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Pamela M's ADC

Experience description:  

My mother died when I was 25 yrs. old, I had a good relationship with my mother, we had our ups and downs, esp. during my teen years, very typical, but I really did love her for her ability to find the good in all people. The night she died, she had a massive stroke, she was in the ER, and my father was told she basically would be a vegetable if put on life support. She never wanted that, she was just 55 yrs. old, I guess she had hyperlipidemia, and at that time there were no statins like we have today. My father of course was very perplexed, but she suffered another stroke in the ER and she did not survive . That night was unreal of course, and when I went to sleep, she really gave me a parting final gift. I don't know why me rather than my siblings, but nevertheless, she took me where she was. It was so profound, to this day I will never forget it, and I am pleased that I found somewhere to record this experience. As a matter of fact, when I was working on my nursing degree, I took an English class, and I wrote about my experience, I think I was around 40 yrs old at the time. But here is what I experienced. I don't record it as a dream, it was the most real experience I have ever had in my life. 

The first thing I remember was that I was walking along side my mother, she was smiling, we were on a grassy path with very tall pine trees on either side, there were the most beautiful flowers everywhere beneath the tall trees and they were very tall trees, the colors, oh the colors, ethereal, not of this earth, it was so beautiful, and the flowers, lush and so indescribably beautiful, the grass was an emerald glistening like nothing here on earth, it sparkled, it was dewy and so lovely, there were the most beautiful birds everywhere, it was so overpowering, and she was sighing in delight, and saying to me, "Oh, Pam, isn't is so beautiful here", I could feel what she was feeling, and the air, it was so incredibly fresh and sweet and smelled like nothing I have ever known, and walking on this dazzling emerald grass was like floating on the softest thing..........the peace there, the light, she kept sighing in such peace such a feeling so indescribable. I can't tell you how profound of an experience this was. This was not a dream, she took me there, she always said to me that if she died she would let me know where she was. She had a very tiny life experience, but she loved books and theater and flowers and birds. Her birds where just what flew around the back porch in a little steel mill town. I am glad that she got to see all those beautiful birds with colors never seen in this world. And the air, she kept sighing and breathing such sweet air, I guess I never noticed it growing up in a town with the blast furnace spewing out graphite and dirt and breathing in all that filth, and didn't really think about it until I got older about that dream and that sweet air so pure, everything in that pine forest was enhanced beyond my powers to describe it, there are no words. I am prompted tonight to tell these things, I did see a man who wrote a book about his 90minutes in heaven, I was brought literally to tears about what he said because I experienced it, but it was not me who died, it was my mother, but she allowed my to come to where she was, I will never know why it was me but I am grateful for what I saw, felt, heard, oh yes, I forgot to tell about the birds singing, it was so pure and sweet and so utterly beautiful beyond human description. Really, my words are so feeble compared to the profound experience that I had. I wonder if anyone  else got to go for a while to this place with someone who died. I have never heard of this. Have you?

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes    

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I was asleep with a conscious awake dream

Was the experience dream like in any way?   It was more real than everyday life.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No      

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Pure joy peace love

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           Wonderful singing of birds, I could hear butterfly wings, I could hear the grass rustling, it was wonderful

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No           

Did you see a light?           Uncertain      I glittered everywhere I looked. On the flowers, on the trees and grass.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     Yes, as described, my mother walked along side of me, she and I both knew without speaking why I was there.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Uncertain            My senses were not different, the surroundings where so enhanced with such beauty, here I could not have taken it all in, but there I was able to.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No      

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain            I just knew that I was where my mother was and I knew she was showing me what a wonderful place it was

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Most people listen to the story, but they don't understand, they don't and can't comprehend my experience.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Well, I was only 25, and lost my mother, but later on in life, I felt this was a special gift she sent to me.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      All 5 senses were involved, too almost so acute to describe.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I just wonder if anyone else who has lost someone had any kind of experience like I had.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               No response            Pretty much.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I can't think of anything else but I will say, I don't think I can ever really explain or describe what happened to me. I was the most profound and powerful thing that I have ever experienced, it was the most real, REAL thing I could have ever experienced. I just wish I could truly describe this.