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Rosemary K's ADC

Experience description:  

I made the difficult decision to have Ellie put to sleep after she was diagnosed with a cancerous bladder tumor that was close to completely blocking her urinary tract.  She was beginning to suffer pain from it and was clearly not well.  She was 17 years old.  That night (or actually the following morning, as I had fallen back to sleep after being awake for awhile), she appeared suddenly in a dream, in which she leaped up onto the foot of the bed and came over to where I was (standing beside the head of the bed) - she was coal-black as in her younger years and full of energy, and she was so happy her whole body was wiggling.  I was so happy to see her and be with her, I just petted her and petted her.  The dream ended then.  It was overall very brief, which is extremely unusual for me, as my dreams tend to ramble endlessly from one strange scene to another.  This dream was vivid, brief and powerful, with a profound emotional context.  I believe this was a visitation from Ellie, because I honestly don't think my subconscious could have produced such a joyful dream from the anguished state I was in at the time.  Plus, she looked and acted just as she had in her prime, and it had been quite some time since I had thought of her in that way.  Her fur was mostly gray or white when she passed, but was jet black in the dream, and she was wiggling like a pup.  My mother also dreamed about her that night, and in her dream she was also young, healthy and ecstatically happy.  The message in both dreams was the same - I'm fine, I'm happy, and I love my mom.  This has been a tremendous comfort to me.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     No  

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   No                                   

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   Yes  

Describe where and how you were touched:     Ellie came to me and I petted her.  I could distinctly feel the texture of her fur and the warmth of her body.

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   It was very familiar.  

Was anything communicated by the touch?   Pure love.

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No.

Did you see the deceased?   Yes    She was exactly as she was when she was young and healthy.

How clearly did the deceased appear?   Solid

How much of the deceased did you see?    All of her

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?   No, much younger

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?    Very healthy.  She was dying of old age and cancer before she died, young and exuberantly healthy in the dream.

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?    No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    No                

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     She was ecstatic.  So was I.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    I was suffering severe emotional distress at the time.  The joyfulness of the experience was not something I feel I would have or could have produced from my own subconscious at the time, not to mention Ellie's appearance and behavior, which was consistent with her much younger self.  My mother's similar dream also supports this belief.

Was the experience dream like in any way?    Yes    It was a dream, or at least it occurred while I was sleeping.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    Yes    The experience was an affirmation that Ellie still exists in some form, that she's happy and doing fine, and that she loved me enough to give me this precious gift before making her way.  It gives me hope that I will see her and be with her again when my own time comes to cross over.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    Best - seeing her and petting her, whole, healthy and happy.  Worst - way too short.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    No        

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?    No   

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Yes    Nothing really new, but an affirmation.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    Yes    My mother had a similar dream of Ellie at about the same time, in which Ellie was on her hind legs, her front paws on me, her tail wagging "a mile a minute".

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        No   

Did you become aware of future events?           No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No   

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No   

Did you see a light?    No   

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    Family members - they knew Ellie well enough to believe that she would do something like this if she could.  My mother had her own experience, so there was mutual affirmation there.  My husband was jealous that he didn't get the same kind of visitation - he loved Ellie as much as I did.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No   

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?    No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No   

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      Uncertain    Coincidental occurrences many times throughout life that have saved me from death or serious medical consequences.  I get the distinct impression that someone is looking out for me.  Not sure if that qualifies as spiritual events.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes