It was fathers day and I had been grieving the death of my grandfather for 15 years, I felt the need to get a message to him, that I knew that he loved me. I drove to the ranch he had owned and that I had spent many happy short stays with him at. I arrived and collected wild flowers from areas we had walked together when I was a child and placed all but one of them in a crack in the bark of a tree on his old ranch.  I sat there by the tree for about an hour, crying and telling him my special message.  The message was important to me because of the conditions of my childhood at home and the feeling that he was one of the 2 people in my childhood who had truly loved me and I needed him to know that I knew he did. I returned to my car and placed the remaining flower (wild rose) on a beverage holder between the dash and a pop can for safe keeping and started  driving toward where I was staying at the time. I had been in a horrible accident the previous year and had used up all of my savings while unable to work.  My daughter and I had recently become homeless and we were living in a travel trailer on a family friends farm. I was still upset and crying as I drove, I had to know that he knew that I knew he loved me.  The rose then levitated over the pop can and landed by me feet, with no logical explanation.  I KNEW he knew and I stopped grieving immediately and believe that he had gotten the message. The second and third time happened on the same day, my mom had been in the hospital and when she came home I went to her house to care for her until she recovered.  I was looking out her front window and I saw him standing under the tree, when I looked again he was gone.  Later that same day I looked up and saw him standing in her living room next to my favorite rocking chair.  The forth time was the next day.  About three am on Friday the 13th my mom woke me.  She had a nightmare and was having a heart attack.  When I arrived at the emergency room following her arrival via the ambulance, we were told that there was nothing they could do and that she is at end life heart disease.  My mom looked over by the heart monitor and asked who that man was...there was no one there I could see, but I believed that she had seen my grandfather because of my sighting of him the prior day...I said nothing. As she laid there waiting to find out what was going to happen now, I was heart broken as I laid my head down on the railing of her bed.  I heard a noise and looked up, it was the nurse, he had walked into the room.  We both looked at the heart monitor at the same time, and it was totally turned off.  I said, "it must have just turned off, it hadn't made any noise or anything."  He walked over to the monitor and checked the front, walked to the back and followed the power cord down the wall about 10 feet, it was unplugged.  We both looked at each other and had no explanation. I believe that he was there and was sending me a sign that I was not alone at this difficult time. She was admitted into the hospital and was eventually transferred to another hospital.  There were a series of events that took place and the doctors were able to fix a never seen before heart condition.  I stayed for 2 full weeks with her in the hospital.  She began being very mean and rude to me the last two days.  Family began to tell me stories about her hatred for me, I went back home some 6 hours east.  My heartbreak was unimaginable.  Yesterday I had pretty much reached a point of no return in my heart.  The feeling of betrayal was indescribable.  I was working in my yard and went into my garden shed and there was a cookie sheet laying on the floor.  It was one that I owned but had been in storage for 2 years in another location and was buried and not worth retrieving for use, and is one that I used to hold plants on in the past.  What made it so strange was I had purchased 7 plants from a few nurseries and had been packing them two at time in and out of the shed day and night until weather conditions improves for planting. When I first put them in the shed and had nothing handy to put them on, I pulled some discarded gardening gloves from the trash and laid them on the floor to put my plants on so as to not dirty the floor, the cookie sheet would have been most useful...saving me many extra trips each day in moving the plants in and out and also to keep the floor clean. I smiled to myself, and have been very moved by this thoughtful jester.  I have no explanation for these events except for love. I really don't know what to make of it though.  I think it is him, doing what he can to make my life easier and to let me know that I am not alone and that he does care how I am and how I feel.  That love doesn't just live in life, its alive in death as well.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

he was a younger man, at first I wasn't sure who it was, but once I looked at pictures from his younger years, I knew who I had seen.  He dressed nicely in a stylish forties look.  I knew him to dress nice as an old man, but he didn't dress as stylish as he appeared.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            solid

            How much of the deceased did you see?       all, but I only focused his upper half.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       no, he appeared to be about 30 or so but he died in his eighties.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            he appeared healthy and fit, good looking and in nice dress with no real expression on his face.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        just a glance.  The cookie sheet remains in the shed with my plants on it.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         sudden

just normal, just as if he was just checking or letting me know he was there.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I have no explanation for the cookie sheet, that is real...it is there, no doubt about it.  I was not in that location, absolutely was not there.  My shed is clean and orderly and I just cleaned it up, as I do each day that I am in and out of there with tools and plants.  The other sightings might just be a mind trick and something that altered my vision, I can not prove that it was real but to me it is as clear as day that he was there on the events that occurred.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           relief

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

love is alive and well.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      just knowing he is there and that his love is real and that love doesn't die with the ones you love. The worst is not being able to prove it...but that it really doesn't matter whether I can prove it or not.  All that matters is that he has the ability to get the messages to me and that I can get them.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   N0 comment            yes, I believe now that I am truly special to have my grandfather in my life.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     that people still care and love you when they aren't around to say it...that they look after you and show you that they can still love you.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            relief that he is there for me and that he does care how I am and what is happening in my life.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I am not sure that she believes me...maybe she thinks I've lost it.  She never said that but she did say "he sure is coming around a lot right now isn't he?"

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       no

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes