Ramona V's ADC 

ADCRF Home Page
Share ADC (Web Form)
ADC Stories

Experience description:  

As I sat holding my son's hand, I noticed some subtle changes in the sense of things slowing down. I was aware of these changes in my body and mind was couldn't comment nor communicate them to those around me.  I also noticed that the sounds in ICU, the machines and moments the noises from other patients and staff seem to slowly fade away.  I also started having this strong sensation that someone was standing behind me.  As I sat looking at my son's face and was sending him my love and support.  I felt so powerless and helpless at that moment.  I knew he was in God's hand because I had prayed that morning that God's will be done no matter what it was.  And I knew it wasn't what I wanted, I wanted my son to live.

I then felt this strong pulling sensation coming from behind me.  So I turned around with my head to glance back into the space behind me.  The way the nurse and the doctor and my husband were standing they couldn't see into the room behind me because the curtain was pulled back but not all the way so I was the only one who could see into the room.  I saw an IV pole and thought oh that is what is drawing my attention away so I turned back to look at my son.  But the sensation grew even stronger so I turned my head a little further around around and saw the table the nurses use and then again turned back to my son.  But the sensation then grew so strong that it was as if the hair on the back of my neck was standing straight up.  I have heard that expression before but never knew what it meant until that moment.  My entire body felt this strong pulling sensation.  So I turned this time around with my entire body so that I could fully look at what was behind me. It was then I saw him.

It was my deceased father, full form, glowing.  I felt confused at first thinking, I see my father?  But then I took inside all the details of seeing him.  I slowly looked him over from head to toe, taking in all the details of his body, the clothes he was wearing, and the position he was standing in room.  He actually wasn't standing directly on the floor.  He was raised up somewhat but yet it appeared as if he was standing on solid ground but I saw nothing beneath his feet.  And I noticed he had shoes on with shoe laces.  He was so ill before he died that he no longer wore his shoes but had slip on leather house shoes he wore.  I saw that my father wasn't looking directly at me but almost through me as he looked at my son. (My son was very closed to his Papa as he called him, and he was three years old when my father died and he never forgot him, my son also had several visions of seeing my father before we found out why my son was so ill, that prompted me to take him to some different doctors several states away because the doctors had no diagnosis yet.  It was there we found out my son had a terminal heart condition, he was only 14 years old he died 16 months later).  He never saw my father again after the diagnosis. 

After looking my father from head to foot, I then turned to look again at my son as if I knew I should turn back. Just as my eyes laid on my son's face, he flat lined on the heart monitor. He died.  And then it happened, all the sounds and sensations returned  to my body in full force.  I then heard the doctor yelling for my husband and I  to "get out" of the room as she rushed towards my son.  And then some nurse pushed us out of the room.  Code blue was called and a team came to again work on his body.  I stood outside with my husband holding me as I cried "he can go, he can go."

It was only later as my husband and I were put into a doctor's office and made those phone calls that no parents wants to ever make, that I again recalled seeing my father. I then immediately told my husband that I had seen my father and he was so happy to know that because he knew it had to be true because my father would have done such a thing.  And he knew the strong love my son and his grandfather shared.  I don't know how I would have been able to just walk away from that hospital and leave my son behind as I was his caregiver for all those years, he was ill from birth.  I thanked God for his vision and it has brought me the peace of mind in knowing we aren't alone when we die and we are with those we love.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

My father wasted away before he died, he was skin and bones when he always had some extra weight around his middle section and under his neck.  The last years of his life he was proud to lose the weight before he got so sick and then became too thin.  But in the vision I noticed he had his weight back and even had a little bit around the middle section again. 

He also had issues with confusion from low oxygen levels so one day  several months before he died when he went to get his hair cut, he let them perm his hair. He had thick black hair that he combed straight back before the perm.  And in the vision he had his old hair style back where it wasn't curly but combed straight back. 

He also had on an older pair of glasses not the exact ones he had before he died.  He also had on his favorite plaid dress shirt.  He always wore these certain outfits together.  He had this one brown plaid shirt he wore with these brown dress pants.  I also noticed he had on his western belt buckle.  Which I thought was strange because he never wore it with any of his other clothes.  He was always very particular to not mixed up these outfits.  He would have never wore the western belt buckle with that outfit.  He only wore it with western clothes and that was when it was the local fair days. 

I then noticed as I looked at his feet that he had shoes on with laces and no house shoes.  I was surprised at seeing that too for some reason.  And he looked younger then when he had died.  The disease at made him look very old.  And that is how I always recalled him, I recalled him in mind how he looked before he died and not the age in the vision.

