Shawndra C's ADC

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Experience description:

My grandmother had been sick for several years before she passed with tuberculosis and then later lung cancer. 

My dream starts that I am shopping in a clothing store and am looking for something on one of those round clothing racks. The store is very crowded with these racks and as I am rounding the rack I see my grandmother sitting there in her wheelchair watching me.  I am very excited and say "Grandma, your here! I notice she is holding my baby brother in her lap. She appears to be alive but my brother is wrapped in blankets and not moving. She notices me noticing him and I ask her "Did you bring him?" 

She says " Yes, Yes, but we don't have much time." I nod at her as if I understand completely and begin pushing the chair to a less crowded area of the store.  There we sit hidden by the circular clothes rack and I take my brother from her lap.  She sitting there watching me with a loving smile on her face. I hold my brother and smell him and that sweet baby smell.  I remember the blankets he was wrapped in were white with baby blue stripes around the edges that overlapped on the corners but I can't really remember seeing him.  I see my grandmother very plain.  She is dressed in a navy blue dress very simple style. Her hair is darker then I remembered it in life but the same style. I remember her skin being very pale and her lipstick very red.  I remember her smile and I remember thinking that this must be very hard on her because she seemed tired. 

We sat there for what seemed like a long time with my brother in my lap and me holding her hand.  I remember thinking it strange that she didn't feel cold to me. We didn't talk but it was like we knew each others thoughts and she would grin at me and even laughed. Then she said it was time to go and I stood up and placed my brother back in her lap.  I leaned over the chair and hugged her from behind and I remember her patting my arm.  Then I am behind her and pushing the chair again when I jerk awake. I am out of breath as if the wind has been knocked from me.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes, I can describe the experience but not the feelings associated with it

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   She spoke to me only twice.  Once to say that we didn't have much time and then to say it was time to go.  that is I saw her speak and heard her words.  While we were holding hands she didn't actually talk but It was like she was communicating. I felt she knew my thoughts and was feeling the parts of my life she had missed since her death.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  When she spoke it came from her, outside of me.  The other thing was more a sense of knowing we were sharing our experiences.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was my grandmothers voice as I remember it.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           I don't believe so.  I was alone in my room.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   I was asleep

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

I held my brother in my lap and smelled his baby smell.  I held my grandmothers hand. And also I hugged her over the back of the chair and she patted me with her hand on my shoulder upper arm area

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   familiar

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  the touch was comforting

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  I don't think so

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

She was in her wheelchair which was very familiar.  Her hair was the same style I remembered but seemed darker then I remembered. She was very pale which had been the case when she was living. I remember her having bright red lipstick on which I don't recall her wearing in life.  She didn't look particularly healthy but she wasn't struggling to breathe as she had for the last several years of her life. I don't recall seeing my brother except as a bundle of blankets.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            solid

            How much of the deceased did you see?       Helen, I saw all of her I believe

Michael, I can't recall actually seeing him.  Just knowing he was in the blankets and feeling the weight of him when I held him.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       Helen, appeared a the age of her death

Michael, appeared at the age of his death

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Helen, was in her wheelchair which she used because of weakness due to the breathing problems.  She was not struggling to breath as she had in life.

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           I had been sleeping and it was like a dream but more real

How long did the experience last?        I'm not sure.  It seemed like we sat together for a long time but it was still night when I awoke

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The end seemed very sudden.  The beginning was more gradual

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

She seemed rushed at first and somewhat anxious but when we were sitting together it was like she felt my emotions.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  She gave me a sense of peace but no specific information

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          I can't really explain.  It was one of many similar dreams I had about my grandmother. Sometimes my brother was there sometimes not.  I always felt at peace after the dreams and even though it came to me like a dream it FELT different then a dream.  Like I wasn't just seeing myself do these things I WAS doing them.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

Well It happened while I was asleep and then I "woke up"  suddenly as you might from a disturbing dream.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I felt a sense of amazement that she was there but once I saw her it was like I knew she would be there and that she was bringing my brother. I felt warm and loving while holding my brother and relaxed and happy, peaceful while sitting with my grandmother.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

I don't remember feeling particularly uneasy or depressed before the incident but I definitely had a peaceful feeling afterwards.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The experience was very pleasant

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain

Describe:      I believe the experiences have helped to shape who I am but again I was so young there wasn't any obvious sudden change in my life

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?        
It was a pleasant experience and I would not mind having more.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

I can't remember what my beliefs were prior to this experience since I was so young.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Uncertain

I was young at the time so I am not sure if it had that impact on me at the time I just remember feeling peaceful.  I do think it has helped shape my spiritual believes.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

My best friends mom committed suicide when we were 15 years old.  WE made a pact after that that if there was any way possible we would contact the other if one of us should die. She is still living and was not a part of the dream

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I was like WoW! Felt very peaceful

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

It seemed we were together for a very long time despite my grandmother saying we did not have much time.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

It seemed I understood her initial urgency and I didn't seem surprised by the situation.  It seemed I Knew what to do and I didn't ask questions.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

I have on occasion had psychic and paranormal experiences but I don't know if this ever occurred prior to the "dreams".

Have you shared this experience with others?         I have told my parents and siblings. My mom believes it was real I am not sure of my father. Siblings are pretty accepting and some have had there own experiences.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Uncertain 

I had similar dreams over about a ten year span. Coincidently the time I lived in that house and had my grandmothers old room

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Uncertain 

Very recently I was feeling very overwhelmed and depressed and had pleaded in my prayers that night that I might have some relief.  I went to sleep about 9pm and awoke at 12:30 to the smell of roses. I recall pulling back as I woke up like something was right by my face and thinking "I smell roses." I don't think I fully woke up then again at 4:30 I awoke again pulling back from the strong smell of roses this time I was fully awake and the smell lingered for about 5 minutes.  I had goose bumps but was not afraid.  I remember wondering what was happening.  I was alone in my room and couldn't see anything that could be the source of the smell.  It was sudden and very strong then just gone.  I laid there in awe for a while and must have fallen back to sleep.  When I woke and now for several days I have had a peaceful feeling. Even though nothing in my situation that was causing me to feel overwhelmed has changed