I was falling asleep and all of a sudden I felt this very strong pull of emotion from my body the pain was beyond description, I  could not swallow it was as if all at once I could, taste, smell, feel all emotions, and it was my mother I could feel her with me, the sadness of feeling her so strong was almost too much to bare and then I asked her, without speaking, "Mom is this really you" and she showed me her face, although she was much younger, a big smile, I felt incredible warmth go through my body as if she were showing me she was there and I can't explain how I felt, but I started to just cry uncontrollably and then something happened, a very strong feeling, an urge to compose myself and focus, she was telling me to come with her, although I could only see her face, she was pulling me sort of with my conscious, it's okay she said, I'm here, come on... and so it felt as if every core of my being was working on this, every cell in my body was somehow focused on focusing, hard to explain,,, 

I got the feeling it was really hard for her to be with me and that it took a lot for her to be with me like this, and it was hard for me. She took me to a stream I couldn't see much but it was dark blurry almost, but I could see as if looking through a clean part of a dirty window is the only way I can explain it.  I could feel other people around us but I could not see anyone, I could sense they were not happy that I was there at all.  My mom pulled my hand to come with her but I could not actually see her touch my hand or anything I just could feel it sense it.  

She started to show me vignette  sort of scenes of things, first she showed me her sisters apartment and some silk flowers she pointed to them and said, " These are mine from my house, I like them" and smiled then she showed me a very small miniature tree on a shelf in her sisters living room and again smiled and said, " I like it" and then she pulled me to the front door and leaned over and emphasized and pointed very strongly and said, " I like the NEW door matt, I like it a lot", she then said, "tell Lynn I listen to her stare at her bedroom ceiling at night and talk to herself and answer herself, and in the car she makes me laugh". 

The next vignette she showed me was my sister Stacey on her back deck and a pinecone near her feet, she said, "tell Stacey YES, I did that and she has enough pine cones, she doesn't need any more".  The next vignette was her other sister Christina, she pointed to two small candles and a round bowl in the middle with HER (my mothers picture behind them on a table), she likes it she said, and she said she also likes the painting she is working on with the beautiful blues in the background it reminds her of the  ocean and the pink hues she added and muted greens are beautiful.  She said to tell Christina she can hear her when she talks to her and to tell her to "stop concerning herself with others and to just get past it". 

The next vignette I saw was her older sister sitting on the top of hillside overlooking a valley of some sort, in Italy, she showed me a blue butterfly landing on her sisters forearm and said, "Tell Florence I was there, and she knew it when the blue butterfly landed on her arm", she then pulled me to see her sisters upper right back shoulder area, there was a bulge and she pointed strongly, and said, see this, tell Florence I see this.  She also said to tell Florence she didn't mean to say the things she did, she was very sick and medicated and she is sorry she hurt her so deeply.   

I felt like I was not able to hold on and stay with my mom it was very difficult and that we were leaving each other being pulled away, so I asked her with my mind, Mom you said if you could come back you would give me a sign and she told me she did and smiled. She showed me the number 512 she was strongly making sure I saw it and was firm in making sure I got the number.   I could feel her overwhelming love pour through me just as much as it did when she first came, I got up from bed went and picked up a pad and started writing down what I could remember and that was it, she was gone.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?            Yes

I was consciously aware that my mother was not speaking to me in a voice but in my mind, and the same for me I was speaking through my mind, no voice, but I was very aware of how difficult it was for her to communicate to me and to comfort me, it was very strong the emotions, I could feel her go through me almost absorb me.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I described it above

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  sense of knowing what was communicated, no voice, no sound

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           NO

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   NO

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

I could feel something go through my body flow a sense of conscious very STRONG a  presence

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   unfamiliar never felt anything like this before

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Love strong very strong, that I was NOT alone

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  NO the entire house was quiet, nothing was on, dark around 2:45am

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

She was a lot younger maybe even a teen very youthful in appearance

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            in and out as if looking at her through a clean part of a dirty window that I cleared to see out of

            How much of the deceased did you see?       just the face, not even hair, just the facial features

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       Not appeared to be her age, much, much younger, maybe 15 or so

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Healthy, young, before my mother died she was very sick, for years bad deformed hands and feet from rheumatoid arthritis, I could only see her much younger face, no body

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           absolutely NOT

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        almost an hour

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Beginning of the experience was a pulling gradual and the end was very sudden, no goodbye just she was gone

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

I could sense very STRONG emotions, very very strong passing through me

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  YES, described in experience above, all information was verified as true when I told the people who she spoke about, they were beyond shocked at the accuracy, as was I .

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I believe it was very real because I the things my mother told me in the experience were all verified as to have happened in the previous days prior to her coming to me.  If not for that I would think I was just crazy.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

I was starting to fall asleep, yet once it started I was dreaming but awake laying in bed.             

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Overwhelming pull of being taken and lifted to a different conscious level overwhelming feelings of warmth, love, safety, being pulled and as if something was inside my mind, conscious directing me to be in a certain state so I could experience being with my mom, that is the best I can do to describe it.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

Yes I no longer feel as if I have lost my mother and my closest friend, I feel it is okay to be sad, and that she never really left she is just in a new place and that I was okay now.  I also felt that from this that I can believe in the after life, because before this I was actually angry that she promised if there was she would send me a sign a strong one, that could not be misconstrued; and she did. So I believe now.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best part was the overwhelming sense and feeling of being at one, and the love from my mother, the worst was the other beings I felt they didn't like me being there and were very scorn and had it not been for my mothers protection over me they may have harmed me, or scared me in some way.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            Not really, it just happened a week ago

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   N0 comment            Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     afterlife, not sure what it is , some sort of conscious level, but what she told me I could have never known so I believe it is possible for the dead to communicate

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

YES, my mother believed strongly in life after death and psychic ability, she promised to send me a sign, it was one of the last things we spoke about as she was dying, and she cried looking into my eyes telling me that she would send me a sign.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes I called them on the phone and told them to please let me tell them what mom said in this dream before they spoke to me, and they then expressed the truth in what she said.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            A sense that everything I was ever afraid of was not worth being afraid of and that everything was going to be okay, a sense of well being, a strong sense of well being.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Altered space, it was more a different level, dimension, or consciousness.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes

She told me firmly the number 512.  She was showing me this number strongly and I am not sure what it is because the experience ended right after she showed me this number, she pointed to it, and her face was serious and demanding that I remember it.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I think so, but I don't really know what that is.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   Uncertain

I couldn't see them in detail but I knew they were there when she first showed herself to me and pulled me into her environment, they were not happy and I could here there unhappiness in my mind, and she kept me close to her and didn't care that they were mad at her for bringing me over to her side.

Did you see a light?           Yes

The light was around her face and then here and there a light like a flashlight would flash in the background, I took this as to be the other people that I could not see but feel them.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            Yes

AS I described she showed me vignettes of peoples lives, otherwise we were in this somewhat cloudy darkened area, standing by a stream in her world I am guessing.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     They strongly believe that it was her because of what she told me they are convinced she came to me.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I have not shared it with my live in boyfriend because I know he will not believe me, just those in the dream like experience that she said things about.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

I was in a near fatal car accident at age 19, the night before I had a dream about it and did not want to go on this business car trip, I told my mother about it before I left, and when it happened, I was the passenger, I was shocked because my dream came true.  Also I had a few dreams of major world catastrophes that I shared with others and when they happened it was very weird.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

To the best of my ability I have described what I experienced. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    No it was much more in depth then I ever thought, it is not something that is easy to explain, the questions helped to break it down.