I have had such an experience twice, the first with my grandmother dying of Alzheimer's, which I will include in a separate form, but this has been the most significant to me as it was my partner. Technically he had not died yet but I have been unable to find a more similar type of organization where I can relate such an experience.
On March 26, 2010, on his way to work at his law firm, he accidentally pulled in front of an oncoming car and was struck with full force. I have been told from the amount of blood he lost he was technically dead when help got to him but was brought back in the emergency room, then after surgery put in a medicated coma because of the severity of his injuries. Chances of recovery were put at 50/50 at this time leaning toward good so I believe I had little expectation that he would not pull through.
Then about three days before his official passing, I had a dream where he appeared to me at the door to my place, looking radiantly healthy and smiling widely. I invited him in and exclaimed with surprise telling him last I saw him he was in such bad shape, which he laughed off and said doctors don't know what they're talking about, typical sarcastic humor for him. The scenario then changed and it appeared to be the bedroom of his place. He got more serious and we lay on the bed together, looking at each other as if a last chance to embrace. I cannot remember what he said but I just have the impression that he was explaining to me why he was going to have to leave and that there was a reason I shouldn't remember the exact details. That is all I can remember about this dream. I awoke feeling terribly sad as I had not had such a dream with him before and it was all too similar to the one I had had upon my grandmother's passing many years before.
I came to the hospital
that morning to find he had had a severe downturn during that very evening, and
a few hours later he went into cardiac arrest. At that moment his eyes opened
dramatically - they had been shut the whole time under medication- and I had the
haunting feeling it was his last look at the world, but was told it was just a
reflex. After about 40 minutes of resuscitation, the body was brought back but
it was uncertain his brain had survived. He looked lifeless and unmoving though,
as opposed to having been moving before the cardiac arrest. Organs continued to
fail over the next two days, and on the final day when a test was done on his
brain it was shown a blood clot had traveled from his heart and he was brain
dead, but I believe he had really chosen to leave that day of the cardiac arrest
right after appearing in my dream.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: The only definite words were to tell me he was ok and doctors don't know what they're doing.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? It seemed to come from him as he was speaking in my dream.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? It was exactly the same.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? It was in a dream.
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
I believe he was holding my hands.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? I didn't get an impression of that.
Was anything communicated by the touch? It was tenderness to show how much he cared and reassure me as he had to leave.
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? It was in the dream.
Did you see the deceased? Yes
He was dressed in his typical way, casual.
How clearly did the deceased appear? solid
How much of the deceased did you see? all of him
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? same age
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? very healthy, glowing, complete contrast to his actual condition in the hospital.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? it was a dream state.
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? hard to say, time doesn't seem to exist in a dream.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? gradual, had the feeling there might have been more to it I don't remember
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
Ecstatically happy, confident
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? It was only an impression he was giving me reasons for his passing which I would not be allowed to take with me out of the dream state
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was probably real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: It seems beyond coincidence for such a thing to happen the night before the cardiac arrest when he might have really died in brain, especially after the experience with my grandmother delivering a similar message.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes
It was in a dream state, surroundings melted away and were replaced by others.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: at first astonished that he appeared so healthy, I apparently didn't realize I was dreaming and reacted as if he had shown up at my door, then a feeling of melancholy as we lay on the bed.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain
Not until after he was officially deceased, then felt there may have been some necessity to the passing and I would have to deal with it, especially since he had possibly come to me to prepare me for the blow, not wanting me suffer for it. The postscript to that is that I also had the feeling afterward he had provided for me in some way, so that I would not be sad to have lost the only one I really loved like that. Only 3 months later I met someone I am still with today and though not the same, believe this is as strong a love. It was difficult to be able to accept this as I felt it was too soon, but many signs between the both of us pointed to the fact that we had been brought together to love each other, as I later learned his grandmother whom he loved dearly passed away approximately the same time, she had many of the same interests as Ryan, and we both had the impression our deceased loved ones had conspired from beyond to bring us together as a final act of love and healing.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best was some reassurance he continues on in some other plane of reality, the worst the foreknowledge that we were about to lose him.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Describe: I did lose my soulmate, the person I loved most for almost 4 years, which was devastating, followed by finding love again and the realization that it is possible to have more than one soulmate, that perhaps we are more than just individuals and we are all one soul.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes A stronger sense of the reality of the afterlife, changed from a good amount of skepticism.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes I have the impression there is a purpose to everything, even apparent accidents, that we cannot know until we are ready. I have since heard similar experiences from others and how happy their loved ones seem to appear in the beyond, so that we should not grieve for them, as they have only lost a body.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? fearful, anxious about what might happen next, his predicted passing.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Uncertain
I cannot say that he did not appear to others in dreams as I simply did not hear this experienced by anyone close to him, but I did not ask either.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
Surroundings melted into each other, time didn't seem to exist.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
As described above, an impression Ryan had conveyed special knowledge about the beyond and his future.
Did you become aware of future events? Yes
The whole dream experience seemed to tell me he would be passing on shortly, which did happen the very next day to three days.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain
I have always had minor psychic abilities, from being able to predict some future events to predictive dreams such as this one and about my grandmother.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? No
Did you see a light? Uncertain It is not something I can remember.
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? No
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes I let his mother know this story right after his official death, as she was devastated by his bedside holding his hand, to try to give her some reassurance he appeared happy and would live on in some way. She laughed a little to hear his comment on how doctors don't know anything, as if it sounded familiar. I have let other friends know as well.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Uncertain
I have had some dreams where it seemed I was floating out of my body but cannot say whether it was just a dream or an actual state.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
I believe they flesh out in enough detail the importance of this experience.
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. I can't think of anything else