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Sari K's ADC

Experience description:  

My precious uncle (my father's brother) died of cardiac arrest in his sleep in the early hours of October 12, 2005 in New Delhi, India. I was halfway across the world at that time when I received a phone call from my cousin informing me of the same. I went into a state of disbelief as I could not understand how he could go away just like that without me having any premonition given the kind of heart to heart bond we shared. To top it, all people who mattered including our family and friends were able to see his mortal remains and were at his cremation which was within 8-10 hours of his death. Everyone was there except me. My dad called and his words brought in much needed comfort. As the hours passed by I felt miserable with the sense of loss and isolation. In my grief I started talking aloud to my uncle. I told him, "How can you go away just like that? You have to contact me." I must have repeated it umpteen times that day.  

The next day I was caught up in getting an airline ticket to go to New Delhi. In the ensuing days I did not feel much grief probably because I was looking forward to being at his memorial service to be held on October 22nd.  

Once I was in New Delhi I visited his and my aunt's home and went to their bedroom. My sense of loss was acute, I sat in front of his picture and cried and cried. At his memorial service I saw that my aunt and cousins had chosen to keep a picture of his that was taken at my wedding. Being back with my entire family was a great emotional comfort. By that time I had completely forgotten that I had asked him to contact me.

I will never forget November 1, 2005. Something wonderful happened sometime between 10:45 am and 11:15 am that day. I was in my parents' home, standing in the kitchen near the countertop cutting vegetables. I was alone. To my left on the countertop was a large size steel container filled with water and covered with a steel lid. On it lay two big heavy serving spoons of same shape, size and weight. They were both made of steel and lay parallel to each other with a few inches of space between them. I was chopping vegetables when I became aware of a faint metallic sound coming from my left. I thought it was coming from somewhere outside the kitchen and ignored it. It became a bit louder, I ignored it again. It continued and kept becoming louder and louder and I kept ignoring it because I did not think it was of any significance. Then it became so loud I could not ignore it any more. It clearly was trying to attract my attention. When I turned my head to my left I was awestruck! One of the serving spoons was jumping up and down on top of the lid and as it touched the steel surface of the lid it made that sound. My mind went completely blank. It was the only time in my conscious life I have experienced that kind of state of mind. There were no thoughts, nothing. My brain had stopped working. Then for one moment I thought I should extend my left arm and catch hold of the spoon to stop it but I just kept standing and looking. In hindsight I think this went on for thirty to forty seconds but at that time it seemed like it went on for a long time. Then it stopped and the spoon again lay parallel to the other spoon exactly as it lay before this happened. All this while the other spoon did not move at all. It seemed like I had lost the capacity to think because I finished what I was doing and then went to the living room. It was 11:15 am. It took a good thirty minutes for me to even begin to think what had just happened. And then it struck. It was my uncle contacting me as I had asked him to! My heart just knew, there was no doubt. While alive he knew I was a big time skeptic. If he had come in my dreams or if I had a vision or he had given me a sign or something like that I would never have believed and would never have got his message. He made me use my ears and my eyes to make his message clear. When this realization dawned on me I was embraced in immense love and peace and hope. I was wonderstruck! My emotional pain disappeared in an instant. No grief counselor could have done what my uncle did for me. The depth and range of my feelings are very difficult to express in words. It felt like my uncle's life continues, that I had not lost him forever, that I could still communicate with him and he would respond. It also felt like his personality had come through and I say this because in life when he had to make someone understand something he would present it in a manner that would make it very easy for the other person to understand in a sure and certain way.  

After this experience I told him if he ever suffers on the other side he should let me know and I would help him become happy. Sure enough he did. 

A little more than a year after his death he visited me in my dreams. I saw his face engulfed in fire. It was unharmed and expressionless but I was going through hellish emotional/spiritual pain. It was sheer hellish torture for me. It was like I was feeling his emotions, more like I had become him and going through his sufferings. This pain went on and on. What I find interesting is the fact that even in my sleep I was somehow aware of the fact that even though I felt the pain, it was not me but my uncle who was suffering. It is the only time I have experienced the hellish trappings of depression in my life. My uncle in the final few years of his life suffered from clinical depression which I was not aware of. It was a great relief for me when I woke up because I did not feel the pain any more even though I was emotionally drained. I offered heartfelt prayers for him to be relieved of his suffering and become happy. Even though I knew in my heart that my prayers had reached him, the skeptic in me needed actual proof. I asked him to let me know how he was doing. After some time he visited me in my dream. I saw a healthy and younger looking him standing in the southeast corner of my backyard dressed in spotless white with a serene smile on his face as if to convey to me that he was absolutely fine. He looked happy and at peace.     

