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Martha B's ADC

Experience description:  

oh, but I had an auditory experience once . .just a week or so after Kathy died, I was in bed - but fully awake - had just climbed in - lights were on . ..and, I said out loud . ."OH, I wish I could just say HI to her . .." in a very lamenting tone as I was really hurting . .just then, I clearly heard "HI' in her happy voice . . .I don't know if I heard it out loud or just in my head . .only happened that once . . . 

I have had other dreams of her - none as vivid as the one described above - several where I would tell you "You aren't supposed to be here - one of us is dead, and it's not me" . .and other dreams where I would reach out and touch her - she would be solid . .in one dream it was like I was joining her . .I had been on a long road with all these people . .and she said "I'm glad to see you . . I have to tell you , we won't be together in the next life, but we'll have many more lives together".  ..in one, it was like the one with Robert . .I was with a bunch of friends and I said "if Kathy can send us a sign, my bathrobe sash will tie itself (it was hanging open) . .and, like a Disney movie, the sash ends danced into a perfect bow . .and I laughed . . .

Was the date of the experience significant in any way?     Wendy - shortly after she died

Charlie - shortly after he died

cats - near the time I dreamt of Charlie - maybe same night

Robert - my friend Kathy (yes, the one who died) called me as I was out of town on the day Robert died - well, he died at midnight and she called me the next morning . . I had TWO dreams that seemed to be from him that first night after I got the call

Kathy - - I had an auditory experience  a couple weeks after she passed  - I had the most vivid dream the night after her service - I had spoken there

Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience:  Wendy - - she appeared to me in a dream in a red jacket she often wore - -she just looked at me with a sad smile . . .this was in a dream 

Charlie - he appeared to me in a dream and had a message for his widow . . .he told me (not sure if he spoke or I just knew) he knew she was having trouble sleeping and asked me to let her know he knew this and that he was trying to lure her back to bed with the scent of popcorn . . .  

in my dream with my cats - it was very real - - I knew I was dreaming . .I just hugged them and hugged them because I missed them sooooo much and I thought this might be a one-time chance . . in this dream, I remember talking to my mother (she is still alive) and saying . . ."see, we can make contact when we die" 

Kathy - I had a dream . .this one was the most vivid dream I have ever had in my life by a long shot . .it totally felt REAL . . .it was the night after her service . ..I remember feeling like someone was moving my legs around . .(I swear - I had a guest over and I told him if he had come into my room then, I'm sure he would have seen my legs moving around . . .this is interesting as I later learned her fianc� had this leg-movement experience once, too, and thought it was from her) . .I KNEW at that moment that it was Kathy giving me some evidence that she was still around (she and I had talked about it a lot) . ..then, in my dream, I noticed I was in a big bed with a metal headboard and metal frame at the bottom . .I was in a typical Sonoma County scene - in a meadow with a rolling hill in the distance with a big spreading Oak Tree. . .it was dusk . .all of a sudden Kathy popped up from under the covers - sort of right in my face . .I was soooo amazed and astonished at not just seeing her but also getting info that death is not the end .  .we just hugged and hugged and she was all happy and laughing and looked like this picture I had seen of her from a time before I knew her - younger (maybe 30?) -

I asked her "whatever happened?" . .she asked me "have you even been in a party with a lot of people - and you look around but you only take in about 25% of what is going on??" I said, "yeah . .." and she said "that is what happened" (which I took to mean she was unaware that this truck was turning) . .after a few minutes I thought I better ask her anything I can as she might not be able to stay . .so I told her her son and mother were doing "OK" . .she didn't say anything, but I got a sense of her saying - yeah, she knew that -  .  ..we had not been able to find a will which I thought she had made, so I asked her if there was one . .and, I got ' you guys are doing ok' - which I took to mean there wasn't one or it was not relevant . . .(her son and her mother and her fianc� and myself all pretty much knew her wishes)

then she started to drift away . .I was in such awe and I was starting to cry and it was like I was awake even though I guess I wasn't . .and then she started to come back in patches - like in the transporter in Star Trek - and then she laughed and said "I forgot to hug you good-bye" and she "scampered" over and hugged me really well . .and then she was gone . .this last bit was something she did often when we said good-bye to each other . .and often in my garage . .she would laugh and run over and hug me and say that same thing - I forgot to hug you good-bye . .and, of course, I never got to say good-bye to her while she was alive - I never was even allowed to see her at all after she died . . 

