I was spending the night at a friend's house when I was 13. I had a dream that I was walking along the main street by my friend's house and talking with my grandmother. I cannot remember any of our conversation and I have always felt that I am not meant to remember this on a conscious level, no matter how much I have longed to do so. It was the middle of the night and I was puzzled that the occasional car that passed by did not seem to see us there on the side of the road. I was in the same pajamas that I wore to bed that night and it was raining, but I was not getting wet, I was not cold and the gravel on the road did not hurt my feet.
The next thing I knew, we were at her house in the living room and I was telling her that I did not want her to go. She told me that she had to but that everything would be OK. When she said that, I understood that she meant globally, universally and in my entire lifetime, not just that moment alone. I hugged her and then I woke up with a start- as if I had been dropped back onto the bed. It was raining outside and my friend's dog was whimpering and licking my foot. I looked at the clock, which read "4:13am" and thought that was the most bizarre yet life-like dream I had ever had. The next day I found out that my grandmother had passed away at 4:13am.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes
The absolute power of the emotions, feelings and message conveyed. Mere words cannot adequately describe it accurately.
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: We talked as if we were having a conversation- I cannot remember if I actually heard her voice though. It was more of a "telepathic" type of conversation with things understood completely.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? It was more of a sense of knowing.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? I can't remember if I heard her voice... I don't think so, but I am not totally sure.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
We hugged as she told me she had to go now.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? It was like any other hug I had gotten from my Grandma, but I hugged a little harder, not wanting her to leave.
Was anything communicated by the touch? Just love and care.
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Did you see the deceased? Yes
She looked wonderful! Healthy, strong and like she had when I was a little girl. At that time in her life, she was wasted from cancer- very thin, very weak and quite ill.
How clearly did the deceased appear? As solid as she always had.
How much of the deceased did you see? All of her.
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? She seemed to be the age I knew her at my whole life- but in wonderful health. I don't remember her looking any younger than the age she was.
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? She was perfect!
She had cancer at her death and was very thin, weak and wasted.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? It seemed like a very long time- maybe 20-30 minutes or so, but since I was asleep , I am not totally sure.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? The beginning seemed to be gradual. It was like we had been talking and walking for a while, but that I slowly became conscious of it. The end was sudden and startled me - as if I had been dropped back into my own body.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
She was very resolute that she had to go. She did not apologize for leaving, it was just as if this was what was happening and there was no other choice. She did not linger with me when I told her I didn't want her to leave and hugged her. She was happy though and was equally strong to me that everything was going to be OK. This was a very important thing she was telling me.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? I think so, but I cannot remember that part of our conversation.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: It was more real than anything I had ever experienced and the fact that she was telling me she had to go at the exact moment of her death made it even more real. I did not realize she was dying even though she was so sick. In the denial of youth, I thought she would overcome her cancer and get better as she had before.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes
It was a dream in that it happened while I was asleep, but it was not fragmented or crazy like a dream would be.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: I was sad she was going to leave. I did not want her to go and was very upset that she was going to.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
I was so sad that she died and cried for many months afterwards, yet it has given me great hope to know that everything would eventually be OK just like Grandma said.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? Being able to reassure others that there is an afterlife. There is no worst part.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain Describe: I have always had a deep faith and view of spirituality- but this deepened it for sure.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes That life would be OK- and I wasn't sure of that when I was 13.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes It affirmed what I had always hoped- that there is life after death and that love still connects us in the absence of a physical body.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? Yes
I made the compact with my best friend. I did not have this compact with my Grandma.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was happy that she came to me yet at the same time, was equally confused that she did come to me rather than one of her children or my grandfather.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes, By the family's dog
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
It seemed like we were walking and talking together for quite a while but that it was but a fleeting moment here.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
That Grandma was here with us still. She has appeared to other family members since- even cousins who were too small to remember her.
Did you become aware of future events? Yes
Only in the abstract. That what happened here would eventually be made right much later and perhaps not even in this life.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain
I seem to have been born with this gift- but its not something I can "conjure" up. It only happens when my deceased loved ones have something they need to share with me.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
I looked like my body, but did not feel cold, rain, gravel under my feet. When I woke up, it was as if I had been dropped back into my body. I woke up with a huge breath inward and a feeling of shock.
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? Yes, At my Grandma's house.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes They were happy and incredulous and it gave them great hope in their own future.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes