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Lloyd R's ADC

Experience description:  

In September 2009, we had moved into a two bedroom in the same community when I had a small stroke and could no longer take care of Mary in our home.  She got sick a month later, had to go to the hospital and later to a nursing home, where she died on February 19, 2010.  I then moved into a one bedroom apartment in the same community.  I was living alone.  My bed was located so that I could see into the living room while lying down.  I had been sleeping and woke up.  The light from a fixture outside on the patio lightened the room enabling me to see into the room.  I looked out the bedroom door and saw my wife standing just outside the bedroom door looking in. She was  in a bluish dress.  She had a somber, almost sad expression. Then I guess I went back to sleep.  It was sharp and vivid and I was well aware of the details of my apartment.  I have no psychic ability.  We often spoke and read about life after death and agreed that whoever died first would contact the other if possible.  As a student nurse, she witnessed a mist-like substance leaving the head of a patient who died.  Her grandmother could see spirits, but was ridiculed so much when she told of them that she quit speaking of them.  In 1992, our 1 month old grandson died.  She said she sensed his presence on her shoulder.  In 2007, a male cousin she was close to dropped dead in his kitchen.  He was alone at the time.  She said she saw him walk through our family room after it happened.  I was hesitant to tell anyone about my experience, fearing their skepticism.  Finally, I told my sister and her husband.  His first wife died.  He said he saw her twice and one time she spoke to him.  I shared my experience with my barber  and was surprised to hear that her brother saw their mother after she died.  I believe Mary contacted me to assure me that she was all right.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

She appeared sad and still.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            She appeared solid, as though she were alive.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I saw all of her, but I don't recall looking at her feet.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       She appeared about the same age.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            She had no  infirmities, but in 2000 she had a hip replaced, but it wasn't apparent.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           There was a blue chair behind her, but she was clearly solid.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        About  10 seconds

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

She was sad and seeming to look into the room or beyond, and not directly at me.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Because Mary knew I questioned the beliefs of the Christian religion.  She did not.  And we had agreed to communicate, and I believe her experiences were real.  Also, it surprised me because I didn't think I would ever have such an experience.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Accepting but surprised that it would happen to me.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

Uncertain because I have experienced sudden death in my immediate several times, two brothers and my father when I was 12 and under.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was having it, the worst was not attempting to speak to her.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         N0 comment                        Describe:      It helped to convince me to move back to the home we shared.  When we were in the assisted living apartment, we were in bed one night, and I said ,"Mary I want to go back home."  She replied, "I do to."

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     As stated above.  Certain  Mary was trying to assure me that she was OK and that life after death was real.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     More certain of the afterlife, at least for some people.  I'm not certain that I am worthy, but I definitely do not believe one word of John 3:16, that we must believe Jesus is the son of God to gain eternal life.  The Christian religion is very outdated in my opinion.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

My wife and I did.  We often read about such experiences, attended one spiritualist service (We were baptized Presbyterian). We  studied reincarnation a lot and strongly believe it is a sensible way for people to progress and become worthy of rejoining the source of our being.  I say  "source" because I think the word "God" has too many unpleasant connotations to me.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain Only that I was living where I was when it happened.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Happy.  It was easier to accept her passing.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

Only what came into the room from outside where there was a patio light.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     Surprisingly, Some of them have had similar experiences. A friend, who is a nurse and an avowed atheist, said she had heard of others who had had experiences like that.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?            Yes

On 1 web site, but not in this much detail.

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I believe it was real.  I have never had such an experience before. I have had hallucinations after heart surgery, but they were of my living children.  I have dreamt of Mary since she passed away, but it was clearly a dream in which she was  a much younger adult.  My dreams are never as vivid as this experience was.  In fact they are normally a jumbled, mixed-up mess.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes