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Patricia D's ADC

Experience description:  

As I reached out to touch his arm (thinking he was asleep), I was aware of two things:  his arm was cold and he was suddenly speaking to me.  To this day, I'm not sure if his voice was inside my head or outside of it.  I do know that his voice had a place of origin and that was in the corner at the ceiling over the bed not from his body.  He said "Everything will be all right."  In that instant, I felt as though I was drawn into some kind of blissful state.  A powerful sense of peace came over me.  It didn't last too long and then I became afraid, not of the experience but I then knew my father was dead.  Of course, this was 1966 and these things were never talked about.  I didn't actually share this experience with anybody until I was an adult.  I was a pretty precocious child, though, and a reader.  I spent hours at the library trying to find any kind of similar account.  It wasn't until 1977 or so when Ray Moody came out with his book - "Life After Life" (I think that's the name of it) that I finally found similarities in the N.D.E. accounts to my experience. That discovery set me on a lifelong quest for ADC stories (I must have every book!).  I think two things are important about my childhood ADC.  One is that I never questioned it.  I never tried to talk myself out of it.  I knew that it happened and I simply accepted that fact.  I think that that's the kind of attitude that changes as we grow up.  Secondly, I am very aware today that at what would become the worst tragedy of my young life, I was given the best gift of my life - The understanding that we go on after death.  Because I was so young and because it was my direct experience, I have never had to wonder about that...

Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes

It was much more than just my father's voice.  I felt as though I had (for an instant) been drawn into a place of incredible peace and comfort.  That part of it is hard to describe.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:      "Everything will be all right."  Extremely clear and definitely his voice.

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?         I addressed this above:  I definitely heard his voice and I was aware of where it came from but it seemed to come from "my head" so I have always been confused on this point.

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?         The same voice I'd heard hours before.

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?      no.

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? no.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?          Yes

I touched the physical body.  I didn't experience being touched.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?  n/a

          Was anything communicated by the touch?  n/a

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?         n/a

Did you see the deceased?        No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?   No
How long did the experience last?       a moment or moment(s)

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?          sudden.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

comforting, positive, actually happy

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?         Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   a gift.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          Described above:  Sudden onset of a state of bliss.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          Yes

This experience has been akin to having a tiny seed implanted at a time when I was really too young to understand it.  Over the course of forty years it has slowly but surely grown and blossomed as my own spiritual self has grown and blossomed.  I am constantly amazed at the continuing impression it makes on my life despite how long ago it happened.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    Worst:  I lost my father that day and my family pretty much fell apart in the ensuing years.  Best:  I was given the gift of knowing that "Everything will be all right."

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?          Uncertain                 Describe:     Hard to say.  I was so young.  If I had to guess, I'd say yes because the experience was so profound and so early.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
            Uncertain     I was so young, it probably did more to shape my initial attitudes and beliefs than to change them.  I did recognize that all the religious training I had in the years following never addressed what I'd actually experienced.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?          Uncertain     I know for a fact that there's something.  I don't know what that is.  I know it's good.  I feel it has little in common with the traditional way in which "God" is viewed by much of mankind.  I think that in our present state, the concept of "God" is well beyond our capability to understand.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?      No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?          mixed.  Shock of losing a parent.  Panic - I was alone in the house.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

Part of me was in that blissful place while part of me was standing next to my dad's body - I guess that would be an altered state.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes

Yes, but it would have qualified more as a feeling/sense than a knowing - this could be because I was so young.

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?           Uncertain

I believe that I did but I didn't recognize them as such.  I seem to be much more intuitive these days than I ever remember being and I do seem to have a sensitivity to spirits or place memories.  It seems to be pretty prevalent amongst post-menopausal women, so it could be that.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?          Uncertain

I felt I was in both places at once.

Have you shared this experience with others?       

Yes    I began to share it when I was older and then only when I felt safe to do so.  The reactions are as varied as the people.  Some positive.  Some tell me I was hallucinating from grief.  Some share there stories, etc.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   Yes

My account was published as part of Dr. Louis LeGrande's "Messages and Miracles".

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  Yes 

I have been out of body (and aware of it) on a few occasions.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.          Great!!  Thanks for the opportunity.