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Uncertain

There are no words to express the depth and range of emotions I experienced. I don't think I can ever express in any language what I felt.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    In the first experience I heard the steel serving spoon jumping up and down and striking against the steel lid and making a metallic sound. What was being communicated was that the deceased existed as energy, that all was not lost, that he could hear what I said to him and he was responding to my request of contacting me, that he was still my uncle and we could still communicate.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  In the first experience the sound originated externally outside of me, a steel spoon jumping up and down and striking against the steel lid. 

In the dream experiences I had a sense of knowing what was communicated. It was as if I had become him and was feeling his emotions.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           The deceased did not make the sound. It was made by the steel spoon jumping up and down and striking against the steel lid. It was not similar to the voice or sound the deceased made when he was alive.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           It was from another source. It was the steel spoon jumping up and down and striking against the steel lid. I saw it and heard it.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No, none at all.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

In my dream experiences: in the first one it was only his face which was expressionless. In the second one he appeared in his full body form

in spotless white clothes with a happy and peaceful smile on his youngish looking face.

When alive he would wear spotless white clothes but the last few times I met him he sometimes looked sad and much older than how he appeared in my dreams.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            In my dream experiences he appeared very solid and three dimensional; very real in both my dreams.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       In my dream experiences once I saw only his face; another time I saw his full body from head to toe.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       He was 75 yrs old when he died but looked much older because of his depression. When I saw him in my dreams he looked in his early fifties.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He suffered from major depression while alive. That made him infirm. When I saw him in my dreams he looked much younger and very healthy.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No, there is no such possibility.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        1) The first experience probably lasted thirty to forty seconds.

2) The initial dream experience lasted for a painfully long time, which seemed like the whole night. I can't say how many minutes.

3) The second dream experience lasted a minute or two probably, at least that is how I felt in the dream.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The first experience started very suddenly and gradually increased in intensity as if to attract my attention and ended abruptly after I had seen it for some time.

The other two were dream experiences which began and ended suddenly too, especially because I woke up from sleep.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

In the first experience the personality came through as I have explained in the written text.

In the dream experiences:

in the first one I was sure the deceased was going through the hellish sufferings of emotional/spiritual pain; in the second one I felt he was happy and at peace.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  When the deceased came in my dream the first time a little more than a year after his death I sensed he was suffering from extreme emotional/spiritual pain which I interpreted as major depression. Later on I found out he was suffering from it in the last few years of his life.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I view my experiences as very real because my uncle, who knew I was a skeptic and did not believe in anything till I had tangible proof, used my hearing and eyesight (two different sensory pathways) to establish initial contact with me. Had he come to me in a vision or had I heard his voice or anything similar I would have thought of them as illusions or my mind playing tricks. If he had come to me in my sleep I would have considered it a sad dream and just that, nothing more. When I saw the spoon jumping up and down and heard it make that kind of noise for a length of time without any possibility of anyone or anything else doing it, I got my proof. Once I believed his energy really existed and there could be a communication between us he found it easier to communicate in my dreams. Even in my dream he gave me information I had no prior knowledge of that I could verify later.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

Yes and no. 

Even though part of the communication was in a dream it was very real. There was nothing dream like about it.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           During the first experience where the spoon was jumping up and down my mind went blank. I did not understand what was going on as it was beyond my imagination. My mind was vacant, empty, there was nothing there, no emotion, no feeling. 

