As I sat holding my son's hand, I noticed some subtle changes in the sense of things slowing down. I was aware of these changes in my body and mind was couldn't comment nor communicate them to those around me. I also noticed that the sounds in ICU, the machines and moments the noises from other patients and staff seem to slowly fade away. I also started having this strong sensation that someone was standing behind me. As I sat looking at my son's face and was sending him my love and support. I felt so powerless and helpless at that moment. I knew he was in God's hand because I had prayed that morning that God's will be done no matter what it was. And I knew it wasn't what I wanted, I wanted my son to live.
I then felt this strong pulling sensation coming from behind me. So I turned around with my head to glance back into the space behind me. The way the nurse and the doctor and my husband were standing they couldn't see into the room behind me because the curtain was pulled back but not all the way so I was the only one who could see into the room. I saw an IV pole and thought oh that is what is drawing my attention away so I turned back to look at my son. But the sensation grew even stronger so I turned my head a little further around around and saw the table the nurses use and then again turned back to my son. But the sensation then grew so strong that it was as if the hair on the back of my neck was standing straight up. I have heard that expression before but never knew what it meant until that moment. My entire body felt this strong pulling sensation. So I turned this time around with my entire body so that I could fully look at what was behind me. It was then I saw him.
It was my deceased father, full form, glowing. I felt confused at first thinking, I see my father? But then I took inside all the details of seeing him. I slowly looked him over from head to toe, taking in all the details of his body, the clothes he was wearing, and the position he was standing in room. He actually wasn't standing directly on the floor. He was raised up somewhat but yet it appeared as if he was standing on solid ground but I saw nothing beneath his feet. And I noticed he had shoes on with shoe laces. He was so ill before he died that he no longer wore his shoes but had slip on leather house shoes he wore. I saw that my father wasn't looking directly at me but almost through me as he looked at my son. (My son was very closed to his Papa as he called him, and he was three years old when my father died and he never forgot him, my son also had several visions of seeing my father before we found out why my son was so ill, that prompted me to take him to some different doctors several states away because the doctors had no diagnosis yet. It was there we found out my son had a terminal heart condition, he was only 14 years old he died 16 months later). He never saw my father again after the diagnosis.
After looking my father from head to foot, I then turned to look again at my son as if I knew I should turn back. Just as my eyes laid on my son's face, he flat lined on the heart monitor. He died. And then it happened, all the sounds and sensations returned to my body in full force. I then heard the doctor yelling for my husband and I to "get out" of the room as she rushed towards my son. And then some nurse pushed us out of the room. Code blue was called and a team came to again work on his body. I stood outside with my husband holding me as I cried "he can go, he can go."
only later as my husband and I were put into a doctor's office and made those
phone calls that no parents wants to ever make, that I again recalled seeing my
father. I then immediately told my husband that I had seen my father and he was
so happy to know that because he knew it had to be true because my father would
have done such a thing. And he knew the strong love my son and his grandfather
shared. I don't know how I would have been able to just walk away from that
hospital and leave my son behind as I was his caregiver for all those years, he
was ill from birth. I thanked God for his vision and it has brought me the
peace of mind in knowing we aren't alone when we die and we are with those we
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? No
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? No
Did you see the deceased? Yes
My father wasted away before he died, he was skin and bones when he always had some extra weight around his middle section and under his neck. The last years of his life he was proud to lose the weight before he got so sick and then became too thin. But in the vision I noticed he had his weight back and even had a little bit around the middle section again.
He also had issues with confusion from low oxygen levels so one day several months before he died when he went to get his hair cut, he let them perm his hair. He had thick black hair that he combed straight back before the perm. And in the vision he had his old hair style back where it wasn't curly but combed straight back.
He also had on an older pair of glasses not the exact ones he had before he died. He also had on his favorite plaid dress shirt. He always wore these certain outfits together. He had this one brown plaid shirt he wore with these brown dress pants. I also noticed he had on his western belt buckle. Which I thought was strange because he never wore it with any of his other clothes. He was always very particular to not mixed up these outfits. He would have never wore the western belt buckle with that outfit. He only wore it with western clothes and that was when it was the local fair days.I then noticed as I looked at his feet that he had shoes on with laces and no house shoes. I was surprised at seeing that too for some reason. And he looked younger then when he had died. The disease at made him look very old. And that is how I always recalled him, I recalled him in mind how he looked before he died and not the age in the vision.
Did you meet
or see any other beings other than the deceased?
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? Yes
My father was there in the hospital room but yet it appeared as if he was in a different space.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
Mostly with other families who have lost children. And it helps with families who were not there when their child has died. They think that maybe their child wasn't alone after all. So this vision has brought a lot peace to many people who truly need to find it.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes
When I was 17 years old and had surgery, I was unconscious for 12 hours afterwards. I left my body and went to this place and was surround by light but I kept thinking I am not suppose to be here so I kept going back into my body and then I try to open my eyes and then I would slip back out. I was very aware of this process and thought it was part of what happened when someone has surgery. I remember thinking gee that is why it doesn't hurt, you leave your body. It wasn't until years later when I had another surgery and I told them I didn't like going to that place that they looked at me oddly and said what are you talking about, that is not what happens. And this time I woke right up after surgery.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes