Click on the link below or scroll down to read the experiences.

Experience with Grandparents.
Experience with close friend.

Experience WITH GRANDPARENTS description:



I viewed my grandmother very much as my role model, secretly praying to grow up to be "just like her". She was a rescuer in my eyes, since she was one of the few who could temper my mother's religious enthusiasm. Yet she did no wrong in the eyes of that same religious structure. Being a child, I could never voice my doubts about that religion. Lacking exposure to other religions (fundamentalism is a strong majority in that part of rural WV), I lacked the social and conceptual vocabulary to understand just how opposed to them I really was.

In any case, a few days after she died, I dreamed that Grandmother was 'lying in state' on her living room sofa, with everyone sitting around visiting, almost like an old fashioned 'wake'. Grandmother then sat up and said something I couldn't hear. Still I KNEW with unshakable certainty that the message she wanted us to get was she was well, and that life and personality...a soul if you will...exists beyond death. None of the religious requirements and overtones were present in this innate knowing...just a loving certainty. Then she laid back down.

Just as I noticed that I was the only one in the room to see her or have any sense of her speaking, I woke up. The emotional impact of the dream persisted in a way quite unlike any other dream I had before. After that dream, I KNEW the universe was innately and unconditionally loving without the conditions and restrictions of the "hellfire and brimstone" mindset I'd been force-fed my whole life. This gave me the courage to explore other spiritualities. This led to a great deal of personal autonomy and growth in every aspect of my life.

A few days after my Granddad's funeral, I saw the two of them together in a dream, in front of a vine-covered wall in a lovely garden. While it was no surprise to find my saintly grandmother alive beyond the grave, my church-avoiding ex-sailor granddad with the salty vocabulary was on less certain ground. In the dream, the two of them were together, and joyous and happy. Again, I couldn't understand what they said, even though their mouths were moving, I understood that they were together and 'on a second honeymoon'. This dream too, was more vivid with a persistent emotional tone, just as the one years before. It too confirmed my belief that spiritual truths, happiness and comfort could be found outside the fundamentalist dogma.

Both experiences were at there very essence reassuring, loving and happy.



Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?

  No
       
      Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated?

  Saw them speak, but did not hear actual words, yet had absolute certainty of the emotion and essence of the message.

       Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience?

  No, I live alone at the time. Only very loud sounds...sirens etc could ever be heard from the street or other apartments.

      Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?

  No

Did you see the deceased?

  Yes

      Describe the appearance of the deceased:

  They appeared clean and neat and happy, wearing their favorite casual clothes that they always wore shopping when I would stay with them as a child.

      How clearly did the deceased appear?

  Solid, but with slightly indistinct quality, like watching a worn VCR tape

      How much of the deceased did you see?

  All

      Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?

  The same age, or a few months younger...especially my grandfather, who looked as he did before falling ill. My grandmother died very suddenly and looked as she had the week before she died, at the time of our last visit.

      How healthy did the deceased appear to be?

  They both appeared robust and healthy, which was little change in Lucille from her appearance before her death as she died of sudden cardiac arrest secondary to rheumatic valve disease and arrhythmia. Granddad, Kenny, had been ill for about a year prior with cancer, but looked as he had prior to illness

      Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?

  I don't know how...I was asleep, alone.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?

 
      Describe:

  Happy, yet anxious to communicate their happiness and reassurance, as if they couldn't wait to tell me good news.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:

  Experience was definitely real

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:

  Shared elation at their happiness and at learning of their spiritual survival.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have:     
      Other Attitude or Belief
          When it initially happened, in good freshman psychology fashion, I considered the dreams "part of the grieving process". Now, after other experiences and after learning that dreams can be visits too, I do believe these were legitimate adcs with an important life lesson to offer.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?

  Yes
      Describe:

  As described above, it was very freeing from old religious ...I call it brainwashing even though that was never the intent. It gave me the courage and reassurance to find my own path spiritually, and that in turn has led to personal growth, happiness and comfort that otherwise would never have been possible.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?