In my dream experiences, the first time my feeling/emotion was that of hellish emotional/spiritual suffering, sheer torture, it was unbearable, very painful and I just wanted it to end. During my second dream experience I felt happy and at peace.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

When my uncle died I had extreme sense of loss and isolation. After the first experience I was healed. All my grief vanished because I knew my uncle existed but in a different form and we could communicate. No therapist could have done what my deceased uncle did. The fact is I felt very happy and elated.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Knowing that life continues as energy and our loved ones are still connected with us is the best part. I don't think there is a worst part.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                  It has affected my relationship with my family and close friends. I spend more time with them, I appreciate them more and love them a lot. I value my relationships. At times I am aware of the energy of a person or a place to some extent. I have more confidence. It has affected the way I eat and exercise. I actively pursue physical, emotional and spiritual well being. Many people have started seeking me out to get encouraged. I believe in the power of prayer to raise my consciousness level and connect with the hearts of others. I don't pray to god though; I pray to the highest consciousness of the universe of which I am a part. I have become a lot more spiritual.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?         
I believe I got a glimpse of the other side of existence in that life exists as energy after a person dies. This energy is aware of our feelings and circumstances and can communicate with us. If need be I can help the deceased with my prayer for them to be happy in death. It's a very powerful feeling to know that I can help someone who is dead. Death of a person does not end the relationship.             

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     I make conscious efforts to keep in touch with my loved ones like my family members and close friends and spend quality time with them. I try to keep my consciousness at a higher level by having a positive attitude and prayer. I appreciate more and often. I love nature. I enjoy my own company. I enjoy silence. I think I am developing more compassion and wisdom. I feel the love of my deceased loved ones.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     Life is energy that takes on the costume of this body when alive. It casts off the costume in death. The link between the two worlds is the life to life/ heart to heart bond. I have never believed in God as a supreme being who rewards and punishes us for our good and bad deeds. I don't pray to god. My understanding of the supreme is the highest level of consciousness that exists in the universe of which we are all a part and which creates and de-creates everything. When I pray, I pray to activate this consciousness in my life and others' lives, dead or alive. I believe heaven and hell are states of mind. I have had these feelings ever since I was very small, but the ADCs somehow in some way I am yet to understand, made these beliefs stronger.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes The deceased had major depression in the last few years of his life which I was not aware of. I was made aware of it in my first dream experience which I was able to verify later from a family member.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Following my first experience I felt embraced in extreme love and peace and hope. I felt elated. I understood life does not end with death and continues as energy. I felt I had extended my arm and touched upon lightly the other side of existence. I felt the wonder of it. It's very hard to describe the depth and range of my feelings.

After my dream experience I understood the emotional condition of a person suffering from depression. The suffering of being in a painful hellish prison of their own mind where they lose any and all hope of ever coming out of it. I can understand and empathize with them. I could understand to some extent the mind state of a person taking her own life.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

During the first experience where the spoon jumped up and down it felt like time had stopped. The experience seems prolong but in all probability was less than a minute in duration.

Even during the first dream experience it seemed like it was never ending.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I felt like I touched upon lightly the other side of existence with my outstretched arm. I was made aware of the fact that life exists on the other side in the form of energy and that energy can perform tasks. That energy is aware of what is happening in our lives.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

After this experience I have had several communications with other loved ones including family members, friends and a beloved pet of a family member. My father's deceased coworker whom I never got to know while he was alive reached out to me through his son who contacted my father who then contacted me because he needed some help in overcoming his suffering on the other side. No, I have not developed any psychic ability. I just have a better awareness of energy like when I enter a house I can sense the energy in it. I have no special gifts.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

In my first dream experience I was going through extreme emotional/spiritual pain while I could see my uncle's unharmed, expressionless face engulfed in fire. I was fully aware that even though I was experiencing the pain it was actually my uncle's pain, not my pain. I was not aware of my body during this experience. I don't remember having a body.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I have shared this experience with a few family members and close friends. All of them believed it except my husband. It's not that he does not want to believe me but the experience is such that it does not fall within the parameters of his belief system.

One of my close friends and an aunt had their own after death communication experiences after hearing my experience. My aunt says she now understands my experience well and also why I use certain words and expressions to explain certain details of my experiences.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I have pretty much said it all as best as I could.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

I have had several other after death communications. I believe I had an out of body experience in my sleep.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

I have explained everything to the best of my ability. I could not separate the experiences I described in the text because I feel they are part of a single experience of an uncle and a niece supporting each other overcome suffering on either side of the great divide.   

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I think your questionnaire is very detailed and complete and you gave a lot of room to describe and explain. Can't think of anything else now. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story.