When I was in high school, I met a girl that had two kids. Jake, 3 and Megan, 2. I introduced MY brother to this girl and they started dating. I became the baby sitter.. They eventually had a kid together. When the split up, I stayed still babysitting... years passed. The kids grew. Megan was a freshman in high school when I realized I was in love with her. Thinking back, I believe she knew this before I ever admitted it to her. She came onto me on several occasions.. As much as I wanted her, and loved her, I chose to leave instead of getting involved. Five years went by.

On May 23rd, 2014 she was killed in a car collision at 5:08 am. I woke up at the same time, 5:08 am, 1200 miles away. I had no idea that she was dead. I sat in the dark and as it started getting light out, I received a call and was informed of her death. I remember this day and always will. I played on my floor wanting to kill myself for five days. The sixth day I stood obsessed suddenly with going to the place she had been killed... less than 24 hours later, I stepped off a plane and got into a friends truck. He drove me immediately to the place she died. As I approached I felt wild energy.. I fell to my knees in front of a picture of her on the bank next to the highway. That's when it happened. She flooded into me... energy like I've never experienced... She answers every question I thought I would never know, eased all my doubts.  The person that brought me to the spot was screaming. As I stood finally I wasn't me... I was her. Her last moment.. Her fear, what she seen.. then a huge red flash a giant heart beat pulse darkness fear a bright pin point of light racing toward it, then blinding light. Then I'm alongside the highway looking at her picture again. I went to that spot everyday for four days.. I didn't realize on the forth day that I would be flying home the next day, I took the picture. As I was leaving I felt a thought " don't leave me here" I turned around, jumped the ditch and grabbed that picture. I still have it. It still changes expressions to me.. It's the truth. This is my experience. I've come close to insanity because of it.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  I woke up at the very exact moment that she was killed. I was 1200 miles away.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     It's hard to describe

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    110% alert

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I knew it was really happening. I could hear my friend screaming behind me.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   It has never happened in my life before. Like that. I do have two more experience s. Before as a child then after this.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Couldn't hear anything except what my friend was screaming. No passing cars, birds nothing but screaming

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Uncertain   I don't know what this question means.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Grief relief happiness mostly awe.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Uncertain   A vast darkness then brilliant light...

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
It was her but not her. She wasn't human. She was greater.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   Already described above.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes   Yes. Don't want to describe.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place
Described already.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It seemed I was there for five minutes. 4 hours passed.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No


Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain
Don't understand.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (life after death)?   Yes   Just that her face will be the first that I see when I die. I was waiting for her in life(to become an adult) she us now waiting for me.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Uncertain   I felt it's vastness

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly lifes meaning or purpose?   Yes  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly lifes difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Became aware that love made this experience possible. True love. Became aware that love is our purpose for living.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   Already explained above.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I had no beliefs at the time.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   It is in my memory with extreme clarity.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Depression. I want to be where she is.. MY soul aches to be with her.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   There is something after.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   A dead peacock.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     Yes but not sure of purpose.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  A few days.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   It happened or I'm fucking nuts.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It was real. No doubt.. It is real. She lets me know daily. Mostly the radio.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Friend that took me to spot she died no longer friends. Not once has he spoken to me since.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   There is without doubt, belief beyond Faith there is life after this.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Uncertain   Don't understand.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   It is the most significant amazing awesome experience of my life

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   I need to talk about it. Helps me stay sane.. There must be others.