Sheila L's Azrael Encounter
On September 8th, 1999, an online acquaintance, who used the screen name, The Infernal Emissary, sent me a poem he wrote. This poem filled my mind with tormented imagery, so I asked him what the poem was about. He told me the poem was about his experience with Azrael. I didn't recognize the name, so I asked him, Who is Azrael? He told me that Azrael was the Angel of Death. I didn't understand this, because I became fascinated with the name. I spent most of the night repeating the name over and over again. I loved the way this name made me feel when I spoke it and I found it hard to believe this name would ever cause the type of sorrow the poet wrote about.
The next morning, I awoke from a dream. In this dream I met Azrael and he told me an entirely different story about who he was. He also showed me a table of numbers and letters. I sent that off to a number of people who wrote articles about it, but to this day, they haven't been able to explain it's meaning. The communications began to intensify and as they did, my stress levels sky-rocketed. Eventually, Azrael and I worked out a different solution to our communication issues and we've enjoyed a relationship for the past five years.
From this relationship, I learned Biblical Hebrew and the forms that evolved later. I found almost every one of his original records, and the records that were written about him, which first exalted and later, demonized him - each process making it almost impossible to discover his original identity. I laid these records out in chronological order on a website and began the process of inquiry and debate with the current day scholars and religious leaders.
interesting and while I still do not follow a religion, I have more appreciation
for spiritual concerns and studies.
Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience: I was flirting online with a guy who went by the screen name, the Infernal Emissary. This guy sent me a poem that produced a ton of nasty imagery in my mind. When I asked him what the poem was about, he told me it was about his experience with Azrael. I'd never heard this name before, but found myself repeating it over and over again. I liked the way the name made me feel when I spoke it and couldn't understand why this name would cause that guy to write such an intensely sad poem, so I asked him... Who is Azrael? He told me this was the name of the Angel of Death.
The next morning Azrael and I met in a dream... and he had an entirely different story:
your experience, did you consider the contents of your experience:
Have you had multiple experiences? Yes Five years of contact.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No comment
In the beginning because I honestly didn't know what to make of it, let alone how to deal with him. The communications caused a lot of emotional stress and I used to think I was losing my mind... but everything he said has been right on the money. Every record he said existed, did and they were all exactly where he said they would be.
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: Azrael's voice is easier to here upon waking up. He has a very soft, sultry voice that's extremely calming. All of his words are perfectly pronounced and never fade out.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? His voice came from outside of me.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? I don't know. I've never heard Azrael speak when he lived but he was renown as a reader of divine law when he lived. If his voice hasn't changed, he probably wowed the crowds when he read the divine laws to them.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Absolutely not. Most of the religious scholars agree, there is simply no way I could have known what I wrote about Azrael's origin, even if I studied a lifetime.
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
Azrael would touch my hair, my hand, my forehead and this developed over time to include sexuality.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? I would say it was familiar, but I've never met him before, so it isn't so much familiar as it feels familiar.
Was anything communicated by the touch? Azrael taught me to read and write in Hebrew by writing love poetry. He would at times guide my hand or steady it when I attempted to answer. At times, I didn't even need to check the words that were written when he did this... I seemed to already know them, just by his touch.
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Not a chance.
Did you see the deceased? Yes
Azrael is tall, well groomed, late thirties to early forties with dark hair, intense eyes, well defined cheeks a sensual lips. He's gentle, not very strong in physical appearance. Beautiful hands with smooth, slender fingers. Looks somewhat like that one-hit wonder from the 70's - David Essex (Rock On). He's nice on the eyes.
How clearly did the deceased appear? He looked as normal as any other living person. I couldn't tell the difference.
How much of the deceased did you see? Over time, his whole body.
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? He appeared to be the age he died.
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? He appears to be very healthy.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Not a chance!
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? Yes
What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell? Can't even describe it but if I ever do find a source here on Earth, I'd definitely recognize the scent.
Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar? Nothing I've ever smelled before.
Was anything communicated by the smell? No.
Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Not a chance!
How long did the experience last? Not long... it would accompany him on certain visits, but not every visit.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? Relationship hasn't ended.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
He's patient, understanding... can be moody but not often.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Tons! None of it helpful to me, but it might be enough to disqualify the current Jihad in the middle east. The scholars are working on some of the challenges and debates, but these are very touchy subjects being discussed by very touchy people.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: I believe this experience was real because everything this being told me could be verified. Despite the language issues and other factors that made it impossible for scholars to "connect-the-dots" - I had no problem acquiring Azrael's records.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Despite the weird symbolism in some communications, I could swear we communicated no differently than I would have with any living people.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: In the beginning, I would feel suicidal because I just didn't like the way I was brought to one state only to be dumped back the way I was. It took a bit of mental conditioning and now, after our meetings I feel more relaxed.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes Sometimes.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The initial shock and instability was the worst. The ability to confirm the records and Azrael's identity, exactly as he explained it to me - outstanding!
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No Describe: Still the same me... same jobs, same bills. Life is life... but at least I can appreciate it to it's fullest and make the most of this experience.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes I want to repair the records back to their original condition... if that's possible.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes I knew we all came from somewhere and we would all leave here for somewhere else, but I've got hold of a bigger picture now... so all this coming and going doesn't seem so confusing... I see the method to the madness if you will.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes Tons, some are mentioned on forums, such as Spiritual Companions.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Loving emotions and a focused mind.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes
I wrote Donald Tyson, an occult writer for Llewelyn, in October of 1999. His website addressed Enochian Language. I told him I was shown something entirely different, and asked him if he'd like to take a crack at it:
many others have been involved in my communications since then.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes He takes me places sometimes.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? No
Did you become aware of future events? Yes Spot on accuracy.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
At times, I became conscious that I was existing on other levels of existence all at the same time.
meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?
Azrael did not want me to communicate with others... he feared this would only confuse me.
Did you see a light? Yes Certain times.
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? Yes Where ever I happen to be - and yes, that can mean in a grocery store.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes Very mixed reactions.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? Yes
I've created my own website: http://www.songofazrael.org
anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?
Best advice in the world: It's no
different than any other type of earthly relationship. Stick to one being...
get to know that being... everything about him/her. Too many different spirits
is like shoving that many people in the same room... no one will be able to hear
what the other is saying.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
The only medical problem I had was the earlier year, September 11, 1998, in which my gall bladder ejected a stone that got lodged in my bial-duct. It required emergency surgery and I was released the next day. Apart from a couple of colds, that's it. No problems with depression, no problems with moods. I'm a very disciplined thinker.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. You've covered more than enough... and if I were to complain it would only be because this took so long. Hope the info helps.