help and healing that he needed to move along.  I don't know if he ever did.  I still "hear" from him from time to time.  Not as often but he still reveals himself.  I do, however, know that he is O.K.  I know that if he can't transcend now, he will be there waiting for me and we can transcend along together.

It came to mind later that day that the man in the room with my dad might have been Jo-Jo.  I feel that my dad had asked him to come visit my son to help him understand his death.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Semi-asleep ... dozing.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Not at all.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     I looked like me ...I felt like me.

I did not look back at my body as I left. On the other side, I could see everything as I do here only more and more vivid, including myself.  I was "in me" but could also see me ... it is one of many things that I experienced that is hard to explain.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Urgency, fear, confusion, peace.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           Whooshing sound as I was leaving and reentering.

I felt it as well as heard it.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?            Uncertain      I don't remember having ever seen the place I went but I had a feeling of knowing where I was.  It was familiar.

Did you see a light?           Uncertain      I did see brightness ... everything illuminated brightly, the walls, the people and even their clothing.  I have never been able to reproduce the illumination in my mind and have never before or since, experienced it in a dream.

I did not see a light, as I have heard described when someone dies.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     My grandmother, an evil entity (didn't actually see him but knew he was there)

3 guardian angels/watchers, my dad.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

I had no idea that I was going ... It just happened. I didn't know it was possible to journey over and have a NDE or in my case an OBE unless you died and were brought back to life.  Once I was there, I had a mission and when it was complete, I was sent back.  There was no time, reason or even the thought of doing any kind of experiment.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes     I didn't touch anything with my hands but the temperature was neutral ... non existence. It wasn't hot, cold, warm or even cool. It didn't matter.

I, nor anyone else, spoke using our mouth or vocal cords although I recognized the voices and from whom the voices were coming.

I could hear everything but like speaking ... it was just a part of the overall experience and didn't involve my ears.

I didn't smell anything either.

I did not use my body to move ... I didn't go through walls but I moved just like I do here ... willing ... but not using my limbs. I didn't ever touch the floor.

Every thing was bright ... the only color I remember seeing vividly is white.  I am sure that there were other colors but white is what stands out ... maybe it was the way that everything illuminated, I don't know.

The only sensory that I used on the other side was my sense of sight and it was mega enhanced. Much more that 3 dimensional.

Hearing and talking were nothing like we know it. They were done together ... and in conjunction with other things like feelings, understanding and knowing.  It was like an energy.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I knew where I was ... I knew I was out of my body and I was fine with it.  It felt natural and I knew how to communicate and move ... it was just ... natural.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     I knew why I was there.  Everything was familiar ... comfortable ... I had a since of having been there.  It was when I came back that I felt that things were strange.  Talking with our mouths, using our legs to walk ... I felt as if everything was so weighted, dull and difficult, like moving through mud here on earth.  Cumbersome.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Uncertain      Not sure what the question is asking.

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No       I knew I wasn't there to stay ... I knew my time was very limited.

I was taken there without warning and I was taken out without warning.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I no longer felt I was suffering from grief.  I no longer had a strong urge to be on the other side.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       None.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Everyone has been in awe.  No one has questioned the validity of my experience.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Immediately was excitement and couldn't wait to tell someone.