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Nicola's ADC

Experience description:  

This is not your traditional ADC.  It is more of a revelation that I did not know. 

- My father and I were always very close.  I never felt very connected to my mother even though I lived with both parents together while growing up.  I looked more like my dad, acted like him, had the same mannerisms and the same shy personality.  

He developed cancer and I helped him through a very difficult journey at a time when I had just gone through my own divorce and subsequent financial difficulty.  I had two young children but did my best to take care of my dad.  It was heart wrenching for both of us, knowing he wouldn't survive.   On December 24, 2005 (Christmas Eve), it was very clear that he was close to passing away.  He was admitted to a hospital in palliative care.  I was alone by his bedside when I realized that I had not bought him a Christmas gift.  He had been in the hospital so long, and I honestly hadn't thought he would live until Christmas, so I hadn't bought anything. 

Around 8pm I realized this.  I desperately wanted to get him one last gift.  The hospital gift shop was closed and there were no shopping malls open nearby because it was Christmas Eve at 8 pm.  I drove around in vain until I found a grocery store and went inside to get milk, etc. for my kids which was needed at home.  In the grocery store there was an aisle of Christmas merchandise so I looked through it to find anything that I could "give" to my father.  Nothing seemed appropriate, as he was barely alive.  I finally saw a small 3D red cardinal (bird) which was meant to be a christmas tree ornament.  Somehow when I saw it I almost burst into tears.  I had to have it for my father although I wasn't sure why it was so emotional.  I took it to him and told him how much I loved him.  I made it "walk" up his arm and I said "There is a cardinal here for you daddy.  It's my gift to you.  Fly away home..." 

My father's breathing slowed and he passed away about three hours later. 

Since that time I have always loved cardinals.  They obviously remind me of him and I hold them in the highest regard whether in art work, sculpture, or as live birds.    I found it ironic that there was a cardinal wind chime on the tree across from his grave, marking someone else's resting place. I started to notice cardinals everywhere (pictures, etc), but kept this as my little secret.  I never told anyone because it was so painful to recall that parting scene between me and my father. 

Around the time that I started seeing cardinals I also noticed that the number 44 was happening all the time around me, as a good luck sign.   I noticed that the number 44 was always followed by a strong feeling of safety and security, or good luck. 

This all went on for the past 7 years since my father's death. 

Yesterday was my 44th birthday (That special number, 44!!!)  Today I went to my mother's home to celebrate.  My teenaged children and my mom were there.  I had a distinct feeling of my father's love being around me and I was very cognizant of it.  I even looked around hoping to see come kind of sign that he was there.   The first birthday gift I opened was from my  teenaged son.  In the box lay a red cardinal wind chime, almost identical to the one near my father's grave.  My jaw dropped but no one knew that I loved cardinals so much, or that I relate them to my dad, so they asked why I was reacting so strongly.  I had to fight back tears and didn't want to start talking about my dad, so I just said

"I really love cardinals". 

My mom immediately said "Really?!  You like cardinals, too?  Your father LOVED cardinals!  I remember years and years ago, when we were first dating, I told him that if I died I wanted to come back as a butterfly.  He told me that he wanted to come back as a cardinal....  He said it again to me about a year before he died... He really loved them " 

I was absolutely stunned.  I had no idea that my father loved cardinals.  He was a pretty quiet guy and he had never said anything like that to me.   The coincidence of me being drawn to the cardinal in the grocery store (of all places), on Christmas Eve,  giving him the cardinal as his final gift at a point when he was no longer able to speak, or tell me that he loved cardinals....  me saying "Fly away home"...  then seeing cardinals  everywhere for seven years.... getting one as my birthday gift for no "reason", finding out that my dad loved them, and that he wanted to return as a cardinal....  The idea of "fly away home" makes such sense now.  I had wanted him to fly to heaven.  Now it seems he is flying back to his home here on Earth....   It's also so magic that this all was revealed to me on my 44th birthday... 

This isn't your typical ADC. I believe this shows my father and I were psychically connected just prior to his death,  and that he has definitely come home to us as a beautiful red cardinal as he always wished.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        It was just a few sentences from my mother, but they blew me out of the water with information that I definitely did not know... This information made everything crystal clear.   Suddenly everything made sense and I knew my father was with us / OK.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

I had a sense that he was very relieved to have this series of coincidences come together -- so that my mom could explain about him wanting to be a cardinal.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Yes

Have you shared this experience with others?         No       Even after my mom's revelation, I didn't say anything.  I am keeping this like a magic secret between myself and my father.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No