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Quartny's ADC

Experience description:  

I have had three separate experiences in the past three days.  I suspect that I will have more in the future.

1. The first night I spent in my father's/my room after his death.  I woke up at 4:30am and was wide awake.  I was looking out of the window in bed and got many different "feelings."  One was strong in that I need to contact and see my father's daughter from a previous marriage (10 yrs older than me), see her children.  My father had a falling out with her when she was 20-21yrs old (about 13 years ago) and had not contacted her since.  He seemed to really want me to repair the relationship.  I also got a strong feeling that I was to help an illegal immigrant that had befriended my brother.  Lastly, I was thinking about the age at which my father had died and how that wasn't such a bad age to go and I got an almost verbal response of "just wait until you're 56!"  This response was like a thought in my head, but it wasn't my thought at all.  I hope this makes sense...I didn't hear anything outloud...just internally.

2.  I was again woken up at 6:30am, but I was so exhausted from the previous night, that I asked to be allowed to sleep, so I was able to relax.

3.  This morning, he helped me decide on a tattoo.  I have wanted to get a tattoo for about 3 years, but I was indecisive about what, and he guided me to a book in his room with a picture in it.  Later, I was out on a run, on a route that my father and I both loved very much (me for running, him for biking).  I saw a single great blue heron on the lake, and then it flew off.  I had just been feeling much grief earlier in the run, but after seeing the great blue, there was a sense of peace.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Uncertain

It was more nonverbal communications between him and I; feelings and expressions rather than language.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Uncertain

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    See #1 above

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  Mostly, it has been a sense of knowing what was communicated, and a little bit of internal communication.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No, it was nighttime, and everyone else in the house was asleep.  Plus, it was definitely internal.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

I sense a lot of my father's feelings or emotions.  He seems to be happier and stronger.  I know he suffered from depression off and on in the past few years, and I don't sense any of that from him now (like i did when he was alive)

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  I think that maybe he felt that he left too early...his comment about the age was pretty strong.  I didn't know really how he felt about death or when he wanted to go or anything like that.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I am a scientist, so I am not one to believe in things I do not experience for myself.  I was fully awake (I got up and went to the restroom at one point in the first night I was awake), and was not overly distressed.  I was not scared or expecting any sort of communication at the time.  I did not feel a strong need for closure (I had seen him two days prior and was able to tell him that I adored and loved him).  It was a surprise to me.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I was sad, in a way.  I was crying for part of it, in the beginning, because I really did miss him.  As it continued, I became more calm and felt like I was understanding more.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I think that my sadness is less, though not gone, because I feel that he has connected himself to me and will always be around when I need him.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was mostly all of it.  The worst part is that he wants to wake me up in the early morning hours, but I think we are going to work on that.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            I think it is too soon to tell.  I feel some things changing in me.  I think that my relationship with my younger brother and mother will evolve.  I hope to have a relationship with my father's daughter.  I think I will need to spend more time spiritually listening to when he wants/ needs to communication with me.          

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     I felt as though I had nothing to regret in my relationship with my father.  We had our ups and downs, but it was life and he loved me a lot and I loved him a lot and there is nothing to regret or feel guilty about.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I remember believing since I was very young in an afterlife, particularly reincarnation.  My father was not a Christian, and I am.  However, my father was a good man and I cannot believe in a God that would send any sort of good people to hell, whether they prescribed to the dogmas or not.  I think that now that I have had an experience; it helps to solidify what I previously had thought to be true.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Very peaceful, very much loved by him, happy that he is in a place where he can be fully happy now.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I talked to my mother about it.  She was not surprised.  Since my father and I were close, it made sense to her that he would be communicating with me.  I do not think he has spoken to her yet, other than give her a sense of peace.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

I think I pretty much was able to cover everything 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I can't think of anything right now.