  Yes
      Describe:

  See number 25

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  Yes
      Describe:  Vivid meditation experiences, unrelated to these dream experiences

To the best of your knowledge, did the deceased, during their life, ever have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual experience?  No
      Describe:  To the best of my knowledge, no. Dramatic religious conversions or "salvation" experiences are common in that religious subculture...even expected. But they never mentioned anything like that to me.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes
      Describe:  Just the slight fuzzy quality to the visual images and a vague awareness that I was indeed dreaming. This was at a time prior to my reading anything about lucid dreaming. Otherwise it was remarkably real.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?

  Uncertain

      Describe:

  No, just the certainty of their survival beyond death which was expected, but remarkable to me personally was that this survival was separate from religious demands. This separation was, to my level of development then, amazing

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?

  Uncertain

      Describe:

  Growing awareness and trust of my intuition, but nothing overtly paranormal

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

  Yes

      Describe:

  As previously discussed

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?

  I now find meaning and fulfillment in ways previously forbidden as wrong, or occult.

Have you shared this experience with others?

  No

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  No      

What emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?  Happiness, relief, encouragement

What was the best and worst part of your experience?

  It was all a good, loving, enlightening experience, with no down side that I can see, other than not fully appreciating it except in distant retrospect

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No
       
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes
       
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire:  It was a bit daunting...but extremely thorough! But being put through the mill so to speak served to clarify and reinforce my conclusions about the experience...making this a learning experience for me as well. I hope this may somehow be helpful to your research somehow.


Experience WITH FRIEND description:

In Nov. 2001, I was unwillingly subpoenaed to testify in a legal action against my former employer. This required my visiting the town where I lived when I worked with my friend David. While that day was stressful, it turned out my testimony was not required and I ended up having a pleasant afternoon seeking out my friends in the area that are still alive. Poor David never crossed my mind! He hadn't been in my thoughts at all for many years.

That night, or perhaps the next, I had a dream about him. First we were at a reunion party of our circle of friends from the time where we really did work together. Then suddenly I was outside talking to other friends from then, and David wasn't there...but the phone rang, and it was for me. The person answering said it was David. I responded "that's impossible...he's dead!". The dream was vivid and real, and aroused old feelings for David.

At first I just thought it was a reaction to the business trip, but for two or three days afterward, the emotional impact persisted, which had never happened before, even with the vivid profound dreams I had of my grandparents after they died. I could sense his presence, and often would look up from my work fully expecting to see him standing there. It felt as if he had been on a long trip, and I could now pick up the phone and invite him to dinner to meet my husband and daughter.

I felt there was an important lesson in this for me, and gave it much thought. First I just chalked it up to the obvious visit and death anniversaries. Then every time I was around my brother in law, I would have an intense emotional surge of remembering David and the feelings that I had for David. Finally I realized that, as much as i had hoped for a romantic relationship at the time, what I really felt for him then...and now...was the love of a brother. Then it seemed more and more that he was helping and guiding me.

I could hold a conversation in my head and almost telepathically hear his voice. My belief system does allow for "spirit guides" so to speak, and I asked him that if I was understanding everything correctly, could he please come to me in a dream. Within days, he did. Again it was vivid, and the content was that he would help me spot the problem areas of my life, even hand me the mop, but I have to clean up my own messes. In a third dream, again emotionally charged and vivid like the others, he walked up and stood beside me, and just smiled hello. I told him I loved him, and tried to ask a question about the content of a meditation image...but he had walked away and didn't answer the question...just smiled over his shoulder with a teasing,  "I know but I'm not telling" look on his face that I've seen in real life.

More remarkable than this is the daydream/meditation experiences. After the first dream in mid-Nov. 2001 I had tried to find a copy of his obituary. His family didn't put one in the local paper, and I didn't know where else one might have been published. I pieced together a good guess from what he had told me about his family and what others had told me about the funeral (I found out about his death too late to attend. It was a small country paper, but I sent a blind inquiry anyway.) After two months passed, I had no hope of finding one.

Then one day in late Feb, while the house was quiet and the baby was asleep, and I was just checking my email, I kept thinking about him, seeing him in my minds eye, could almost hear him if I listened but not in any physical way. I decided to relax and follow the images and thoughts. I closed my eyes, and could see us back in his old office with the same realistic, vivid but slightly blurred visuals of the dreams. We often would have quiet talks there in between seeing patients when the schedule was slow. I don't know how much of his side of the conversation was wishful thinking on my part, but I told him I had come to love him as a brother, and that I wished I had a picture of him, or some other tangible remembrance of him. 48 hours later, there was an envelope in the mail in answer to my inquiry of months earlier...a Xerox of his microfilmed obituary which included a picture. I've never seen an obituary with a picture, it just isn't customary here or where I grew up either one. Still, there it is.

I believe it to be tangible, undeniable proof that:

1. the dreams were indeed deliberate communication from David
2. He is near and helping me, a "spirit guide" for lack of a better term
3. the meditation/daydream images and emotions are as valid as those communicated in dreams and
4. the love I feel from him now, no matter how things went for us on earth, is also valid, and there is nothing wrong with allowing myself to accept these emotions. There have been other meditations and 'daydreams', but this is the best example.

Do you have any comments about the relationship you had with the deceased:  We were never more than friends, although I have to admit to quite a crush on him. I hoped he was my "soul mate" at one point. Things didn't progress and I moved on to meet and marry my true "soul mate", with little contact with David for several months prior to his death, and never really thought of him at all in the six years after his death.

id you sense an awareness or presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them ?  Uncertain
      Describe:  In the dreams, no...I clearly saw him, heard him, and in the most recent one felt him brush by my shoulder, and could almost smell his after shave, but not quite, like that part was relying on a memory no longer there.

In the days following the first dream, though, it was purely a sense of him while I was wide awake, with no tangible sense to base it on...it is this part of everything that is the hardest to describe because it was the only purely extrasensory experience I've ever had.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?  Yes
      Describe:  I the one dream, I clearly heard his voice. In meditations, and other time, I can sense his words, and it is almost like a telepathic hearing of his voice, but I'm not really sure how to describe that part. In the meditation I related earlier with the picture and the obituary, I felt he said "I know. I love you too"...yet I still wonder if that was my imagination.
      Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated?  In the dream, it sounded just as it would in real life...in meditation, it was more a sensing of the words...hearing them, but not directly with my ears...as if it was his voice, but the sound bypassed my ears and went directly in an understandable fashion to the auditory centers of my brain...again for lack of a better description

      If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar to the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?  It was absolutely his voice, identical to that in life.

      How clearly did you hear the deceased?  In the dream, quite clearly. In the meditations the understanding is clear, but the voice is hard to describe, as above.

      Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  In the dreams, I doubt it. It was the middle of the night, and I awoke after the dream to find all was quiet...even if my husband was talking in his sleep, which he to my knowledge does not do, their speech is different...even different accents. David is from Pennsylvania...my husband is from Texas.

      Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?  Uncertain

      Where and how were you touched?  In a dream once, I felt him brush by my shoulder and stand next to me. Otherwise, no.

      Was the touch familiar?  Familiar...it was a light brush like any one might feel walking by people in a crowded amusement park...which was the setting of that particular dream.

      Was anything communicated by the touch?  just "I am here" sort of feeling/emotion

      Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  Yes, easily. My husband could have easily touched my shoulder while we were sleeping. I never really thought about the component of touch until you asked about it here

Did you see the deceased?  Yes

      Describe the appearance of the deceased:  He appeared identical to the last time I saw him alive.

      How clearly did the deceased appear?  In the dreams, it was like a real event...solid, utterly believable. In meditations, the images are softer, like a distant memory of a real event.

      How much of the deceased did you see?  All. He was even wearing his favorite penny loafers!

      Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?  He appeared to be as I last saw him alive, about 8 months before he died. I don't know of any major changes in the interim...his death was sudden, with no long term illness changes.

      How healthy did the deceased appear to be?  His diabetes was fairly well managed. He ate well, and exercised, and seemed vital and strong, which is why his passing was such a shock to me. He died on a boating vacation. When I first heard, I thought it was a snorkeling accident or something, not his illness!

      Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  No...in my dreams, it was dark in the room. In meditation, I was alone, with my eyes closed.

How long did the experience last?  Uncertain...a few minutes at most

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?  gradual.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?  Calm. Centered. Balanced. Peaceful. At one with himself.
      Describe:  Calm. Centered. Balanced. Peaceful. At one with himself.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  One meditation showed me a box of old letters addressed to me but never delivered, and his jacket that he wore all the time when we were friends. I could feel the jacket around my shoulders, and it made me feel peaceful and loved. The images stopped before any words or information could be conveyed. I wonder if there is some other message, or some other tangible remembrance out there for me still.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:  Experience was definitely real

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  It was an intense resurgence of an emotion that I recognized as being the feelings that I had for David in the past, but also a slight frustration because I could no longer label, or identify the emotions. It wasn't as superficial as a schoolgirl crush, yet it wasn't true romantic love by any means. I only have a younger sister with whom I am not very close...but after a time I realized that this is what it would feel like to have an older brother, that I have as real and abiding love for David as I would have for any true, genetic brother.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have:     
      Other Attitude or Belief
          confirms, solidifies beliefs that have formed over the past several years. Expands my definitions of love and my appreciation of my family

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?  Yes
      Describe:  see # 24

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes
      Describe:  David and I had both been raised in very religiously focused, strongly fundamentalist families, in area of the country where that religion and culture is the overwhelming majority. We had both come to similar conclusions about our childhood experiences with that type of religion. That common experience was the common bond that sparked our friendship, especially since the community where we lived and worked at the time was strongly catholic with little or no fundamentalist influence. They had never been exposed to it and had no idea of the emotional impact we had experienced in living with it.

We both had left the practice of Christianity to one extent or another...he was considering Judaism, and I was drawn to eastern and earth based philosophies. Even though he started going to church again with his sister, I don't think it was with a wholehearted belief in that dogma. Knowing that he isn't swimming in brimstone reassures me that taking a non-fundamentalist path isn't necessarily a one way ticket to the seventh level of hell, as my family believes it to be. If David was in a fundamentalist heaven, he would be trying to convert me from the other side, not radiating peace, love and leading to ideas like "spirit guides"!

More importantly, I've learned that love transcends time, and traditional definitions of family. Love stands beside love. While we may have only been work-pals in life, I can love this man as a brother and feel he loves me as a sister, and it takes nothing away from what I feel for my husband, daughter and family. If anything it deepens and enhances the love I feel for family and friends here.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes
      Describe:  It was a dream, or a dream like image/impression/feeling during meditation

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?  Yes

      Describe:  In a meditation I saw David, but also my other "spirit guides"...never known to me in physical life, Kwan Yin, and an angel "Gabriel, the bringer of dreams"

I saw us all connected by silver threads, and know they were indeed my "guides". It was mostly a sense of confirming thoughts and meditations I had in the past, and a sense of peace and connectedness. This is a separate incidence from any meditation or dreams thus far in this form.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I wish I could verify the existence of a message or letter from him for me, or if he wants me to give a message to some one else on his behalf...but nothing has surfaced so far, and I have had no contact with anyone who knew him well to find out anything tangible. 

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes

      Describe:  In meditation, there were distinctive, recognizable places...his office, apartment, the parking lot of his building, restaurants we went to when he was alive. One dream was at Sea World.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I have greater confidence in my intuition. I drew a tarot card once, asking "is David my spirit guide"...the automated internet interpretation that came with the card could was as unequivocal of a "yes" as you can get from an oracle tool like that. Since, I've been strongly drawn to developing intuitive abilities, learning to "read" tarot for people, intuitive healing, etc.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  No

      Describe:  Just a strengthening of existing ones

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  It has given them a renewed and greater depth and richness...like when they restored the renaissance works of DaVinci to find the colors so much darker and richer than previously thought.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  She was wonderfully supportive and encouraging. She was the one who told me of John Edward and his books, and websites which in turn led me to this one, in the hopes of learning more. She told me...the first and only person in which she has confided this...that she has had similar experiences with deceased family members.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  Yes
      Describe:  Via an online narrative submitted to the "adc project" at after-death.com, associated with Bill and Judy Guggenhiem.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The emotions. The worst is the uncertainty that this is all wishful thinking or some delusional fulfillment of old issues.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No
      Describe:  I take no medications, just vitamins, no recreational drugs, and drink rarely, usually just 1 glass of wine with dinner. my meditation time is usually late afternoon

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes