The first experience was when I was a kid laying in bed I would miss my mom. My mom died when I was three years old.  I never really saw any pictures of her when I was a kid and have no real memories of her.  Yet, I could picture her on my school playground. I would daydream about her she was wearing a white beautiful dress and glowed.  When my grandmother died, I was sent all these pictures of my mom, so I got too see what she looked like. She was the same woman I pictured all those years ago. I just have always thought these were coincidences and that I was crazy until I've started studying and realizing that other people are having similar experiences. 

I've never really told people about my dreams because I always thought of them as just that - a dream.  Anyway, when I was 15,16 I had another strange dream.  I dreamt that I had died, which freaks me out to talk about it.  When I told my wife about this dream she looked freaked out and told me not to talk about it. Here I was dead and trying to help this friend of mine that was still living only she couldn't see me or hear me.  I don't think at first I realized I was dead, only I could see the dead and the living and could tell the difference.  It was scary to say the least.  I feel uncomfortable talking about it even now.  Since that dream, I think in the back of my mind that they actually are among us, only we're blind.  We don't see or hear them but we don't see the air either but its still there.

My 3rd and most real like dream was in 1997, 2 yrs after my grandfather died.  I was worried because if he did see me, he now knew I jerked off, had sex with my girlfriend, and smoked.  I always worried (and to a point still do) that he could see me and didn't approve. But in my dream, he held me and hugged me.  He advised me about what I can't recall, but I remember feeling so much closure and so much better for days/weeks after this dream.  I remember feeling wiser somehow too.  Now, I'm wondering if all these dreams meant something more than what I originally thought I had 2 yrs after my grandfather died. Although I missed him, I wasn't in constant grief or anything.  I'm not now, but yet especially lately, I have felt this presence.  I can't explain it - like the air I can't see it but it doesn't mean its not here.

Background Information:

Length of time between death of deceased and your experience:         

my grandfather died in 95 i had this dream in 97.M

Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience: 

was sleeping....resting....in bed

Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:         Asleep

Have you had multiple experiences?   Yes     2

Was this experience difficult to express in words? 

Yes

because I'm not sure really what I believe - whether I just was dreaming or whether it happened to be more.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         

Uncertain

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:  

One night while thinking about a friend that died the room was very quiet suddenly a tape fell off my bookcase.  The only thing was nobody else was in the room and I was clear across the room...maybe it fell on its own but it did kinda weirded me out..

Did you see the deceased?        

Uncertain

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            solid but bright...

            How much of the deceased did you see?       all

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       yes. to me..

             How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            healthy...

How long did the experience last?       

not sure....

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        

not sure.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          

Yes

yes but I can't really describe..I guess I felt loved...

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

I think the purpose was to validate them....possible??? let me know I was thought about as I thought about them...

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:         

I'm honestly not sure whether there just dreams or not......but don't want to see probably either way, I'm on a fence here......

             Was the experience dream like in any way?  

Yes

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          

positive, like I was being educated even though I cant remember what was said...

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          

Yes, both times..

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     

worst part is not knowing my mom ...best part is feeling like someone  is watching out for me up there and has an interest in  my life here......

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?        

No

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?           

Uncertain, I'm not sure...

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?       

No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         

No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           

positive.....felt a lift...with my grandfather I received a closure, a knowledge he made it ok and that we had a very deep respect for each other...

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

I feel a presence i think...

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes, my wife but nobody else what so ever

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  

No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?              

Yes