How clearly did the deceased appear?            He was solid, I couldn't see through him but yet he wasn't in color, it was kind of a golden brownish color.  It wasn't black and white but yet I saw no colors other then the golden brownish colors.  And he had this glow around him.

How much of the deceased did you see?       His entire body from the front.

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       I would say around 15 years younger.

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He looked very healthy.

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No and there was no way I had a clue that I would see my father at that exact moment.  That was the further thing from my mind.  I was only thinking about my son.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

He had a very serious intent look on his face.  He was totally focused on my son.  I saw no hint that he was looking at me or even saw me.  It was as if he was there to do something.  He had a mission.  I could sense that in his presence.  As if he was waiting for that moment that was about to come, my son dying.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  That our love lives on and they still are involved in our lives.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          Because there was no reason for me to thinking about my father, nor did I expect him to be there at the Children's Hospital 400+ miles from where he last lived. And the fact that he looked in a way I would have never pictured him in my mind's eye.  I would have never pictured him with his western belt buckle with that set of clothes.  And his older glasses, I was used to him wearing his newer pair.  Before then, I pictured him thin and not with the weight on.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           During the experience I was completely shocked and surprised that I was now seeing my father after him being gone 13 years.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

My son was my only child.  I struggled with thoughts that I probably wouldn't be able to go on if and when he died.  He was on a heart/lung transplant list.  So we still had hope that he could live but yet knew he could die.  I kind of had it settled in my mind that I wouldn't be able to go if he died. There was a small part of me that thought I could take the easy way out because watching him suffer and fighting for him all the years with the doctors and hospitals and them not finding the problem with his heart until it was too late was too much.  But seeing my father changed it all, I knew I had to go on and continue living no matter what.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      No worst part, the best part was that I didn't feel so helpless and so alone when my son died.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

Describe:      I have been doing work now helping people making transitions in their lives.  I am not sure where this is taking me yet.  I am going to start volunteering at a nursing to help people make the transitional changes leaving their homes and still keeping their spirits alive and well.   Most people think of a nursing home at a place of death but I think of it as a place of being reborn.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?        

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

My entire life has changed.   I am not sure where my life is heading or what I shall be doing in the future.  I am now letting life unfold as it comes and letting my heart direct me.  We recently moved from one side the United States to the other away from family and friends because we felt led here.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes

I am more open to the spiritual side of life and not so programmed to believe in the one way, only way of the Christian born again religion that I was involved with at the time of his death.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

My husband and I now have that pact.  I also have heard from my son.  We talked about these things before he died.  I had no such communication with my father.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            My emotions afterwards were only about the loss of my son.  I was grieving for him. It wasn't until months later when I finally went to put flowers on my father's grave as a way to say thank you for what he did by taking care of my son.  It wasn't until then that the realization of what I had seen hit me.  I fell to the ground at his grave and was crying so hard because I had actually had seen my father again and I realized then how much I truly missed him  still after all these years and missed seeing him.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Sense of timing slowing down, gradually everything I was conscious of faded way but it happened in a few moments and I could no longer hear the sounds going on around me.  ICU is very noisy.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

The knowledge that we are all part of something beyond here and that love is all that really matter and that is what keeps us connected and that love can reach us from beyond.  A father's love was able to reach out from beyond and give me besides the birth of my son, one of my greatest gifts I have ever been given.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I am just more open and aware of spiritual things.  I can see into people hearts more clearly, like things they are feeling that they aren't showing others.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

It felt as if I was in this timeless, space less dimension

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            Yes

My father was there in the hospital room but yet it appeared as if he was in a different space.

Have you shared this experience with others?        Yes

Mostly with other families who have lost children.  And it helps with families who were not there when their child has died.  They think that maybe their child wasn't alone after all.  So this vision has brought a lot peace to many people who truly need to find it.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

When I was 17 years old and had surgery, I was unconscious for 12 hours afterwards.  I left my body and went to this place and was surround by light but I kept thinking I am not suppose to be here so I kept going back into my body and then I try to open my eyes and then I would slip back out.  I was very aware of this process and thought it was part of what happened when someone has surgery.  I remember thinking gee that is why it doesn't hurt, you leave your body.  It wasn't until years later when I had another surgery and I told them I didn't like going to that place that they looked at me oddly and said what are you talking about, that is not what happens.  And this time I woke right up after surgery.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes