Sara M's 2nd
Robert, my brother, has been sending me Smiley Faces for almost a month now. Possessed of a unique brand of humor, a quick wit and a talent for mimicry, it’s just something he would do. What is most unusual about Rob’s humorous gifts is they began to arrive the morning after his death.
Rob died in the early hours of a Sunday, likely of a heart attack. At 46, he had been living for several years with heart failure brought on by a 26-year struggle with Diabetes.
The morning after Rob’s death, before I finally fell asleep, I asked him to visit me. I did however ask him not to come in bodily form because I was home alone and felt frightened.
Four hours later I opened my eyes and looking straight at me was a Smiley Face.
I had flowers on the nightstand and had placed stones in the bottom of the glass vase. One turned out to be a smooth black rock engraved by Nature with two eyes and a smile. I laughed and thought, “That’s Robert’s sense of humor.” I fished the rock out of its glass house and carried it with me.
That evening my sister Lisabeth came out of Robert’s room wearing his big, furry Koala bear slippers. She said they felt worn and turned them over to inspect their soles. To our happy surprise, we discovered that on the bottom of each slipper Robert had drawn a Smiley Face.
Five days later while walking home, I was deep in thought about Robert and his approaching memorial. I had just purchased a shirt to wear in his honor. I was thinking about how funny Robert would think it was if his four sisters showed up at his funeral wearing bright red T-shirts emblazoned with the words “Stayin’ Alive”. Just then I glanced at the ground. Something sparkled in the bright sunlight. Looking straight up at me was a blue bottle cap imprinted with a silver Smiley Face.
Laughing, crying and thanking Robert, I retrieved the Smiley Face and carried it with me.
The night following Robert’s memorial my sister and I drove his son to a nearby town, to the home of friends where he was staying. It was a dark night and on the drive back to our mother’s house I screamed! Not a good thing to do when you’re a passenger in a vehicle traveling at 100 kilometers an hour. My frightened sister thought I’d seen a dead body on the highway. No. High on a fence fronting someone’s property and glowing in the dark, was a giant Smiley Face.
My niece Cara moved home from another province only days after Uncle Rob’s death. Knowing nothing of the Smiley Faces, she presented me with a gift she had intended for Robert because it reminded her so much of him. It was meant for the end of a pencil -- sporting a cowboy hat, a bright yellow Smiley Face. I held it tenderly in the palm of my left hand and carried it with me.
Twenty-six days after my brother’s death, I arrived home from work feeling very sad. I sat down, looked at the Smiley faces gracing my coffee table, smiled and said, “Thank you Robert.” Just then, in my head I heard his voice, “Turn on the radio Sa. I’ve got a song for you.” I jumped up and turned it on. It was playing some jazzy music but no words. “Next song,” I thought.
I settled down on the couch to listen to the music and then I recognized it. “Put on a happy face.”
experience difficult to express in words?
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: I had just arrived home from work and was feeling very sad, thinking about Robert and looking at the Smiley Faces he had sent me since he died. I smiled and thanked him. Then suddenly, in my head, I very clearly heard him say in his voice, “Turn on the radio Sa. I’ve got a song for you.” I jumped up and turned it on. It was playing some jazzy music but no words. “Next song,” I thought. I settled down on the couch to listen to the music and then I recognized it. “Put on a happy face.” Robert was known all his life for his wacky sense of humor. He loved entertaining people. He also loved music. As for calling me Sa, that's what only my siblings have called me since our childhood.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? I heard his voice in my head.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? It was my brother's voice.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No.
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? No
Did you see the deceased? Yes
I didn't see him, but one sister, one niece and his girlfriend all saw him in the days following his death.
How clearly did the deceased appear? They told me he looked just like he was standing right there. My sister said he had long hair (like he did when he was younger and healthier). This particular sister said she never believed in these things until our brother's death and she experienced them for herself.
How much of the deceased did you see? My sister and niece saw all of him, standing in familiar poses. His girlfriend saw the outline of him in her bedroom door and she felt his presence.
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? He appeared younger with long hair like he had before his health declined. In the last few years of his life his beautiful, long, naturally curly hair became sparse, straight, dry and coarse, like doll's hair.
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? He looked healthier, the most visible barometer being his hair.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No.