Robert - he appeared in a dream holding his son Owen . .he looked at me and asked "Martha, can you hold Owen? I have to pass now" . .later, in a dream, I was in the house I grew up in with numerous friends and I said "If Robert can send us a sign (that he is still around somehow), that door will close" . ..and, the door immediately closed. . .

Degree of bereavement for deceased immediately prior to the experience:     Severe sadness and/or grief feelings

Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:         Asleep

After your experience, did you consider the contents of your experience:       Wonderful

Have you had multiple experiences?   Yes     about 10 different dreams; one auditory experience; many "coincidences"

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            N0 comment

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    see above . .I heard "HI" clearly ..but I don't know if it was outloud or in my head

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  don't know

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           it was EXACTLY her voice

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Uncertain

only in dreams - but, yes, then

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   familiar hugging . . several times I touched her and she felt real and solid

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  no - just checking to see if she was solid

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  na

Did you see the deceased?         Uncertain

only in dreams . .in the vivid dream she was wearing an outfit I know well (and now have) I could recognize it even to the chapstick on a string she had around her neck - the purple shirt and blue vest

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            SOLID

            How much of the deceased did you see?       in the first dream - mostly waist up . .in the other dreams, all of her

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       seemed younger - but not by a lot . .a few years ..maybe to age 30

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            totally vibrantly healthy - and very happy

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           dreams

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        each one must have been just a few minutes

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         can't answer . .seemed normal

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

she was always happy

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Charlie did -- I actually asked his widow recently if that made sense to her - -she said Yes, she was having trouble sleeping and that is something common to her - she wasn't sure about the popcorn . ..BUT, on the day I was there and told her about the dream, there was a big bowl of popcorn on the table ..

when I went to the medium, I received information I did not know . . about how Kathy had not wanted me to see her, how she would have done something differently (means a lot to me but is personal), that she is still around and with us on bike rides . ..

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Kathy and I talked long and often about life after death as that has always been a big fear of mine. . .she just believed we go on after death . .I always WANTED to believe that . . .before this experience I hoped we did but I wanted proof and I would default to thinking it is not likely . .now, I think it is highly likely (I hope) but I am not absolutely positive . .I am pretty close . .I'd like some more experiences . ..

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

well, I was asleep for most of these experiences     

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           extreme joy - at seeing Kathy - interacting with her - hugging her - that, my gosh, it maybe is REAL . .oh, my gosh . .I was beside myself with emotion . .

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

lots of healing . .particularly after meeting with the medium . ..

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      there was only good . .except that it ended . . and hasn't occured again . .and, I haven't had any dreams of her lately . ..the best part was that it seemed REAL and not like a dream . .I felt in total control of myself - like I was just there with her and not in a dream state . ..and, that I got to see her - to hug her - to say "good-bye" (which I hope it really isn't)

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      not obviously, but I am less terrified of death and very comforted about my friend

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     much stronger belief in consciousness after death .

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            N0 comment            I already have a strong spiritual side and I have studied this subject for many many years - and I continue to do so. . .

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Uncertain

I have tried . .with most people I know, it has to be a joke because they so do not believe . . .

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes only when I went to the medium . ."Kathy" described a picture frame that I could not picture - I looked and looked for it after - - finally, months later, I realized it was one in her house that I had given her - with lots of pictures (it was like a rolodex) of us and others . . and some other details . .like me changing a BACK tire of a bike (I recalled later that a few days before the meeting with the medium I had changed a mutual good friend of Kathy's and mine's back tire)

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I woke -up wide awake - crying with emotion and so so grateful for the experience and for my friend . . .

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     many think it is baloney . ..must think so . . ..my friend, Robert's widow, shares these ideas with me . . .and we share many possible "sign" from Kathy and Robert . . .another friend and I study this a lot . .

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?            Yes

I did send this to a site of a woman - Diane Archangel . . .I tried to another site but it wouldn't go . .some server problem . .

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    it is hard to discuss separate experiences on this site . . .