My story:  I am a chiropractor who has had the honor of being at all four of my loved ones passing (last breaths for want of a better word).  These would be my mother in 1996, my father in 2000, my cat in 2001 and my significant other in 2006.  I have experienced all types of ADC's as described by Judy and Jim Guggenheim in their book Hello from Heaven.  Since my first ADC about an hour after my mother "transitioned", I have been hooked on this field and would actually like to switch careers and get heavily involved in writing/speaking about it, especially from the perspective of grief and healing i.e. - it's effect on physiology of loss.  I have read voraciously about 30 books on this subject and I cannot seem to get enough.  I also met Christine and Devorah over the phone after doing some initial research, both of whom state they know or have had personal contact with you.   

In March of 1996 my mother passed away due to pancreatic cancer.  Within an hour, I felt her 110 pound body sitting next to me.  She was this weight most of her life and I knew it was her.  Her birthday is August 6th (I speak in the present tense as she is still very much with me!) and I was in Arizona at a conference.  I went into a restaurant and sat down and at least two dozen cherry blossoms fell onto my plate without a wind or other patrons experiencing that.  She loved the color pink and cherry blossoms.  I have also had many readings with mediums where she has come through to compliment me on new clothing I purchased, reminding me to wear the jewelry in a specific area of the house and how much she likes the remodel job I did on the house which I inherited from her and my father.  I often feel her with me when I shop for shoes or clothes, she liked to go with me and was very bent on giving me her opinion.  I hear her so much in my ears, what she says telepathically.  She will often tell me that I am too hard on myself or that I need to have more fun.  This was so like her to say these things to me.  Having these experiences made my fear of death practically disappear and I also know that my vision of her suffering is an illusion.  She is fine and has made that known to me many times.  This has majorly assisted my grief process like no form of bereavement counseling could come close to.  Within one week of my mother's death, my father had a mini-stroke or a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) and lost full use of his left arm, his eyesight and his memory.  He often cried over my mother never fully getting over the loss of 42 years of marriage.  He did attend bereavement counseling and dated a few women but never was he more happy than with my mother and none of the women he dated came close to the class my mother had throughout her whole life to him and to the family which consisted of me and my brother Michael. 

In October of 2000 my father and I were present at my cousin's wedding in Atlanta, GA when he had a massive heart attack/stroke at the ceremony.  He lived 4 more days and died peacefully while I was by his side.  I was in much anguish then at the loss of both parents, both of whom I literally considered my best friends and was very close to.  Weeks before my father stated that he was feeling anxious as all his friends were "dying on him" and he seemed to be concerned that he would be next.  I think of this often as I ponder on the circumstances, almost like he knew something was going to happen.   

He was concerned about my retirement planning and would often speak to me of it.  I found a Westways magazine (AAA publication) that was just received a few days prior to his passing.  I put it to the side as I was preparing for his service for which I prepared a eulogy.  When I came home from work the magazine was turned to a page marked by a paper clip indicating an article on Retirement planning.  Upon questioning my boyfriend George, he stated that he did not even look at that magazine and knew nothing about it.  Dad at work here!  I also noticed a stick of Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum (he often chewed this during the day when he drove) near his van which was parked in front of my house.  The street was cleaned the day before and we had cleaned out dad's van.  Imagine my surprise when the perfectly placed piece of unwrapped gum lay in front of the van, .again Dad at work again.   

That December, George and I took a road trip to Colorado to go skiing.  While packing, my dad telepathically asked me "Honey, where are you going?"  I said "Dad, come on, you must know where I am going, don't you know everything from up there?"  He said "No, I really don't know"  in his half talking/half laughing style of communication.  He also used to come to my chiropractic office and hang out.  Since his passing, I have definitely seen apparitions of him around the tables and often felt him hugging me which he was so wont to do.  This has been invaluable in my healing. I feel much more at peace and able to carry on in life.  This does not mean I still don't have episodes of intense sadness but it is so much more manageable and the "charge" of the loss is more able to be emotionally handled.  This has occurred numerous times - I would say at least weekly - since he has passed.  I honestly feel very very honored and blessed to have such frequent contact with daddio. 

