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Ranja's ADC

Experience description:  

My mother died due to terrible complications of an open heart surgical operation. It would really strain the reader even if I mentioned them briefly. She stayed in the ICU 23 days before she finally passed. 

One week after she passed, I was alone in my bedroom crying. My husband was in the office/sitting room, on the sofa, half sleeping and half awake, watching TV. On one hand I missed my sweet mama terribly; on the other hand I felt it was unfair that she died (we have had several pieces of evidence that this all was due to the surgeons' mistakes, but I didn't perform an necropsy, there was no point as she was gone). 

I had been asking her from the previous night to do something to show me she existed in some form. Something to prove to me that she was alive, even in  different circumstances, even in a spiritual, ethereal body. I asked her to blow the candle, which she didn't. That night I was crying so much and had decided to keep the candle lighting all night until she blew it, until she put it off. I asked her in tears and with all my heart to do me this favor. I said "I know you can do it in the form you are currently, just show me something so that I don't cry so much anymore". 

I cried and begged, over and over, for about an hour. I finally got tired, stopped crying and closed my eyes, very disappointed. I felt I did not deserve my mother's response. May be she was angry with me, this thought made me feel extremely, unbearably sad. Calming down gradually, I heard the specific sound of blowing a candle or a match. I opened my eyes wide and -yes!- it was dark, she had blown and put off the candle!  

She stayed with me all night, I felt a cold current of air cuddling me up and down. 

Since this I felt this current stroking me from time to time. I still ask her to manifest in a dream, so that I can ask her questions and see her because I miss her so much. She hasn't shown yet, it's been about 35 days since she left. I like to believe she will do something on my birthday, on July 26. I don't know what I really expect but I sure expect a surprise. She wouldn't miss my birthday for anything, even as a spirit. That's what I like to think...

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?           
All over my arms, hands and legs.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   No, it was a cold, yet urgent touch.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Just raw energy. Neither good nor bad. A raw, primitive powerful energy. Love and concern were within context.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No. Windows were closed

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        The first incident, almost all night. Afterwards she touched me for a while, then left.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The beginning was sudden. By the end I had fallen asleep

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Uncertain

As I said I comprehended raw energy. I understand she showed up because she loves me, but that's just because I know she loves me. The experience was "primitive" force.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No, none.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I received exactly what I asked for and nothing or no one else could have done it. The windows were closed, I was alone in the room

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Surprised, blessed, happy, grateful

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

I'm happy she still lives somewhere, in a different dimension. But I need to communicate with her, I need more.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best is that I know my mother lives somewhere. The worst is that once this happens once, you need more.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?   Yes

I made on with my father who is 75 and alive. He promised that he would come every Christmas and Easter, and move the lamps, to show me he exists and cares.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Grateful but longing for more. I needed and still need verbal or mental communication, maybe a dream. And a hug, of course... one last hug from my mother.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

Yes, but not in this particular incident.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     My husband didn't believe me. A good friend and reiki master did believe me and smiled with warmth. My dad just made the orthodox sign of the Cross with his hand on his chest and sighed.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       No. I wish she shows up one more time. I'm very concerned about her soul. I hope she doesn't feel angry. I hope she has found deceased friends and family. I need to know she is happy. I wish to know how to provoke communication without holding down or annoying her spirit.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    thank you. I wish you publish this. I wish to give grieving people some of the comfort and relief I was given.