Experience description:
I was struggling
with believing in anything, any idea of God, just left me empty. My godmother,
Eileen, in the Catholic faith, which I was raised in, died. The morning she
died from a cardiac arrest, (I am pretty sure it was an M.I.), I had the
experience of being aware of my surroundings, my clock and the early morning
time...I think sometime before 0600am. I felt like I had died, no pain, no
nothing, just a consciousness that I had died. It was not like a dream but a
more powerful feeling, I thought I died, but it was wonderful, uplifting and the
sense of peace was overpowering. Then my alarm went off. I went off with the
alarm. I shared that feeling and I literally said, "I died" to my ex husband.
I went on and on all day and felt like I had died, there was a God and the
feeling was utter and complete peace. At that point and to this day, I remember
somewhat the feeling, however, now, I just remember that I had that overpowering
peaceful feeling. I new there was a God from it, and it was wonderful to be
dead, I knew we went on from that. However, I never saw anyone. I just had the
correlated feeling with the time of death with my godmother. It was not until
the next day my mother told me that Eileen had died. It freaked me out, because
she had really hurt me, rejected me and isolated me in my lifetime. I did not
think she cared much about me, but I certainly cannot deny this experience!
Was this
experience difficult to express in words?
Yes
How do you explain,
to anyone, you looked at your clock and proceeded to feel as if you had died, I
think I felt lifted up...but utter complete peace and then my alarm went off. I
was back to reality, as we all know it. I was conscious cause I looked at my
clock. Now, I do not remember the time, but it was before I would have normally
gotten up.
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
I heard nothing
Did
the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you,
or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was
communicated?
n/a
If
you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound
the deceased made when they were alive?
n/a
Is
there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
n/a
Was
there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?
n/a
Did you feel a
touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
Uncertain
That is my other
experience. The night my mother had a CVA, almost died and is now dying (on
hospice)--May 2007, I felt someone, distinctly put a warm hand on my shoulder,
(right to be exact). I was alone at work, actually right where I am now, when I
felt this.
Was
the touch familiar or unfamiliar?
Not familiar but safe,
I was not frightened.
Was
anything communicated by the touch?
I did not think so at
first, but the next day, it let me know that she was aware of me, and has helped
me through her illness. I spoke to her about this, she looked surprised. I have
no idea if it was her or another member of the family, but it was someone
comforting me!
Is
there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
no, I was alone, in the
nurses station, and this was felt firmly on my shoulder. I noted it to my
family before I knew about the CVA
Did you see the
deceased?
No
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
No
How long did the
experience last?
just long enough
to feel someone gently but firmly put a hand on my right shoulder.
Was the beginning
and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
it was as if
someone put a hand on my shoulder, and then left. my experience with my
godmother was gradual at the onset, and the end was abrupt.
Did the deceased
give you information you did not previously know?
yes, the first
experience I had let me know there was a God, not to be scared, and the second
also, let me know everything would be ok.
How do you
currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was
definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
I was not looking for anything, they occurred and then I found out what was
going on afterwards
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
Yes
first one dream like
but I was aware of the clock and the time and the second one was not dream like
and I was completely aware.
Describe in
detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:
I cannot explain any
emotions for the first one, other than peaceful, but the second one was at first
startled, but then calm.
Was there any
emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Yes
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
the best was the
certainty and peace with both experiences. the worst was trying to explain it
and have people take me seriously
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
Describe:
I am an RN, I
work in the psychiatric field and as well, with people dying. I can do that
because there is hope in a world gone wild. I know who I am, I know where I am
going...I know there is a God, a heavenly being that loves me...I felt his
love. I know that everyone that is my brother or sister on this earth deserves
to have that, and that is why I can do what I do for a living.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes I knew without a doubt there was a God, that we went on, and that death
was not to be feared but something to embrace...I now work hospice holding those
beliefs
Did
the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death,
afterlife, God, etc.?
Yes
Death Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Yes
I found out later, someone died, and later found out my mother had a stroke
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
peaceful and safe with the first, the second one was just wondering what that
was about
Was
the experience witnessed or experienced by others?
Uncertain
I
had the experience, but before I even knew she had passed away, I was telling my
story about having felt like I died and that it was wonderfully peaceful, that
there was a God, and I wished I could die again, that there was nothing to be
afraid of...my husband woke up to my sharing all of this and thought I had lost
it. I continued with the story well into the day and found out that she had
died at the same time later the next day.
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes
the
first experience definitely
Did
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
Yes
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
No
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Uncertain
maybe the first time-when I was 20 years old
Did
you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?
No
Did
you see a light?
No
Did
any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location
described above?
Yes
my
first experience seemed to be like a different place in this reality, hard to
explain, like a different dimension, not to sound silly
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher
or web site?
No
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect
the experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or
other spiritual event?
No