In November of 2001, my cat of 15 years had to be put down due to the second time having an intestinal tumor.  A few days later I heard his bell under the bed.  I thought I was hearing things but George said he heard it too.  I have also seen ghostly images of something small around the floor.  It feels familiar and I do sense it is Gus coming to visit and let me know he is okay.  As strange as it may sound, I do not have children and Gus was like my fur baby.  I was absolutely devastated when he died (as much if not more so than my parents) as he had experienced and been witness to so many things in my life , like a life partner of sorts.  So, it was like a huge person loss when he died.  I am sure many folks can resonate with this especially those that think of their pets as natural family members. 

In August of 2006, the love of my life, George, had a major heart attack, again unexpected , right in front of me on a beautiful Sunday morning.  I was numb, in massive grief and disbelief.  I sincerely felt like I wanted, myself, to die and just join him, .what was life worth living if I was not to spend the next 40 years with him?  At that point, we had been together for 10 years.  He was very metaphysically astute and read many books about death and dying along with quantum physics.  Often the books he read, I could not even begin to understand.  I always joked with George that he was so brilliant and was way ahead of his time and lived on another planet.  I sincerely still believe that this is true.  

Anyway, many ADC's have occurred surrounding the loss of George, starting with the fact that I decided to go to the Self-Realization Fellowship for his service, being told that I absolutely could not have the service there as I needed to either be a member or live in the community of Pacific Palisades, neither of which I was.  Also the day I wanted the service was unavailable due to the Maharishi having a special dedication on that day.  Within one day, that whole scenario changed and magically I was allowed to be on the grounds and on that exact day I desired for the service, i.e., the date of the Maharishi had changed and now I was given access to the facilities there.  

 I also looked up at the sky and saw George's face with a huge "thumbs up" sign, .that was my clue that I was onto something here.  I have smelled his cologne, heard his voice call "Honey!" from the other room, felt him pinch my left arm and shoulder while sleeping and my cat, Bucci, who is like a reincarnation of my cat Gus, look all over the room and meow like he did when George was in the room.   

Get this:  the lights in my computer room would go off and on like crazy and there was absolutely no explanation of it.  This occurred many times when we were having guests over after the services in the ensuing days.  Also, the computer screen started to turn blue and purple and wavy lines would appear, again, nothing like this ever happened before when he was alive.  Also, the fan in the room would violently twirl often in the morning when I woke up, .after turning it off and the lights off, they would just proceed to go on again, .he wanted me to know he was there.  I would say out loud "Yes, honey, I know you are there!".   

Twice a male friend came over and hugged me goodbye and the lights (this time in the living room) started to go crazy, .off/on, off/on like children playing with the controls, .again, this had never happened before and stopped when my friend left.  In short, all of these experiences, especially with George being the 4th passing of significance and practically my spouse after 10 years, has left me with much proof of life after death.   

If there is anyway to assist or participate in any academic or other writings/circles you do, I would be most pleased.  My background is a chiropractic doctor for the past 12 years and a Health Educator prior to this.   I am intent on writing my own book on Grief and Healing and eventually think a retreat center for grief that would involve concepts of experiential healing is something I envision is needed on the planet and one I want to be a definite creator and part of. 

Was this experience difficult to express in words? 

No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?           

No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         

Yes

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? 

INSIDE OF ME, TELEPATHICALLY AND IN MY HEAD

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?          

SAME EXACT

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?          

NO WAY

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  

NO

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?           

Yes

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?  

FAMILIAR

            Was anything communicated by the touch? 

LOVE, YOU WILL BE OKAY WAS MESSAGE

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? 

NO WAY

Did you see the deceased?        

Yes

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            FACE APPARITION

            How much of the deceased did you see?       FACE

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       SAME AGE, HEALTHY

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            THEY WERE HEALTHY AT TIME OF DEATH OR SO WE THOUGHT, IE NOT SICK PRIOR TO HEART ATTACK EPISODE

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           NO WAY

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?     

Yes

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?    

YES

            Was anything communicated by the smell?  

I AM HERE

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?       

NO WAY

How long did the experience last?       

ABOUT 30 SECONDS

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        

SUDDEN

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          

Uncertain

GEORGE WAS NOT PRONE TO SHARE EMOTIONS MUCH, SO NOT SURE IF THIS IS HIM OR ME.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

NO

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

Experience was definitely real

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  

No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          

ANGUISH, LIKE GOING DOWN A BLACK HOLE

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          

Yes

UTTER PANIC PRIOR, AFTER A LOT CALMER AND MORE IN CONTROL.  I HAVE HAD SEVERAL BREAKDOWNS TO BE HONEST BUT EACH ADC IS VERY WELCOME AND REMINDS ME TO BE GRATEFUL AND WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     

BEST - LIFE PURPOSE REVEALED, WORST - I CAN'T SEEM TO MANIFEST THE DESIRE TO DO THE WRITING AND RETREAT WORKSHOP FINANCIALLY LIKE I WOULD LIKE SO FOR NOW I NEED TO STICK WITH MY PRACTICE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE AND DO THE GRIEF WRITING, RESEARCHING AND RETREAT CENTER ON THE SIDE.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?        

Yes                 Describe:           

CAREER, .SEE STORY

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     LESS SCARED OF DEATH

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?           

Yes     I WANT TO BE A RESEARCHER AND WRITER IN THIS FIELD, .I AM VERY INTERESTED IN SWITCHING GEARS PROFESSIONALLY, CURRENTLY WORKING ON A BOOK ON GRIEF AND HEALING AND A RETREAT CENTER, WANT TO TALK?

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?       

Yes

AS METAPHYSICAL AS GEORGE WAS, HE DID NOT ENGAGE MUCH IN AFTERLIFE TALK, BUT I DID ASK HIM TO TELL ME IF HE WENT FIRST AND GIVE ME A SIGN, WHICH HE HAS DONE SEVERAL TIMES, I DID NOT DELINEATE THE SIGN HE SHOULD GIVE ME.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         

No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?           

I CAN LIVE AND STILL BE AT PEACE

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          

No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  

Yes

TIME SEEMED TO STAND STILL

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   

Yes

I FELT LIKE I WAS AN AGENT OF GOD AND WAS CHOSEN TO BE ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO EXPERIENCE ADC'S AS PART OF MY REGULAR DAYS OF MY LIFE, JUST EXPERIENCED TWO THIS MORNING

Did you become aware of future events?      

No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

JUST MORE ADC'S OCCURRING THAN WHEN EITHER PARENT OR CAT DIED.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    

No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?           

No

Did you see a light?          

No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?           

No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     PEOPLE ARE NOT OPEN MOSTLY, THOSE THAT ARE A GREAT HELP

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?           

Yes

Dr. LaGrand, .I am impressed with all of the books you have written, .I admire you immensely for your ability to report when you yourself were a skeptic and for your continued presence in this field, .we need more folks like you, ,

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?      

I WOULD LOVE TO BE INVOLVED WITH ANYTHING YOU FOLKS DO, , VERY VERY INTERESTED IN BEING ON YOUR TEAM AND GETTING THIS STUFF OUT TO THE PUBLIC, CRITICAL FOR THE PLANET AT LARGE.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?        

No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?          

Yes 

OUT OF BODY WHEN I WAS 17, WAS AT A SPA AND HAD A BODY WRAP AND LEFT MY BODY AND WAS WATCHING IT FROM A CORNER OF THE ROOM, ALSO, FELL ASLEEP NAPPING AND SAME EXPERIENCE, FELT A JERK WHEN GOT BACK IN MY BODY, NO ASTRAL TRAVEL OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT THAT I CAN REMEMBER.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?              

Yes

PLEASE SEE STORY, THERE ARE MORE ADC'S AND HAPPY TO FLESH OUT MORE DETAILS (NO PUN INTENDED!_ 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.   

GREAT AND THOROUGH QUESTIONNAIRE, HOW ABOUT HOW FOLKS HEALTH HAS BEEN SINCE LOSS?  HOW ABOUT IF GRIEVER GOT SICK IN SIMILAR WAY SINCE LOSS?  THERE IS A UNIQUE CONNECTION WITH GRIEVER GETTING AS ILL IF NOT MORE ILL CARETAKING AND AFTER LOSS.  ALSO, WHAT ARE FOLKS DOING CONSTRUCTIVELY TO ASSIST THEMSELVES WITH THE LOSS OUTSIDE OF THE ADC EXPERIENCE WHICH FOR ME HAS BEEN MONUMENTAL IN MY GRIEF HEALING.