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Patti L's ADC

Experience description:  

I was sitting on my bed listening to music on my computer when my husband's voice came into my head.  I wanted to listen to the music so I told him to go away.  He wouldn't go.  I kept thinking about him and then finally said in my own head "just go, I can't believe you left me to raise our children alone". 

I did not know he had just died.  He was away camping and ran into trouble.  I knew it from that very second going forward that he was gone and I was completely alone now.  I have had this unbelievable knot in my stomach ever since, it won't go away.  Then this last weekend, he came to me in a dream telling me he was going to take our oldest child with him.  I begged him not to and then the dream switched to me meeting a really great man.  I am so confused.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     No  

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   Yes   

Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:     I heard him plain as day speaking to me in my head.  I can't explain it.  

Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?   I could hear him, but it was weird, I also instinctively "knew" he had passed and was trying to tell me something important but I didn't want to hear it. 

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     I could hear him but not sure it was actually his voice or that I heard the message he was sending me.     

Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no  

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   No                   

Did you see the deceased?   No                      

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    No                

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     It felt like dread.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   I found out he was not alive and initiated the search to recover him.  It took us days to find him in the river.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    I have had 2 other interventions from that inner voice that has saved my life both times.  I listened to it and adjusted my actions only to find out later it saved my life.  I always listen to the voice now.

Was the experience dream like in any way?    Uncertain    I don't think so, more like a radio announcement in my head.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    No    No, I just am mad that I didn't say to him what I should have said to him instead of pushing him away.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    Not saying the right things to him, I didn't listen to him, just pushed him away has me feeling awful about it.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    No        

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?    No   

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    No    

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    No   

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        No   

Did you become aware of future events?           No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No   

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No   

Did you see a light?    No   

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    two of my good friends said they completely understood what I just told them and that it has happened to them as well.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No        

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No   

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      Yes    I was on the bus to meet a friend and got that same weird gut feeling.  I got off the bus and went back home, as soon as I got on the other bus towards my house, the feeling went away.  I found out the next day my ex-boyfriend was brandishing a gun and was intent on killing me.  They found him dead the next day of suicide.  He always said he would "take me with him" but my guardian angel protected me.  I always listen now.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes