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Patricia R's ADC

Experience description:  

My husband was diagnosed April 17th with colon cancer, he was 43. We had no idea just how bad it really was, we had hope for a good few years together, however it consumed him by May 11th 2006.  I never left his side from the moment he got ill.  He died in my arms, but just before dying, I asked him to give me a sign, a provable sign that when I would hear his voice I would really know it is him. He said ok.  I have a history of being a sensitive, however I always doubt myself and sometimes think I'm imagining, even when it can be verified by another. 

  The day I took him to the hospital, that morning a dove flew into the middle of a busy road, and would not move.  I said to myself, wow that bird wants my attention, cars had to drive around it.  I have a gift that I see doves, either by the road or yard, they make themselves known when something bad is about to happen,  HOWEVER the bird REALLY wanted to tell me something. 

It was the morning of his wake.  I was having a hard time with grief.  I was in the shower, leaning my head on the wall, telling him I don't think I can do this (meaning the wake).  I heard him say my name...I said Mike.. yes Pat... are you ok...? He said I'm with Joe, Ted and Claire. I said who... he repeated the names.  I'm ok... you can do this. 

I got out of the shower and his family was at the house. Mind you we were together for 3 years, but just married at that time 6 weeks. I knew Ted And Joe were his grandfathers...but I didn't know Claire.  So I asked my sister in law if there was a Claire in the family..she thought for a moment..No I don't think so why?..I told her what had happened...Then I asked his Uncle Ed.. he gave me the same response. I had a heavy heart....I went down stairs to where his Mother was... I said.. mom.. is the a Claire in your family somewhere.  Yes she said she is my Mothers sister.  I asked if she was alive, and she told me she had passed awhile ago. Why?  I told her that Mike just let my know he's ok, and that he promised me that he would give me a sign that could be verified. He kept his promise. 

Strange things have happened since. Like my friend ordered a Blue Moon beer and when the waiter brought it the song Blue Moon was playing. 

I saw him standing in the doorway between our dining room and living room as we were watching our favorite TV programs.. He looked just as he always did. The room behind was dark but he sort of glowed a translucent ness about he, he had on a blue shirt, I could make out his face and body , but it was only a brief moment in time maybe 5 seconds. And he was gone. 

I wake up every morning with a song in my head...(funny cause I won't listen to the radio..on purpose) or in the middle of the day A song pops up from him.  This mornings song was Devoted to You. Songs about love and friendship. He was really into music..and I have to look up the lyrics for the songs because I don't know them by heart, and it makes me cry. But I'm glad he's letting me know how he felt with music, cause the spoken word he sometimes had a hard time with...speaking his feelings.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:      He will speak to me inside my head. And when I answer him out loud sometimes..he laughs and says Oh you really can hear me!

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?         I hear him inside my head.

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?         similar to his own when alive.

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?      no not at all.

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? none

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?          No

Did you see the deceased?        Yes

He looked the same as he did when alive....and well.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            somewhat transparent..hazy...glowing..sortof slightly illuminated..not brightly glowing.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       all of him..but the upper body was the most visible.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?            yes

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            healthy as he was before the cancer.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           not a chance

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?   No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

concerned....just checking up..on his shows and us.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  he gave information to me that I had not previously known. I had no idea he had an Aunt Claire..nor did some of his family members... his Mother told me.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?         Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   How could I know who Claire was??? That was my verifiable sign.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:         Very sad.. It was the morning of his wake.. he had died in my arms..I went through the whole death experience with him.. His last words to me were 2 breaths from passing. I was overwhelmed..didn't know how I would get through the wake and funeral.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          Yes

healing..well..it's too soon to tell. I felt better knowing he was ok and could talk to me.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    best part..being able to hear and see him again...worst part knowing he's gone from this world.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No         

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         N0 comment well..I don't know if it is a life as we mortals know it.. but I believe there is a place we go to when we die.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?      Yes

Just before dying I told Mike that he had to be waiting for me on the other side, and he told me he would be there.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         Yes Well his statement was verified

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Felt relieved.. Now I knew he could contact me.. for real.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          Yes

Well it wasn't witness per se...I was verified by another.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain

It's like I have the knowledge somewhere... I knew he had a blockage of some sort, before he went to the Dr.s  They were going to release him from the ER with pneumonia..when I had to tell them to so a cat scan on his abdomen... that when they saw the blockage.  But I knew it was there...but didn't want to believe it.

Did you see a light?         Uncertain

around his being.. he was slightly luminous.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?         No

Have you shared this experience with others?       

Yes    my good friends know that I have a gift...that I don't always consider a gift.. but know that I can communicate with my husband... I'm glad I have it.  They took it to be credible.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes