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Mary C's ADC

Experience description:  

I had just lost my husband about two weeks prior.  He had terminal cancer, but the way that he left, we were not prepared.  He died a horrible, painful death.  I was and am still missing him so much.  I was asleep one night and in my dream, I saw someone and turned my head to see my husband.  It was like looking at him by the light of the moon, real but shadowed.  He looked healthy and serene.  I said to him...I just want to touch your face and I want you to hold me.  With a slight smile and confidence in his voice, he spoke softly to me "But you can, but you can".  I reached out and touched his face and it almost felt so real.  I then fell into a deep sleep.  Even though I never felt his arms around me, when I woke, I had a feeling that I had slept so deeply because he was holding me.  I woke up in the morning wanting to go back to that dream.  It's been about six weeks now that he has been gone and everyday I yearn for that again.  I miss him more with each passing day.

I will also share another experience from the day of the funeral that was shared by about a hundred people.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No


Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I told him that I wanted to touch his face and for him to hold me.  He told me "But you can, but you can".

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  It was almost as if he was whispering next to me.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was his voice, only calmer, more relaxed.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           Definitely not

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   I was asleep

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

I touched his face.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   It was very familiar, only his skin was so much softer.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Pure love....and human contact with the one I love.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No way

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

He looked the same, only his face was full of healthiness, not the sickness that he had when he passed.  His eyes and mouth showed me that he was happy.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            His face was clear, but it was like I was looking at him in the moonlight.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I saw his head and his hand

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       Same age, only a lot healthier...almost younger.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He seemed in absolute perfect health.  I don't remember seeing any of his facial flaws, but that could be due to the lighting that I saw him in.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           Not a chance

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        very brief...a few seconds

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The beginning was almost sudden, I saw someone beside me and turned to see him, but I was not startled.  The end was gradual, because I fell into a deep sleep with the though later that he had been holding me while I slept.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

So, peacefull, confident, serene, happy.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Not really....just that I was allowed to touch his face.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I don't have a very good imagination.  I don't think my mind could have come up with that alone.  And I know if he could, he would come to me....he was my soul mate.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

I was asleep when it happened

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Never wanting it to end EVER.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

I went off the deep end drinking....I am just now coming back from all of that and trying to find myself.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was hearing his voice and touching his face, the worst was not feeling his arms around me even though I sensed that he had held me.  And waking up and not having that anymore was a horrible feeling.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            I think it made me miss him even more.  But gave me the sense that he was OKAY

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     I went on a month long drinking binge, because the pain of missing him was to great to handle.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     It told me that he was okay where he is now.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

I know that we have told each other in the past that we would find a way to contact each other, but we never discussed in what way we would do it.  Just that if there was a way, that we would.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Wanting it back so badly....and still do!


Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I was asleep

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

Maybe, it was like he was standing in the moonlight

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Everyone agreed that it was really him coming to me to let me know that he was okay.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I just want to have another....actually I want to have them daily.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

At his burial service there were first one eagle, then two eagles soaring above...this was witnessed by about a hundred people.  Then, as the ceremony ended they just soared while circling each other higher and higher untill they disappeard.  Also, there was a clearing in the sky where they were except a cloud in the middle which formed the shape of an eagle.  My husband's father also passed from cancer in 1997....everyone believes it was his father coming to get him.  You could just feel a release of heaviness in your chest as you watched them soar higher and higher.  We believe that it was his way of saying he was okay and to say goodbye.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes