The night before the burial of my son before I went to sleep is when it started.  I was laying in bed and heard some clanking at the end of my bed. Rees loved to lay on the floor and play with the hanging knobs on my dresser.  They made a clanking sound when he moved them he played with them while I would be folding clothes.  I realized what the sound was and went to the end of the bed and said "Rees it's nite nite time, I love you" and it stopped.  My husband didn't hear me so when it stopped I thought I had just been hearing things.  I laid down and went to sleep and ended up in this room that was all white with other people sitting on benches as I then realized I was sitting on a bench also.  I was looking around turned to my right and realized there was a basket sitting next to me.  I looked in and saw my son.  He opened his eyes and smiled that beautiful smile he had.  He was always a very happy boy.  I reached in and picked him up.  He was a very healthy boy so he was heavy.  I  sat with him and he talked with me our lips did not move it was only with thought back and forth.  He told me he was okay and he loved me. We sat for a long time and then he said it was time to go. I gave him a hug and kiss told him I loved him and placed him carefully back in the basket.  Rees said "Please don't cry mommy" and then the baskets were all gone.  I realized the other people around me were there to say goodbye to their kids.  I woke up it was morning and my arm hurt so bad and I cried.  Nothing else since.  But I know my daughter also had an experience with their brother yet another story.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

Yes didn't think anyone would believe me

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Uncertain

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    It was a voice but it was not possible for and 8 1/2 month old to speak and it was through our thoughts.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  inside

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           it was a child's voice

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No it was night and everyone in the house was asleep

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

the weight of him in my arms

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   very familiar like he had never left.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  no

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  no

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

He was very much himself no difference in his appearance except he  looked very much alive.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            solid as I said like he had never left

            How much of the deceased did you see?       his face his chubby arms and fingers and his dark soft hair

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       same age as when he died

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            he was a healthy boy and looked just like he did before he died.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        I went to bed at around 10 at night and  work up to my daughters getting up around 8am

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         gradual

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Uncertain

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I have had other experiences with a couple of other family members that passed so I believe it to definitely be real

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           relaxed, loved, relieved, sad

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

felt I could move forward when I knew he was safe but still missed him terribly.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best- holding him again and getting to kiss on him

worst - saying goodbye.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:            Yes with my daughters and I can't figure out what it is if that makes sense.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?   Yes

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            loved, sad knowledgeable, felt I could go on and give to my girls what I thought I had lost.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         N0 comment

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I felt I was there but never saw myself just my son and I was holding him.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?           No

Did you see a light?           No

Just a white room

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     My daughters when they got older.  My now husband and my son Keenan.  All of them have shared their experiences with me.  They were all pleased that I shared it was an emotional time.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes 

My stepson- different things happening around the house when I talk out loud to him.  things moving or falling like he is trying to tell me he is here.