My grandfather died December 3, 1994.
He had open heart surgery in September, in which he died on the table and returned to life, solely (to my strong belief) based on the urgency of prayers. He was never the same and died three months later, after, again, the urgency of prayers, wishing him a fast departure to end his suffering.
Oh! My beloved grandfather! I had never lost anyone who meant so much to me and was so heavily a part of my life, all my life. He helped my husband and I out, (we were married 5 years at the time, still married) and we were always at my grandparent's (my grandmother is still alive) house (they lived not even a mile away). He was my 4 year old son's best buddy. I had a new daughter at the time, born in June, only 6 months old when grandpa died.
One night about three or four months after his death, I had a dream. In the dream it was me, my son and my daughter. We were attending a family reunion, (common to our family, extended potluck reunion in small towns with old folks reminiscing). My children and I walked up several flights of stairs to the top of a building, one that is familiar to me. Upon entering a large, empty room, there sat my grandfather on a folding chair. I was so happy to see him! I ran to him with my children and sat my baby on his lap. "Grandpa," I said, "I am so happy to see you! Look how my children have grown! Look at Mija (my daughter)!" He took Mija from me and held her on his lap. He played with my kids as I sat next to him in the chair. We spent time together, I knew that he had come specifically
to see me and my children. I woke myself up crying.
I had another dream soon after. I was running through my grandparent's living room, again, at another family reunion-type gathering. There sat my grandfather by the fireplace on a folding chair. I stopped dead in my tracks and ran to him, crying. I sat at the foot of his chair and he told me, as I cried, and he stroked my head:
"I will always be with you, all you have to do is ask for me." He told me he would never leave me. I woke myself crying that night as well.
I had another dream, when I graduated from college, in which my grandfather, again sitting on a folding chair, was in the front row of the audience gathered to watch the graduation ceremony, and another dream, when I was about to make a major job transition, it was very stressful for me:
In the last dream I had where I knew that Grandpa had come to visit me, I was in their driveway, and there was a tornado coming. I went into their garage, and my grandfather was standing there in a sleeveless t-shirt. I ran to him, and asked him about my job, and what I was to do. (I was being forced to transfer from one department to another). He told me "The doors are open to you", which set my mind clear on what I was to do. I would transfer to the new department and not fight it. Again, I woke myself up crying.
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes
My certainty that it was more than just a dream, extremely strong emotions that went with the experience
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? In these dreams, I knew, in my deepest soul, that my grandfather had come to see me. I knew because I had a dream, and dreams after these experiences, where my grandfather is in them, but they are not the same.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No, they did not feel like dreams. They felt very real. My husband says he knows when I am dreaming about my grandfather because my body becomes very animated
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Such incredible emotions, I can't describe. Feelings of love and being love, enveloped in my grandfather's love. Such profound feelings of loss when I realize I am dreaming that even as I write this I am sobbing.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? no.
LOCATION DESCRIPTION: Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures? Yes
All of my encounters with my grandfather have been in places where I would have been with him at one point in time, place of great comfort to me, places that are very non-threatening. And also in situations that are very comforting and familiar to me
Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No
When Grandpa died the first time, on the table after his first heart attack, my mother
(his daughter) was in the chapel across from the operating room with the surgeon, her brother (my uncle), my dad, and my grandma. When the nurse came to tell the surgeon that my grandfather was coding, my mother said an incredible thing happened to her. She said she felt the spirit of my grandfather enter her and tell her how much he loved her. My mother is a very cynical, skeptical person, not overly sentimental, nor spiritual at the time. She said she could feel it when his spirit left. That was when the surgeon brought him back to life.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?
Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes
I could feel him touching me. I could feel myself touching him. I could smell him. I could see him! Not a shadow, not a picture, not obscured by anything or in dim light. He was there!
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
Yes. I knew that my grandfather had come to me when he knew he could reach me the best: in my sleep, when I would be open to him coming.
Did you become aware of future events? Yes
The last dream where he visited me, I knew that he had pointed me in a direction when I was at a crossroads in my life.
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? No
Always woke myself up crying. If I could have, I would have stopped myself from crying to stay longer with him.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
I know that God is good. That God allowed my grandfather to come and visit me. I know there is life after death. I am not afraid to go. I know that my grandfather watches over me. I know he knows about the lives of the ones he left behind. I only wish he would come to me more often, in a "Six Feet Under" sort of way. I wish he would visit my mother and my grandmother.
How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? I accepted the career move pushed upon me after my last visit from my grandfather (5 years ago). It actually cleared the way for me to become a minister in my home church.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
Many of the people I go to church with think it's baloney, or heresy, that I am reading more into dreams than really could happen. Others think it's cool and wish they could have experiences like mine.
What emotions did you experience following your experience?
Extreme sadness that my time spent with my grandfather in these dreams was so short, that he was really gone, and the wonder of the fact that he actually came to me. He loves me so much that he would come to see me!
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part of the experience is the love. The absolute knowledge of his love for me. The absolute worst part is the fact that he's physically gone. That I can't just "conjure" him up whenever I feel like it. It's the deepest pit of sadness I've ever felt in my life.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes