Marilyn M's ADC

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Experience description:  

It was Sunday afternoon. I knew my brother was back in intensive care as my mother had called and told me this a couple of days prior. I had no thought, sensation of any kind previous to her phone call Sunday afternoon to tell me David had died.  I had no feeling or thoughts to express to her. told her I didn't know what to say. Got off the phone I felt sad.  I don't know how long it was that I simply had no direction to go in. didn't know what to do with myself. It came to my mind to take a shower. I guess that's because it's a warm comforting thing for me. 

I was in the shower, trying to have some kind of feeling over the death of David. A slight electricity kind of feeling went over my body...I heard voices laughing, talking excitedly, in a dream sort of way. what I call an awake dream...I saw David and Lucien. the image was in a kind of bright white fog or haze. I sensed more than heard that David was very happy. Lucien was happy and excited, wanted to show David things. I got the feeling this little stop to see me was just one as he hurried David along. I can't get over how happy David was. I said I wished I could see him more clearly. but I couldn't Lucien was anxious for them to get going and David was excited to go. Then he was gone. I felt he had left completely...even at the funeral on Saturday I did not think he was there at all. I thought this was all just wishful thinking on my part until I spoke to my sister Diane Saturday evening, she told me of dreaming she was in the room with him at the time he died and she told him it was okay to go and that he should go find Lucien. Of all the people for either of us to be thinking of we both thought of Lucien.

Background Information:

Date of experience:           David and Lucien 11/24/02

Length of time between death of deceased and your experience:          a few hours after David's death

Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience:  taking a shower in my home

Degree of bereavement for deceased immediately prior to the experience:     Slight sadness and/or grief feelings

Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:         Slightly drowsy

Have you had multiple experiences?   Uncertain     

Was this experience difficult to express in words?          No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  in my ears...not outside or inside..it was in my ears

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           David, it was his voice

Lucien, it has been to long to remember what his voice used to sound like

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Uncertain

The electricity feeling

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   familiar..I've felt it before..that's all I know

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  no, just got my attention for what followed

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

David, He looked much healthier than at the time of his death though he had the same hair, beard, he was wearing a red plaid shirt..though most of his pictures show him in a blue one

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            David and Lucien, surrounded in a white haze

            How much of the deceased did you see?       David, from the knees up

Lucien, from about the waist up and off to the side

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       David, seemed healthier, maybe younger

Lucien, uncertain, could not see him as clearly

           
How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            very healthy, both of them

           
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           NO

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        Maybe about 5 to 10 minutes

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         more sudden though not completely..it crept up on me..I became aware that he was there..and then it faded away though I was still trying to see more clearly

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Yes, he was very happy and excited and anxious to move on.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          It seemed very real at the time, but afterwards I began to think it was wishful thinking. After talking to my sister I began to think it definitely was real, but as time goes on I start to wonder again.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

It is what I call an awake dream...which I do have occasionally

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I was caught up in how happy and excited they both were

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

I don't know, as I said I felt happy afterwards and then again when talking to my sister...I guess there was

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Worst was that I felt annoyed that I couldn't seem them more clearly. Best was how happy he was...most of his life he had seemed unhappy to me...thus the reason for my thinking it was wishful thinking.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I was happy...just happy

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Uncertain

My sister in Oklahoma who I had no contact with for about two weeks, had a very similar experience, she was in the shower in the am and dreamed that she was there when the machines were turned off and my brother was dying through to when he died.

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain

I've occasionally had an "awareness" through out my life though never seemed to be significant.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Uncertain

David was with Lucien

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

It was bright and hazy all around them

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes

My sister seems to be in familiar territory with experiences of this kind, everyone else just listened...maybe they thought I was a nut.

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

Several years ago, I would have reoccurring dreams where I rose out of my body. I don't have these any more.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes