Sarah S' ADC 1892
At the time of his death, Dad a 59 year old (Ret.) Police Sgt. and I was a 34 year old Police Officer in a neighboring city. For many years, I've silently and deeply grieved the loss of this "larger than life" man. Dad was a true teacher, mentor and confidant. We shared deep love and respect towards each other. His sudden death has felt like a gaping, open wound in my heart and soul.
Dad's death was a shocking accident. It was caused by a Cardiologist who had performed an (unscheduled) angioplasty. The doctor did not realize he had nicked the artery and paid no attention to obvious signs Dad was dying. Within a few hours, blood filled the heart sac and basically crushed Dad's heart. He died, whilst in horrible pain, on the operating table. My Mom, an R.N., was in the waiting room at the hospital and witnessed his pain as he was being wheeled into the O.R.
One night, whilst sleeping, I had what can only be described as a dream which felt "real." It occurred approximately 7 or 8 years after his death. In this "dream," I saw a white, formless shape upwards and to my left. The sky was behind it as it approached me. As it drew closer, I realized it was my father but it did not look like him.
The next thing I knew, this "cloud" passed through my soul. It was my Dad's own SOUL! I could FEEL Dad's soul INSIDE of my own soul! He was filled with pure joy, pure happiness. It was the most amazing thing/feeling that has ever happened to me!
No verbal words were exchanged between us. It felt as though he wanted me to know how happy and joyful he was. That feeling lasted for less than a minute. Then, in some way I cannot explain, he communicated to me he had to leave.
I did NOT want him to go but knew he must. He was on his way to complete some kind "mission" God had directed him to complete. Dad did not explain the mission or it's location but it felt as though it was an important matter. His soul left me and continued on towards my right and disappeared.
I woke up crying tears of happiness. Dad was happy! Joyful! He was doing fine and that was what I needed to know. The experience helped me begin my own personal journey towards connecting with God and developing an understanding our souls do not die.
Dad has come to see me in two other dreams that felt real. The first one happened before this incident and the second was approximately 5 years ago. Both times no words were exchanged but he gave me a big hug just like he used to do. It's always so good to see him. He also has given one of my brothers a big hug in a dream. (I have 5 brothers/sisters but none have experienced what I described above.)
this experience difficult to express in words?
Somewhat difficult. It was an unusual experience and I'd never heard of it happening to anyone else.
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Uncertain
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: Dad did not speak out loud to me but he did somehow communicate information from his mind to my mind. Telepathic? I'm uncertain.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? It was internal communication, not external.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No, I was alone in my bed by myself all night. My son was asleep downstairs in his own room.
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Uncertain
Dad's soul passed through my soul but I didn't feel it enter. I just started feeling all of the joy and happiness within HIM.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? Unfamiliar. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before, or since, that time.
Was anything communicated by the touch? Yes, his joy and happiness. But I did not feel it "physically." It was felt emotionally.
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No, I was alone.
Did you see the deceased? Yes
I didn't recognize Dad as he did not look like "himself" as he did in life. I believe what I saw was his soul.
How clearly did the deceased appear? White, formless, cloud-like.
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? Unknown.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No, I was sound asleep.
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
See description in my narrative (above.)
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Yes! :) See my description in narrative (above.)
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: It "felt" real...not like any dream I've ever experienced. I remember every detail even though it happened years ago. This has never happened with any other dream.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: It was a wonderful feeling! I was so happy to know my Dad was okay and so filled with joy.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
Oh yes it was emotionally healing to feel he was doing so well. I just hated the thought of him dying...scared and in pain.
Also, even though I went and saw him at the hospital the night before, I felt SO guilty for not being present. I would have been screaming at the doctor to take action if I'd have known his symptoms were being ignored! (Yes, the nurses Deposition was clear...the doctor ignored several red flag symptoms of a dying patient.)
Dad wasn't even scheduled to have the angioplasty that day...it was supposed to be done the next day. But, due to artery blockage and a clear cath lab schedule, the Cardiologist went ahead and performed it a day early.
I was working Patrol dayshift when everything happened and was supposed to go feed/water his cattle after work for him.
Mom called me earlier in the day and said Dad was having some low blood pressure trouble but she didn't seem overly concerned. My shift was short-handed and we were answering a lot of car accident, disturbance calls, etc. that day. So, I sent one of my sisters there to be with Mom and Dad so I could finish shift and then take care of his cattle.
(By the way, as you can
imagine, our entire family/friends are very leery of ANY kind of hospital
procedures/surgeries now. I'd never even heard of a doctor accidentally killing
a patient via purely and deliberately ignoring symptoms like his!)
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part was feeling Dad's joy and happiness. The worst part was when he had to leave.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Describe: See answers above regarding religious beliefs/practices.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes Yes, it appears our physical body is not who we REALLY are. Our soul is who we really are!
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes Yes, it appears our physical body is not who we REALLY are. Our soul is who we really are!
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? As soon as he left, I immediately woke up crying. Tears of joy were streaming down my face. It was such a relief to know Dad was doing well. I can't wait to see him again.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Uncertain
It felt like less than a minute but could have been longer. Time didn't matter...only the feeling of being connected to his soul.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
Yes, it appears God has work/missions for us to complete after death. I don't know what they are but it appears to be important work.
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Uncertain
Uncertain because I was asleep.
Did you meet or see
any other beings other than the deceased?
Did you see a light? No
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? No
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes Yes, my family. I think they believe me but were surprised since we were raised in the Catholic "box" of beliefs.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? Uncertain
Well, I contacted Dr. Long by e-mail shortly after it occurred and provided a brief description. But this is the first time I've submitted all of the information to a researcher or web site.
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? It was a wonderful experience and I'd love to "see" my Dad again soon.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. Can't think of any suggestions at this time. This is a good questionnaire.