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Pamela H's ADC

Experience description:  

I was asleep and I dreamed that I was in someone's home.  I saw a very frail, elderly lady lying on the floor.  I knew that she was very sick and alone, and I picked her up to carry her to her bed.  As I lifted her, I looked down at her feet and ankles and they were misshapen, bruised and swollen.  I thought to myself, "Oh, she would never have been able to walk on these feet."  We didn't speak, but as I laid her on her bed she breathed a sigh of relief.  I looked up from her bed, and I saw the actor, Russell Crowe, standing in the corner of her bedroom.  I thought to myself "I hope that he doesn't think I am doing this for his benefit."  (i.e. To impress him with my kindness, etc...) 

As I thought that, I turned back to the lady on the bed and as I looked down on her I was filled to overflowing with love for her.  This is the part that I cannot express in words.  The emotion of love for her was so strong.  I also felt great pity and some sadness.  We didn't speak, but we both knew that she was going to die, and she was so glad that I was there and I was so glad that I was there with her.  I remember thinking (and she knew what I was thinking) that I would stay with her until she died.  I was so glad I was there with her.  Once again, the emotion of how grateful I was to be there with her cannot be expressed in words. 

The next day I thought about this dream off and on all day.  I kept trying to figure out what it meant symbolically since the emotions were so strong.  I kept thinking it must have meant something.  The day after that, early in the morning, I found out that my sister-in-law had died in her home, alone, and it had probably been the night that I had my "dream."  My sister-in-law was diabetic and her biggest problem had been her feet and ankles.  We had no reason to believe that her health was especially bad, as she was supposed to be flying to Cleveland to visit with her sister and my grown children who were flying out from California.  I spoke with my daughter after she flew back to Ohio for the funeral and at one point I told her about my "dream" as we had not had a chance to discuss it before she left. 

When I mentioned Russell Crowe she started crying and said that she had found out that day that Russell Crow was her aunt's favorite actor, that she had just loved his movies.  She said "Momma, all day I've been saying to myself that if someone mentions Russell Crowe to me I will know that Aunt Mary is OK.  I never recognized this elderly lady as Mary (Mary was in her 50's) and it never crossed my mind after I woke up that this had anything to do with her.  I now think that somehow I was with her.  I feel so sad that she died, but I cannot feel sad that she died alone, because I don't think she did die alone.  I truly believe hat I was there with her.  It was the greatest gift that she could have ever given to me.  I think that maybe she called to me because on some level she knew I would be open to it and it wouldn't frighten me, then or later.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    The strength of my emotions during the experience cannot be conveyed by words.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No     

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?            I was asleep.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes, especially the Russell Crowe part!  Maybe this was something for my daughter, or so I would know later that I was really with Mary?

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No         

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Great love, and such gratitude that I was there with her when she needed someone.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?          No

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?        No     

Did you see a light?         No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Yes    Well, if you want to count Russell Crowe :)

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No     

This happened spontaneously.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         Yes    Mary did die in her home.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?     Yes    We were communicating without speaking.  Also, it was not hard for me to pick this lady up and carry her.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No     

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes    Knowing that this lady was definitely going to die.  I wasn't there to save her, just to comfort her and be with her.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?          Yes    Strengthened my belief that there is more to this world than we know scientifically.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I am so grateful for the experience, mainly that Mary gave me the gift of being with her.  I definitely feel that she called to me somehow.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?       Yes          Just an amazing experience that will always be with me.

Have you shared this experience with others?        Yes    My grown children and a couple of friends.  I think they believe me, but also they don't know what to think.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Until I found that Mary had died I was just puzzling over this "dream." What did it mean?  When I found that Mary had died I mainly felt such gratitude that I was there with her.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    No worst part, the best part is the conviction that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.  I have read a lot about the paranormal, reincarnation, etc... I wanted to believe, but somethimes I was skeptical...just being human I guess. I remember wishing, on more than one occasion, that I could personally have some type of proof.  I was thinking along the lines of a past life regression that I could verify.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?          Just that I would like to learn more about this and talk to other people who have had similar experiences.  It has changed my life.  My normal, mundane, day to day life is the same, but every once in awhile I will sit down and review this and I am still amazed and grateful.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No         

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes   

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.   I found it to be very thorough.