It was about two and half months after my Mother's death and although I grieved for her terribly I wasn't thinking about her that evening when I went to bed.  Shortly before dawn I awoke suddenly to see what looked like mist or smoke in the corner of the room opposite the foot of my bed.  I quickly sat up thinking maybe there was a fire...but then suddenly the mist/smoke began to move toward me and as it got within arms reach it cleared and there was my Mom wearing the dress she wore to my wedding, looking beautiful. All the ugliness and pain of her cancer was gone and she looked young again.  She smiled and then reached out and took my face in her hands (and I felt her hands on my cheeks) and said, "It's OK baby"...then in an instant she was gone.  I was wide awake and in shock!  I could think of nothing else for weeks and I cried every time I thought about it...but I was too afraid to tell anyone.  I know she came to me to let me know she was alright.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Uncertain

I was afraid no one would believe me or that they'd think I was crazy.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    She said "It's OK baby"

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  Outside of me

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It sounded the same as when she was alive

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No I was completely alone.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

My face

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Very familiar

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  I felt her love

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

When she died she had shrunk to about 85 pounds...just skin stretched over bone like a skeleton.  When she appeared to me she was her pre-cancer self, beautiful healthy and her hair was as black as when she was a young woman.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            solid

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I saw her entire body except her feet

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       She died at 64 but she appeared to me as she was 10 years earlier

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            She appeared very healthy, not at all like the cancer ridden shell she was immediately before her death

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           Absolutely not

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        seconds

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         It was gradual...first I woke up , then I saw the mist or smoke, then it moved toward me and then I saw her...she cupped my face in her hands and then she spoke and was gone in an instant.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

She seemed radiant and happy!

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  She just said "It's OK baby"

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I was fully awake, I felt her hands on my face and have felt her hand again since that time.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I didn't have time to feel anything...afterward I cried because of the joy of seeing her so happy and whole and that she came to me.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes  It was easier for me to let go

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      That it was over before I could ask her anything and that I was afraid to tell anyone.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:            Many coincidental wonderful things have happened to me since she passed away and it has deepened my faith.
        
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?          I felt safer somehow, as if she was watching over me and pulling strings in heaven on my behalf to make my life more secure.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?                  Well, I believe there is life after death but I don't have a real firm understanding of it...just that God has a plan for us.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Fear that others would think me crazy but I was elated to have seen her

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I experienced her presence again about ten years later when at age 50 I moved into the first home I ever owned.  I was tired and laid down on the couch to relax, with my arms over my head resting on a cushion.  Suddenly I felt a woman's hand take my hand and gently squeeze it.  It was as if she said to me..."you have a home finally and you'll be ok"!  I knew it was Mom, but when I turned around no one was there.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     Strangely enough most people seemed to accept it and even shared their own similar experiences.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I always felt a kind of connection to my Mom that couldn't be explained.  As a young woman I was involved in a tragedy where a friend died and I was with him.  That night my Mom dreamed about me and that I was covered in blood.  When she heard about the incident the next day...she wasn't surprised.  Also, each of us always knew when the other was on the phone even before we spoke.  The morning she died I woke up, and felt something flutter by the bedroom window...I even pulled back the curtain to look...and at that moment the phone rang and it was the hospital saying she had just passed away... I think her spirit flew by my window on her way to heaven.  One day just before she died she asked me to do her hair because she said she was having company that night.  when I asked who was coming...she said, "your father of course".  Dad had been dead for 11 years!! She also stared into a corner of her hospital room and several times said "who is that waiting for me in the corner".  There was no one in the corner!

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

As a child I remember saying to my parents "I'm outside myself" but I don't remember where I was or anything else about the experience.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I think it might help to know if other family members have had similar experiences because when I finally told my brother about this he was very nonchalant and told me that he had a Near Death Experience and died on the operating table during a ruptured Ilium in his 30s.  He heard and saw everything going on below him in the operating room and remembered flying over meadows of beautiful flowers before he heard his wife calling and was suddenly jerked back into his body. I think maybe there is something inherited in us that we have had these experiences.