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Mary M's ADC 1903

Experience description:  

I'm not sure if this was simply a dream or a contact. My husband died of lung cancer, though he'd never smoked. I hoped to dream about him just after his death, but I didn't. It could be my mind was clouded by sleeping pills and tranquilizers. After a month, I had a series of vivid dreams.  

In the first one my husband finally came to me. He was young, the way he looked when we first met. We were in a darkened room. I asked him if he was hungry. He said he didn't need to eat. I told him to remember to take his medications, but he said he didn't need them. Then I gave him a back rub, a massage, and our sons (there are four of them) came to speak with him while I massaged him.  

At the end, he sat up, and we embraced. I held him close, and then I woke up. My arms were crossed and I still felt him there.  

Two days later I had another dream. This time we were walking up a country road toward a forest. He was even younger and very happy. He was laughing like he didn't have a care in the world. I was happy for him, but still felt a sadness. Finally he went ahead of me and said he would see me later.  

I've had dreams since then, but none so vivid. In my later dreams, he is there, but not there. It's hard to explain. I can't see him, but I know he's around.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    In my second dream, he just said "See you later" - but in Norwegian, which was his language.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  This was in my dream, so it's hard to say. In my dream he was saying this.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was his voice.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

When I awoke from my first dream, I felt his body in my arms.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Hard to say.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Love, maybe. A goodbye.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  My arms were crossed, as if I was holding something, but I definitely felt something in them.

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

I saw my husband as a young man, about thirty years younger, in my dream.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Solid. The surroundings were dark in the first dream, but bright in the second. Like a bright light all around him - an extremely sunny day.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       All of him.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       He was about thirty years younger in the first dream. Even younger in the second.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Very healthy, especially in the second dream. Very vibrant, young and very healthy.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           This was a dream, so no.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        Not sure. These were dreams.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         In the first dream, the beginning was sudden and the end gradual. In the second both the beginning and the end were sudden.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

In the first, I felt my husband was a little sad, reluctant to leave us. In the second, he was extremely happy.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           The dreams were unlike any I've had. I felt the presence of my husband.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

They were dreams.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           In the first dream, I felt sad, but grateful to be with my husband again. In the second I felt hopeful, I guess. A little sad to see him go, but hopeful.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

Just that I felt a little more hope. It helped me through an otherwise horrible, traumatic period.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was seeing my husband and seeing how happy he was - especially in the second dream. The worst was not having him with me when I woke up. Realizing he was gone from this life.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            Only in that I now hope for an afterlife and believe this may be a possibility.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     I have hope now. I didn't before.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Uncertain      I've begun to think about these things and research them.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           
Still grief but hopeful that I might see my husband again when I die.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Yes

My four children.

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

In the second dream there was a brilliant sunlight.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     One of my sons. He believed my dreams were a contact. He has also had similar dreams of his father.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I wish I could have a similar dream, or a visitation that was more clear. I am envious of those who have had near death experiences.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Uncertain

I'm still not sure if this really was a contact or just a dream. It's hard to tell if a dream can be a form of contact.