My heart has been very heavy since the death of my son. He was only 28 when he was killed instantly in a automobile accident. He was previously living in Georgia. Married and had a little boy of 2 1/2 years old. Finally reached a point in his life where he was totally happy. Good job, just bought their first home and moved in to it in November 2003. He was killed on Feb 6, 2004. Many struggles for them as a couple during his life until just recently, then it was taken all away.
Received the agonizing phone call from his wife on February 6, 2004 that he was killed in GA. We live in Minnesota. My life is now changed forever. I never even got to say good-bye it was like his was ripped away from this earth and the pain was unbearable.
Everyday I go on a walk during my lunch break. I was crying and praying very hard for a sign from God to let me know that my boy was okay. He didn't want to go. He loved his little boy so much and he was the best daddy. In fact he left early that day, February 6, to go home and play with his "little man". He was a very hard working young man, loved his wife, and served his country for six years as a Marine. So for a week I prayed and cried and prayed and cried. Then I decided that I was praying very selfishly and changed the way I was praying. So I prayed again for another week during my lunch. I really open up my heart to God and asked him if it was his will for me to receive a sign from him that my son is okay I would be able to go on because I would know he is in your arms and this deep ache in my stomach and heart could leave me. He was taken so suddenly and I never got to say good-bye and as a mother I NEED to know he is OKAY. I also said if it was not his will for a sign to be given then open up my heart so he can come in an take this terrible burden and grief away. I will accept whatever, but help me through this pain and give me peace that my son is okay.
Then Friday, April 16, I was alone going up to the cities to take care of my grandson. I was driving on the freeway (35N) by Clarks Grove, MN. I couldn't take it anymore and I finally said "God dam it, God, please give me a sign that my son is okay. Show me a Marine Truck. My son was in the Marines for six years. Never, ever show a Marine Truck before ever on my way up to the cities. So of course I was watching for this truck and of course there was no truck, so I finally forgot about it because I figured it wouldn't happen anyways. Then the miracle happen.
I wasn't even thinking about it anymore, my request that is. The traffic was getting very busy I was in the cities and all of a sudden I looked to my right for some reason and there it was "A MARINE TRUCK" it was right next to me, it was like I could reach out and touch it, but then it veered to the right and took the 494 exit and I would watch it go around the curve. It was the most beautiful site I've ever seen. I felt so at peace. I was so dumb founded after it happened all I could think of is "Wow, just think if I hadn't looked to my right I would of missed it."
By the time I reached my daughter's home I was balling. I was so emotionally happy that God gave me sign, but scared because I had to let go as I promised God in my prayers that I would do. Very emotional moment for me as I realized that my son is okay and in the arms of God. My heaviness has left my heart. Huge step in my healing process. But I am still sad. I miss him so, but it is a different kind of sadness. I am at peace knowing he is okay. All mothers out there who have lost a child can relate to the peace I have found in realizing that, but still need to work on the sadness, and emptiness. Sad for what kind of father and guidance he could of provided for his "little man" and the husband he could of been. He is truly missed. Guess the answer lies in opening our hearts and "Let God"
experience difficult to express in words?
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? Yes
How long did the experience last? Probably one minute
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? Gradual
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
I sensed God and Jay were telling me that Jay, my son is okay.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: The Marine Truck was use in another experience or sign from another family member on the day of the funeral. The Marine Truck seems to be a sign from my son. They are not that frequently seen. On his funeral, February 11, there was one seem in Albert Lea, MN now that is definitely not common.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: "WOW" there is a GOD, he does answer prayers and comforts those who mourn. Felt very thankful to God for giving me this sign, he knows as a mother how much I needed that.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
Yes, this was huge for me in my healing process as I was given a sign by God letting me know my son is okay. I never got to say good-bye so this truly helped me.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? Best part knowing my son, Jay is okay