After Richards untimely passing I found myself grappling with the question of life after death. It was very hard to come to terms with his passing and I was reading anything I could lay my hands on about Life after Death. Someone had suggested that I get hold of Michael Newton's book 'Journey of Souls'. I read this and it did put my mind a little at ease but I still had questions.
There was no particular reason or significance to the date that I had this dream but Richard obviously felt that the time was right. In my dream I walked into my daughters room and there he was sitting on the chair holding her as he did during his time on earth.
I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry so I just started grabbing his arm to make sure that he was real. He was very solid, I could even smell his aftershave. I was half laughing half crying and just kept saying "My God , you're real, you are here." He was very nonchalant about it and kept saying yeah yeah. I then asked him if where he was, was anything like I had read in the book He replied that yeah it was pretty much like it and that he was happy and keeping himself busy. He was even wearing his favorite t-shirt.
actually remember waking up from the dream. It seemed to flow into me
suddenly being awake in my bed.
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe: He said that he was happy and keeping himself busy.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated? It was like he was there , I was talking to him
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar to the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? It was exact. Richard was never one to make much of a fuss about himself and this was evident in his response to my being overwhelmed at being able to touch him. I almost got the feeling that he was telling me that he was still around
How clearly did you hear the deceased? As clear as a bell
Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
Where and how were you touched? I grabbed hold of his arm and kept squeezing it to make sure that he was real
Was the touch familiar? Familiar
Was anything communicated by the touch? Just how real he was
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Did you see the deceased? Yes
Describe the appearance of the deceased: His hair was slightly longer but it was the same as when he was here
How clearly did the deceased appear? Solid , I felt him
How much of the deceased did you see? All of him
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? Yes
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? He was quite healthy. He had not been ill before his death
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Did you smell a distinct smell, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe: His aftershave and the smell of him. It was sort of clean laundry smell as if you have just put on clean clothes
Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar? Yes , very
Was anything communicated by the smell? Just that it was definitely Richard
Is there any possibility the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience? No
How long did the experience last? It was a dream but it would seem to have lasted for about 10 minutes
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? It all seemed to flow. It was as if I could feel myself getting out of bed to go to my daughters room and there he was. Courtney as very content and the whole thing was very relaxed
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? He just wanted to come and say hello
Describe: He just wanted to come and say hello
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? No future reading or anything like that. Just that he was happy and keeping himself busy. It was almost as though he wanted to make sure tat I knew that he was still around
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real. I was asleep but the dream was so vivid I was sure that it was real. I had never had anything like this before. My dreams are usually very jumbled as if my mind is sorting out its filing cabinet but this was real I actually touched him.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: I was half laughing and half crying. It was so good to see him again and to feel him. He was solid. I kept grabbing at his arm to make sure.
What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have: Joy
Other Attitude or Belief
My brother came to me to tell me that he was not gone
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
Describe: I now know that life goes on. And that although he may not still physically be around. I sense him many times. Sometimes a smell and sometimes its as if he is standing behind me looking over my shoulder. I know its him because it usually happens when I am cooking and Richard loved his grub.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes
Describe: I do not believe in a God per say in the Biblical term. I believe that there is an all powerful being and a creator but I feel that the Bible was initially used to scare people into submission. My God is a supremely wise being that is there to oversee things. I believe in guides that are there to help us.
Have you ever made a death compact? Yes
Describe: Yes , I have made my husband ( who I believe is my soul mate )promise to let me know that he is okay if anything ever happens to him. Its difficult though as he is still skeptical.
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes
Describe: Yes . My Grandmother has come to see me a few times and once I signed onto Bruce Moen's website and was going through it. On the off chance, I left a message on his website asking a few questions but not giving much detail of anything. The next night there was an e-mail from Bruce and he gave me a message from my brother. The Christmas before he passed on , he bought this rock and roll reindeer and just loved it. After he passed on I put it away so that my daughter could not get hold of it. Bruce told me to go and get it out of the cupboard. I think I'm still to scared to do that astro travel stuff.
To the best of your knowledge, did the deceased, during their life, ever have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual experience? Yes
Describe: The week before he passed on he had a premonition that something was going to happen that weekend and he said that he had felt what he thought was ghosts around him.
experience dream like in any way?
Describe: He just had a feeling that we all sort of laughed off. You don't know how many times I wished that I had paid more attention to it.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes
Describe: Once my Grandmother came to me in an orchard. It was beautiful. She was wearing a blouse that I later found in my mothers cupboard. I don't recall my Grandmother ever wearing it though when she was alive
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
In all of my experiences a have come to the conclusion that the members of my
family that have passed on are all happy. I know it sounds clichéd' but I just
feel that they are with me, especially my Grandmother.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes
I pay more attention to my gut feelings and am also more acutely aware that I am
very protected. I can always feel when something is not right. I seem to have
developed some sort of sixth sense. I know it sounds crazy but if I go with my
gut feel I know I am right.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
Describe: I now truly believe that life does go on. If you base it on the scientific fact that energy can neither be created nor destroyed I feel that life is an energy and that we do go on. I do not fear death but I always feel for the ones that are left behind. Those are the ones that have to come to terms with a loss and the whole thing of the as yet, unknown
Has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices etc.? Career choices? I try not to be judgmental. My belief of a hell is that during a life review you get to feel how you have made others feel. If this is bad then you will feel their pain. I believe that for those despots in life , their personal hell is feeling how they made others feel. I can't think of anything worse that having that kind of pain. Physical and mental. I try and live life to the fullest and to want what I have got and not to keep pining over getting what I want.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
Most people view it with complete skepticism. I think that "death" is still a
very taboo subject and people do not really want to be reminded of their own
mortality. Sometimes I feel that people regard me as a little morbid but I feel
that it will be a good thing to have learned from this life and ten to go join
up with all those that have gone before me and have a laugh.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
What emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience? It was a feeling of joy that I now knew that he was not gone. He was just not there physically. I still miss him dreadfully but I know that he is in a much better place. This helps me go on knowing that there is no real finality in death.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part was actually feeling him. The worst part was knowing that he was still not physically there with me.
anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?
To some this may sound very clichéd but I am not the
type of person that is really away with the fairies. I am a very grounded person
and maybe this is what stuns people when I do talk about my experiences ( which
isn't often )I have tried to keep a diary of these experiences and have even
ventured once or twice to the spiritualist church on my own. I have had people
whom I do not know from Adam tell me that I am very protected and that there are
a lot of my loved ones looking after me.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes
Describe: I just really try to be a good person and if called upon I will share my experiences. I am more aware of myself as a person and the influences that I can have on other peoples lives. I shall try to make these good and help where I can. Heck , I am no angel but I just try to understand where people are coming from with their points of view. I can listen to someone else's point of view without making it my own and without trying to impose my beliefs on them.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Describe: I hope that I have not sounded to airy fairy with my experience. But you have no idea the joy and relief that I experienced knowing that he was still there.