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? The Smiley Faces started arriving the morning after his death and have been coming for a month now.
and his girlfriend saw him briefly the night after his death. My sister was
sleeping in his bedroom at our mother's house and dreamed she saw him standing
over the bed looking at her with his arms crossed, a pose he often used. His
girlfriend was trying to fall asleep the same night in another city hundreds of
miles away when she saw his outline in her bedroom door. She said, "You're here,
aren't you?" He didn't answer. My niece saw him at my mother's house when she
was trying to fall asleep the night before his funeral. She said he was standing
in the porch, which is off the sunroom where she was sleeping. He was wearing
his cowboy hat, long white shirt and black jeans, and holding a beer. She was
scared so she went under the covers. Then she peeked out and saw him turn and
walk out the porch door. In the morning she checked the door and it was locked.
She's 18 and describes her experience as "freaky".
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? My experiences with the arrival of various Smiley Faces is sudden and unexpected.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Uncertain
He's sending Smiley Faces, so it makes me think he's enjoying himself. It's just like him to be a prankster and also, to show us that he loves us because we are a very close and loving family, especially the seven of us siblings.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? If I had seen the Smiley Faces my brother had drawn on the soles of his slippers first (none of us knew about them before he died), before any of the other Smiley Faces showed up, I would have thought that I was perhaps "creating" the occurrences of Smiley Faces in my life following his death -- just like when you buy a new car, and suddenly, it seems as though everyone is driving the same car as the one you just bought. But I didn't see the slippers first and in fact, the first Smiley Face appeared the morning after my brother's death after I asked him to communicate with me. For me, the slippers verified that the communication I'd had from my brother was real.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: The number of Smiley Faces that have come into my life since my brother's death and the timing of their arrival (i.e. when I was thinking of him and grieving, whether alone or with my family) tell me it's more than mere coincidence.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: A mixture of sad and happy, crying and laughing, very emotional, sad because he's gone, happy because he can still communicate with us.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
I'm still grieving, but it's wonderful to have love and hope.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? No worst part at all. Best part -- messages from my brother after I was so sad at his passing. I still cry but it makes grieving so much easier on my heart and soul. And he's still making me laugh, like he did in life.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes
Describe: I pray more. I spend much more time alone.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
Re-affirmed my past experiences. I've become more spiritual.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes, Reaffirmed my belief in God and life after death.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? Yes, With my twin sister. Our brother was not included in the compact.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes
Upon leaving the funeral home after viewing our brother's body, one sister said she was so startled, she jumped back from the coffin because she heard him breathing. It was then that I told her I too heard breathing but I attributed it to his energy or soul that I sensed about a foot above his body.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Following these experiences, I felt elated.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes
When my siblings, his girlfriend and I viewed our brother's body at the funeral home, each of us very distinctly "felt" his presence. One sister told us she heard him breathing and jumped back from the coffin. Only then did I tell her that I thought I heard him breathing, so I looked long and carefully at his body. I sensed energy, his soul, about a foot above his body to which I attributed the sound of breathing. Sensing him, I talked to my brother. I was not upset at seeing his body because I knew he wasn't in it.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes, Altered space as described above.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
It's very exciting to know that our lives continue after death, that we continue to love, learn and grow, that our personalities are still intact. It's very moving to have these after death communications from our loved ones.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? Yes
I was home one night sitting on the couch thinking about my brother. I said a prayer, closed my eyes and there was my deceased father's brother, whom I had never met and who died 18 months ago. I've never seen a picture of him, so I don't know what he looks like. But I know that my father and another of their brothers looked very much alike whereas this brother who appeared to me, though he definitely bears a family resemblance, is different.
I asked him how Robert was. He said he's resting -- sometimes he's happy to be there, other times he wants to be back here. My uncle told me that it takes a period of adjustment. I asked him how Dad was. He said he's busy working.
appeared to me again a few days later. He and my brother were very troubled in
life, the same troubles. My uncle said he had found his calling. He is a guide
who meets people when they die, people who have experienced the same troubles as
he did on Earth. (Up until this time, I thought that when we die it was just
deceased family members who met us. I never really thought about being met by
anyone else, other than the Light.) My uncle said that he would be training my
brother to be a guide. He also showed me a photo of what he looked like just
before he died (I plan to contact my uncle's family for the first time and hope
to see photographs of him). My uncle turned to walk away, then looked back and
said, "Thank you for writing the family history." (I did it just this year.) I
thanked him for helping me.
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? Yes
When my uncle appeared, it seemed as though he and I were somewhere in-between here and there. It was dark, but I could see him clearly.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
I shared mostly with my family, some of whom had their own experiences with Robert after he died. I shared with one friend who listened but seemed a bit skeptical, perhaps because she grew up in another culture. Her reaction makes me reluctant to share with others, though eventually I will because I'm a very open person.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes
I reported other experiences on this Web site http://www.adcrf.org/sara_m's_adc.htm
questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. Lots of questions, very thorough. Thank you.